It's Mother's Day today, so first and foremost, Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there. But most importantly, HMD to my mama!! My mom, my best friend, my twinsie. This wonderful woman who gave me life and made me the woman that I am today. This is a woman who I talk, text, Snapchat, and/or FaceTime with multiple times a day. This is a woman who deserves an entire blog post dedicated to her. Why? Because as much as she annoys me from time to time (let's call a spade a spade here!), I am beyond lucky to have her as my mom.
My mother and I are closer than many mother-daughters I know. It wasn't always smooth sailings with us, but over the years we have just gotten closer and closer. Many people still joke that even though we are 800 miles apart, that the cord still hasn't been cut. Hey, I'm, okay with that.
All my summer blog posts have been about my travels, so why not write another one on that topic, huh? This time, it will be about my trip home to Chicago this past week. I go home every summer since I have the time off, but this was by far my shortest summer trip. It was only seven days long. Sigh. Because my mom went back to work already and both my dad and brother work everyday and I don't have a car there, they didn't think it was a good idea I stay much longer than a week. Usually I would disagree with that and fight to stay longer but because I was gone for so much of the summer already, I wanted to have some free time in NYC to just relax before work starts again. This summer sure flew by. Eight weeks just isn't enough!!
Everyone that knows me, knows that I love going home. I love hanging out with my family and basically lounging around the house. It's like I never left when I am there. I immediately make myself at home while at home. Obvs. Of course there is pool time and downtown time, and plenty of eating time included too. Even though it was a relatively short visit home, there were many highlights this vacay as per usual.
I'm sure you have seen and heard the phrase YOLO ad nauseum in recent months. According to Drake, you can thank him for it because he "invented" it. His song "The Motto" is basically an ode to it. (See video below) He kind of started this whole YOLO thing with the song and it's caught on. Even though sometimes people mock this phrase, I respect it and need to start following it a bit more. I mean, really, you do only live once.
Sometimes you have to take life by the balls and stop waiting around. I am sick of waiting for people to do stuff with. (Especially vacations.) If I want to spend the money and/or my time and do something that interests me, then I need to step up and just do it. By myself. And for myself. If I can't do things for myself, who can I do them for? And I actually really do enjoy doing things alone so I don't see what the big deal is anyway.
I want this to sound the least pathetic as possible, but what am I holding on to all of my savings for right now? I don't have a boyfriend or even any prospects to spend money on. I'm not planning a wedding. I have no intention of buying a condo in NYC anytime soon. And I don't have a child. Therefore, what am I being so thrifty for at my still youngish age? I am a very responsible woman who deserves to live it up once in a while. And before any of the above things happen, I need to enjoy the little youth I have left in my life and have some fun. YOLO, right? What am I waiting for exactly?
October is breast cancer awareness month. There is pink everywhere. Please tell me you have noticed this. This is the month where many people really show their support for breast cancer research by buying products and wearing products that help make others aware of breast cancer prevention. There are breast cancer walks and runs to raise money and awareness and it really is a fantastic thing. Breast cancer is a disease that almost everyone knows someone affected by, if not directly affected themselves. I myself know many people who have fought and won their battle with breast cancer (Go Grandma!!) as well as those that have lost their lives because of this disease.
Last weekend while running in Central Park, there wasn't one, but there were two Breast Cancer walks going on. The Avon 2-day walk was finishing up their 40 mile walk and the Making Strides 10K walk followed up after them. During my run, I passed hundreds of walkers, almost all of them donning pink. It was so inspiring. I think I got teary-eyed like 20 times. No joke. What gets me every time is the women wearing the "Survivor" T-shirts. They are amazing. They fought and beat this terrible disease and are out there walking with pride to bring awareness to others.
I am very use to doing things alone. Shopping alone. Going to movies alone. Running alone. No biggie, right? But training for and running a marathon is something I have never really done alone before. And it's kind of something I don't want to do on my own. As someone who usually prefers doing stuff solo, this is not a journey I want to go on completely by myself.
I have run five marathons before and always had someone by my side in almost all aspects of the experience. I had training partners, someone to go to the expo with me, someone to at least start the race with, and always my mom when I was done. (If it was a Chicago Marathon, I even had my dad there too when I was done.)
Hola! That's hello in Spanish. You're very welcome for dropping that little piece of knowledge on you. I took 6 years of Spanish but can barely speak it conversationally. I do know many words and can put a sentence together if need be but should know a lot more than I do. I lost so much of it over time. Spanish is one of those language that everyone seems to use and will throw in Spanish or even Spanglish words in everyday convo here and there. But most people know when they are using these non-English words and use them on purpose. But there is another language that people also use quite often and don't even realize its not English. That language is Yiddish.
Does anyone speak Yiddish anymore? Anyone besides my grandparents, that is? They both still speak pretty fluent Yiddish and speak it around us when they don't want us to know what they are talking about. They will talk about us right in front of our faces and we will have no idea what they are saying. Even though that can be sometimes be annoying, the Yiddish language is becoming lost and it's a damn shame.
I am currently home in Chicago this week for my spring break and obvi love every second of it. Since I am still in a spring cleaning mood (had a great Friday purging clothes and can't wait until round two when I get back) and my mom nagged me to go through some of my old stuff to donate/toss, I went through the desk drawers in my bedroom. I had two old diaries in there from grade school. I never really kept a diary on a regular basis, but had always wished I was consistent with it. Neither diary I found was full, but they had some stuff in there that I may have been unhappy about back then, but is now hilarious. One diary was from 1990 and had about 10 entries in it and another was from 1993. Apparently I made it my New Years resolution in '93 to write in it everyday because I started January 1 but only made it to mid Feb with like 8 or so missed days in between. It is so NOT like me to start something and quit, but apparently I have grown up a lot since then.
One thing that was made very clear in my diary entries is that both my relationship with my mom and my brother (Adam) has greatly improved over the years, especially with my mother. My dad and I always got along, even when he coached me (and I had a self-admitted severe attitude problem). We never had any big issues and I was always a daddy's girl. I think I called him a "dummy" once in a diary entry. Burn. I also know growing up, my brother and I fought a lot. Like a lot. I was totally verbally abusive to him, very impatient, and we often got into physical fights. We still get in tiffs today if we spend too much time together but now that we are older, we have really fun times together. (Perhaps you have read about our night out in Mexico?) In grade school, my mom used to threaten to send us to a social worker to talk about our problems but never ended up following through. There are some diary entries about her threats regarding this and me not wanting to go because if my friends found out I saw a social worker, I'd be mortified. Other diary entries have mentions of how unattractive I found red head guys, how much I enjoy eating rolls, my love for my crush (I wrote about him A LOT), and tons about basketball. In typical me fashion, one entry ends "I have so much to complain about my basketball team right now, but not nearly enough room to write about it." Some things never change. And then there are others change drastically...like my relationship with my mama.
I just finished reading Jodi Picoult's new book Sing You Home. One of the main characters in the book is a music therapist and at the beginning of the book, she goes on to explain how certain songs can evoke memories in people. How upon hearing a certain song, it can bring you back to that place emotionally. How you were feeling and experiencing at that time. In my opinion, this concept is so very true, and it started to make me think of songs that I hear and bring me back to certain (usually special) times in my life. I can think of numerous songs that I only need to hear the first five seconds of and they will transform back to a place in time. Sometimes that song might bring m back to a sad time, but usually the song takes me back to a very happy and fun time in my life. Below are 5 songs that I hear and right away and automatically get me transform me back to a "happy place."
1. Thong Song (Sisco) and Big Pimpin' (Jay-Z) Remember back in the day, when big events would come up and you'd make a mix tape or a mix CD to remember that event. I use to make them all the time for flights when going on vacation and for road trips in college. One of the best mix CD's I ever made was for my senior year of high school spring break trip with my girlfriends. We went on a Carribbean cruise that spring break and it was such a fun time. We played that mix over and over again. I listened to it on the airplane and we played it on the deck of the ship and on the beach over and over again. Today, when I hear either of those songs, usually on shuffle on my iPod, I instantly get a smile on my face and can't help but shake my head to the beats of the music and the good times I had with my girlfriends on that trip.
2. Forever Young (Rod Stewart) I will usually hear this song listening to classic rock on some random station in someone's car and it brings me back to seventh grade. This is the song that my Bat Mitzvah montage starts off with. As the song plays, there are pictures of me on the screen of me in different points of my life and you can see me growing up. The second I hear that song, I can picture that montage in my head. Damn, I was so adorable when I was little.
3. Ignition (R. Kelly) and In Da Club (50 Cent). My junior year of college, my mom and I went to Florida for about 5 days together to visit my grandparents. We also made small road trips daily to Ft. Lauderdale, South Beach, etc... and would bump tunes in the car and sing along. We listened to a lot of hip hop and pop radio stations and these two songs were pretty mainstream and played on both stations so we heard them a lot. And we'd sing along and out loud each time. My mom also knew all the words to both songs so we'd really rock out the duets each time. This was one of the best trips I have ever been on. It was the first vacation my mom and I ever took just the two of us and really solidified our relationship. She is truly my best friend and its funny to think how much R. Kelly and 50 Cent could brought us so much closer.Whenever I hear these songs, I think of all our adventures that trip and all the memories we made together.
4. Crank That (Soulja Boy). Believe it or not, this song reminds me of Israel? You see, a little after this song became popular I went on my Birthright trip to Israel. I was one of 2 people on that trip from NYC so that automatically upped my street cred in the group, natch. Not only did I know the words to the song, I knew the dance too. Pretty fly for a white Jewish girl, right? The trip was 10 days long and there wasn't a day on that trip that we didn't hear that song and I didn't perform the dance for our entire travel group. By the end of the trip, most of our 40 person group knew all the dance moves and we would often just break into dance on the middle of our bus. Israel didn't know what was hitting 'em.
5. I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor). Every year in middle school there was a talent show. In seventh grade, three friends and myself decided to enter the show and lip sync and dance to this song. We choreographed the entire dance and had color coordinated costumes. Basically, we were the shit. I mean, we practiced our butts off for this show and when it was our time to perform, we nailed it. All the practice, time, and energy we put into our act paid off. We were a hit. Also, for the rest of the year, when this song came on at Bar and Bat Mitzvahs (which we may or may not have requested to the DJ), everyone circled around us as we danced our little hearts out with our awesome choreography. These days, I usually only hear this song at weddings or Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, but you better believe I will whip out some of my old dance moves and show everyone that I've still got it.
Some of the songs I listed above might mean nothing to you at all. They might also bring back a completely different type of memory for you. However, for me, I know that even writing this post helped me reminisce of great times in my life and how much music can really affect someone and change their mood. With so much more to come in my life, I know I will be able to connect to so many more songs, both old and new, and make new memories with them.
Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries dated for about 6 months. They were engaged for about 3 months and were married for less than 2.5 months. That's only 72 days of marriage for those have that been living in a bubble these past few days. These two moved fast. Really fast. Got married fast. Got divorced even faster. But is anyone really surprised? Not. At. All. What was the rush? I mean, really?
Since I am an avid reader of celeb gossip websites and magazines, I have been following their romance from the start and have had my own opinions on each of them and their relationship from the get go. Obviously I don't know either one of them personally and everything I know is from what I read in my magazines and see on their "reality" show. Therefore I am no professional, but I am entitled my own opinions. I think Kim is vapid, dumb, and has no real personality. And I think Kris just got caught up with the lifestyle that Kim provided before he got in too deep and realized the craziness that is the Kardashian brand.
Kim and I are of similar ages and I know the pressure of being this old and not being married already. Oh, the horror! With her younger sister married, and her older sister already with child and a long-term boyfriend, Kim felt the pressure to tie the knot herself. Not to mention all the financial perks that came along with it in her case (Free dresses, cake, flowers and an entire TV special). However, was it really worth rushing into the relationship, engagement, and wedding? Nope. She embarrassed herself, her brand, and the sanctity of marriage. For reals.
Here's the thing about this that really bothers me about this: They knew each other for such a short period of time, most of which was in front of a camera, and actually thought this would work out. Or did they? They were going to get a windfall for this wedding regardless if they were really in love and knew it would last. Everyone keeps saying Kim is just a hopeless romantic that is "in love with being in love." I think she is just in love with publicity and money. Why else would she have rushed into all this? They barely knew each other. And did they really think that they did?
I would never get engaged to anyone without dating them for at least 9 months and would never marry anyone without living with them first. And we'd have to live together for a substantial amount of time. How can you really know someone without living with them? Going to sleep by their side and waking up next to them (sans make-up, combed hair, and brushed teeth). Seeing their daily habits. Showing them your good, your bad, and your ugly. You should be able to do (almost) anything in front of them you'd do on your own. You should be able to cry in front of them (something Kim did only once in front of Kris), fart in front of them, and be sick in front of them. They should know you better than anyone else. After all, you are going to spend the rest of your life with this person. For better or worse. FOR-EV-ER.
For some reason, divorce scares the crap out of me. If I met someone, got married, and it ended in divorce, I would be so upset with myself for allowing that to happen. I would honestly feel like I failed. Like it was a character flaw on my end for not knowing this would happen. For me, divorce cannot happen. I want to get married once and stay married to that person for my entire life. There is no other option.
My parents are still married. They've been married for over 30 years and I find that to be an amazing accomplishment. For anyone. It makes me very proud when I can tell people my parents are still together. And when I see them hold hands, it makes me giddily happy. They are accomplishing something that over half of the country can't. Well done, Mom and Dad. I love you guys even more for that and I can only hope I achieve the same thing.
The thing that Kim and Kris' divorce made even more clear to me is how important marriage is. It's a big freaking deal. You have to really know each other. And love each other unconditionally. Not just because its convenient for you or because you feel its just the next step you have to take (or because you will rake in $17 million for the TV special). I think Kim was so caught up with the "Fairytale Wedding", she forgot about the actual Fairytale and living the "Happily Ever After." Shame on her.
Saturday Night Live is usually known for their sketch characters and the skits they are in. It's kind of pathetic that I know this fact, but usually after the host comes out and does his/her monologue, their is is a fake commercial. You sit there for a second and think "wait, is this real?" until you recognize one or a few of the cast members in the commercial and realize how ridiculous this commercial actually is. I still remember watching SNL with my mom on the couch Sunday mornings and when the fake commercial came on, we always got so excited. We'd be "ooh ooh fake commercial...fake commercial" and brace ourselves for laughter. I still think that to myself this day when I see one. Below I have listed my top six favorite SNL commercials.
1. Schmitts Gay Buff men in Speedos. I'll take it. Even if they do like other men.
2. Homocil Aw. You don't need a pill, just some tolerance. Take it until you come around. Check out this commercial.
3. Oooops, I Crapped my Pants Every time I have a Colitis flare-up I wish I had these. No joke.
4. Mom Jeans. "You're not a woman anymore, you're a mom." Thankfully, none of the moms I know would be caught dead in these bad boys. For some reason, YouTube took the video down, so click HERE to view.
5. Peyton Manning for United Way. See, athletes can be funny too!
And one for good luck: The Shake Weight DVD. Ok, so this fake commercial is mocking a real product and is probably one of the funniest. It's that damn girl in the pink shirt. She's in on it.
Obviously all of these are ridiculous and would never get anyone to think they were actually real. SNL needs to start stepping up their game again because their fake commercials lately have been lacking. At least I can hold onto these memories of laughing on the couch with my mom and also be grateful that she doesn't own a single pair of mom jeans. Phew.
Weight loss shows seem to be all the rage lately. Shows that feature extremely overweight and/or morbidly obese people trying to take off the pounds and adapt to a lifelong healthy lifestyle. Whenever these types of shows come on TV you can almost always count me in as a viewer. And a crier. Biggest Loser. Duh. Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. Yep. MTV's I Use To Be Fat. Uh huh. VH1's Celebrity Fit Club. Obvi. And the list goes on. I usually have to keep a large box of tissues near me when I watch because these shows often always have me in tears. Tears of sadness for the pain in these people's lives, both physical and emotional. Tears of happiness when they achieve their goal. Tears of disappointment if they don't. Tears of fear of becoming that large myself. I can't help it. I get sucked in to the realism of it all. In fact, when they tell their stories, I often find myself relating to them. And this is what is so heart-wrenching. I am no where close to their size, yet I possess a lot of the same feelings about my body that they do about theirs. (On a totally semi-related note, if I see an extremely obese person in public, I sometimes burst into tears. It is not something I am proud to admit, or even embarrassed to admit, but it just always hits a nerve for me. Yes, I am aware I should probably be in therapy about this.)
One of my biggest fears in life is becoming obese. I hate to say it, but I honestly do not know what I would do with myself if I became "that" big. I have a hard enough time dealing with and accepting the size I am now, and the thought of being any heavier scares me to death. This is probably the reason I watch these shows. They almost ingrain this fear in me that scares me so much, I know I will never let that happen to myself. (Hopefully.)
My mother, is also a fan of many of these so called "fat-people shows" and we discuss them often. Unfortunately, and it should come as no surprise to her as she is reading this, that she is probably the main reason with my obsession with weight. For as long as I can remember, my mom has criticized my weight, what I eat, and my exercise habits. (I love you mom, but you can't deny this.) Mind you, I eat pretty healthy a majority of the time and I work out on a regular basis. But for some reason, I am still overweight. Yes, it bothers me a lot, but it seems to bother her more. In fact, the only time we fight or she makes me cry is over my weight (and the fact that I am still single. And don't think I don't see a correlation between those two things.) It's probably unhealthy that we discuss these shows because of this trigger between us, but we can't stop. I know deep down that I will never be the size of one of the participants on these shows, but I do sympathize with them. They bare all on national TV all for the sake of becoming healthy. They are very brave and I wish them nothing but the best. But shame on them for making me cry so much. Oh wait, that's my issue, not theirs.
Reading the title of this post, you may think I am referring to myself. I am not. I am quoting many mothers (mine included) that I know of girls my age who are still single. This specific quote has come out of my mom's mouth but most recently, it came out of the mouth of one of my best friend's (LL) mother. And not for the first time. Try almost every single time they talk and are together. She told LL she needs to hurry up and meet a man because "she is not getting any younger and if she needs someone to babysit her future children she better act now". Nothing like a little motherly advice. It's like they think we actually enjoy being single when a lot of our other friends are getting married and even starting to have kids. This is not the case.
LL's mom and my mom have never met, but they certainly share the same opinions about their single daughters. Everyone is so "worried" for us single girls. LL's mom even sent her a letter that said "she was very concerned for her future" because she is still single. This blew me away. We laughed a whole lot about this one and read it over and over. Laughing the entire time. A whole letter devoted to her daughter's singledom. Doesn't she see how awesome her daughter is? I actually think she does know which is why she is so shocked LL is still single and why my mom and other mothers just expect guys to automatically fall in love with their beautiful, charming, amazing daughters. Why can't the guys see what great catches our mom's, ourselves, and eacho ther know we are? Well, according to the mothers, there are many reasons we can't seem to land a man:
1) We are very unapproachable when we are out. How do they know this? They have never been to the bars with us. Do they picture us in the corner, arms crossed with scowls on our faces? Why yes, they do. Is this true? Absolutely not!
2) Any guy that talks to us, we disregard without giving him a chance. This is not often the case. When guys do approach us, we do give them a chance. It's a slight one that we'd hope they try and take advantage of, but its a chance. If they don't use it to their fullest, then they best be on their way because we don't have the patience and they are blocking the way of other potential cuties.
3) Burping. Well this one is true and its all on me. My friends don't burp in public like I do and they often scold me for doing so, but I can't help it. Its a part of who I am. I really try to hold it in in public, especially if around cute guys, but sometimes the beer gets the best of me. Love it or leave it.
4) We don't approach guys, we wait for them to come to us. Another blatant falsity. I am very outgoing, even more so under the influence of alcohol (as are my friends). If we see someone that interests us, 8/10 times we will approach them. Do they always reciprocate the attraction? No. But that's life. You don't know if you don't try. So yes, moms, we do try. But don't expect us to just walk up to anyone. We do have high standards you know.
Mommas, yes, you aren't getting any younger, and neither are we. Yes, we go out and have fun with our girlfriends and drink and dance all night, but is this something we want for the rest of our life? Absolutely not. We want to find a companion, life partner, maybe even the father of our chidren. It's not like we are actively trying to be single. We still haven't found "The One" and we aren't going to force it and we aren't going to settle. And you shouldn't pressure us into doing so. We know we deserve the best and would hope you feel the same way. It will happen. But it takes time. Be patient. And if it bothers you so much, start your own blog about your single, pathetic daughters.
Probably over half of the phone calls I have with my mother end with her saying "Love you...(pause)....Jdate." Mind you I talk with her multiple times a day (that's a whole other issue) so I hear this quite often. She tries to sneak it in there subliminally like I am not going to hear it. If you know her, you can probably actually picture her doing this or even here her saying it. The woman is obsessed with me internet dating. Obsessed I tell you. She (and my grandma on numerous separate occasions) have even offered to pay for it for me. I am 29 years old, make good money, and they are offering to pay for MY internet dating. That is how bad they want me to do it. You'd think they have stock in JDate. They actually don't care what dating site I use, as long as I find a nice Jewish husband. However, for some reason, even though it is 2011 and so many people use internet dating, I still feel there is a stigma attached with it. If I did do it, and actually met the man of my dreams, and someone asked me how we met, I would be mortified to say "JDate" (or any online dating service). I don't know what it is, but I really find it to be embarrassing. However, if others tell me they met that way, I don't laugh or think its weird. It's my own little issue that I just can't get over. My mom actually thinks it's more embarrassing to meet my future husband in a bar than on the internet, but I just can't agree with her on that one.
I have had friends do JDate, eHarmony, Match, and OkCupid and I don't judge them. To each their own, but its just not my thing. I love hearing stories of their dates. Many of them however, don't end promising enough to give me the motivation to join. I may be singing a different tune in a few more years (or even a few more months) if I am still single, but for now, I am happy going out and meeting different guys, even if they barely peak my interest. I like face to face contact; seeing what a person really looks like the first time I meet them. The internet can be deceiving and yes, I do care what someone looks like. Call me shallow, but anyone who is saying looks don't matter is flat out lying. Yes, someone may not be the most attractive person at first, but can get more and more attractive the more you know them and their personality, but you aren't going to talk to someone you don't know (or click on their profile) if they are uggs.
So, why am I so against internet dating for myself? Well, I am actually pretty confident with my social skills and am working on being more confident with my appearance. But I think I would be even more insecure if I posted my best pictures online and then met up with a guy from the internet and just saw his look of disappointment. I couldn't handle that. This is my major fear with internet dating.
Ultimately, I would love to have a great story on how I met my future husband. Maybe a friend introduced us. "God, I have this friend. She is such a catch. Really amazing. You should meet her" and he does and falls in love with me. Or we bump carts at Trader Joes, chit chat a bit, then he asks me out. Or you are on the opposite team of one of the many sports I play and are just so impressed by my athleticism you have to meet me. Whatever it may be, I just feel in my heart that I am not going to meet my future husband online. However, if I do decide to give it a go, you better believe I will be entering my mother's credit card number in the payment section.
The other day, a friend of mine, LL, was in a bad/sad mood so I told her I had just the cure to cheer her up. No it wasn't alcohol, silly. She had taken care of that part already herself. It was the video montage from my Bat Mitzvah. That's right folks, I thought I would make my friend feel better by having her watch me at one of the most embarrassing and ugly stages of my life: middle school. And not just middle school. She was going to bare witness to the day, according to Judaism, where I became a woman. So why would this make her feel better you ask? Because she has only known me for 2 years, and although we are super close, she only knows the stunning, awesome, hilarious "me" of today, not 13-year old me awkward me with bangs, a long french braid, and a Neiman Marcus suit. (I refuse to post a picture!) I thought this would make her laugh and bring a much-needed smile to her face. And I succeeded. Yes!
When she left my apartment, LL was in a much better mood than when she entered. Mission accomplished. Right before she left, LL spotted the picture on my bedroom wall of my family on the day of my Bat Mitzvah and laughed again. It was then, that I promised her that whenever she is down again, I will take a picture of that picture and text it to her. It is guaranteed to make her giggle and make her feel better. Every little bit helps. And LL, the next time I am down, I expect nothing less than us making fun of pictures/videos of you in middle school. Just sayin'.
October is breast cancer awareness month. There is pink everywhere. Please tell me you have noticed this. This is the month where many people really show their support for breast cancer research by buying products and wearing products that help make others aware of breast cancer prevention. There are breast cancer walks and runs to raise money and awareness and it really is a fantastic thing. Breast cancer is a disease that almost everyone knows someone affected by, if not directly affected themselves. I myself know many people who have fought and won their battle with breast cancer (Go Grandma!!) as well as those that have lost their lives because of this disease.
