My family went to Puerto Vallarta over winter vacation. Our first family trip together in almost ten years. We were all so excited to finally go somewhere tropical again in the cold winter. My brother and I were going to share a room and my parents were right across the way in their own room. We got in late the first night so didn't go out, but the second night my bro and I were ready to party. At an all-inclusive resort, we were at the disposal of as much free booze and food as we wanted. Our room even had a bar in it with all the free alcohol we could imagine and fridge full of beer and mixers (that was refilled daily). Awesome.
We went down to watch the special performance of the night and started drinking. I made the mistake of having my brother order the drinks each time. If I don't drink beer, I will usually drink vodka sodas so he ordered me one of those. But here was the kicker...without my knowledge he ordered me a DOUBLE vodka soda. Then when I was done, another one and another one. As much as I drink, I can't seem to build much of a tolerance so three regular vodka sodas would have been plenty for me to hit the discoteque, but I had the equivalent of six. Not okay. As the night progressed, things start to get fuzzy and I know we went down to the discotecque with some friends we made, danced a lot, and drank even more. Eventually after making out with two different dudes (who my brother nicely pointed out to me the next day), my bro apparently had enough of my antics and left me there with my new friends. Thankfully one of the girls walked me to my room. This is where the trouble began. (Btw, this was all told to me the following morning after I woke up on in my bra and underwear on a sheetless bed, with one of the worst hangovers EVER.) My dad came to wake me and my brother up and I told them I needed to sleep longer. I asked what happened last night and they laughed and pointed to a pile of sheets in the corner of the room saturated with vomit. They then filled me in on what happened...
My new had friend walked me up to my room shortly after my bro ditched me (around 2 am-ish). I got into bed and then began throwing up violently like The Exorcist. I was wretching so loudly that my parents heard from across the hall and came over to see what was going on. My mom was hysterical that I was actually this drunk and thought I had alcohol poisoning. My brother threw them out of the room yelling that he would handle this (Thanks!), and tossed me in the the bathtub (while still in my bra and underwear) and put the shower on. (This is where the bruises came from.) He stripped my bed and then tossed me back into bed to sleep it off. When I woke up the next morning, I threw up again the bathroom and obviously not wanting to miss a minute of the Mexican sun, had my mom drag my ass down to breakfast where I couldn't even look at food and made my way to our beach chairs. But not before stopping to throw up again on the beach with my mom holding onto me with a mixture of embarrassment and concern. When I finally made it to the chairs I laid down and closed my eyes. Time to work on my tan, hangover be damned. My dad brought me some food to try to eat and water to drink. I managed to get some of it down, until about 10 minutes later, I turned and threw up right over the edge of my beach chair. I was starting to feel a little better. About an hour later, I tried to eat again and about a half hour after that, turned to the other side of my chair and threw that up. I was improving by the hour. Throwing up in the sand is great because you can just bury it and forget its there. Perfection.
My parents were a bit mortified that their then 28 year-old daughter was so hungover. They were even more concerned that kind of thing happens to me every weekend in NYC. I assured them it didn't and this was quite possibly the drunkest I have ever been which was the truth. My brother was hysterically laughing because he is younger and could handle his liquor better. Whatevs. I learned my lesson. Never let him order me drinks again. That is all. For the rest of vacation I ordered my own drinks and didn't have any other incidents. Mom and dad, I know you are reading this, but need not worry, I do not get like that every weekend so rest assure.
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