Friday, February 17, 2012

A Nice Jewish boy

My mom (and grandma) are always on my case to find myself a nice Jewish boy to take home already. In NYC, its not that hard to find a Jewish guy, but for him to be nice AND good-looking is usually a challenge. It's usually one or the other and they usually go for the more Jappy, high maintenance girls. I don't get it, but whatever. To each their own, but I would like to eventually end up with someone Jewish. And if they aren't Jewish, you better believe my kids will be raised Jewish, but I am digressing a little. Anyway, Jewish boys aren't really my type, but these guys, fellow members of the tribe, have somehow or another grabbed my attention and if they weren't so famous, maybe they'd go for a nice, down-to-earth Jewish girl like myself. 

1. Jason Segal. Pretty tall for a Jew. And I like it. But its Jason's sense of humor that is what makes him so attractive. Not only is he one of the best parts of How I Met Your Mother (along with NPH), but I still remember him from Freaks and Geeks. Additionally, his movie roles continually crack me up. If only the gym teachers at the school I work at were like him in Bad Teacher. I would hold your ball sac any day.

Sidenote: This girl obviously also finds Jason as attractive as I do and even made this awesome video for him. You go girl.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

"The subtext of this text is booty"

As defined by, a booty call is "a phone call, page, or conversation aimed at getting into your pants.  Not an invite to a movie or dinner, not just coffee, not a casual or formal get-together, just a plain old-fashioned 'let's fuck.'' This day in age, a booty call is more like a booty text, but lets not get into semantics here. I mean, really, who even has a pager anymore?

I would like to add to their definition and also define a booty call not as the actual call itself, but the person you are calling. That person becomes your booty call. 

So do you have a booty call? Or more than one booty call? (Or are you someone else's booty call?)  There are just so many questions! What are your booty call rules? If you even have any rules?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Battling Tanorexia

I consider myself lucky in the fact that I do not really have any bad vices. Well maybe one, but its not even that bad. I'll get to it in a second. Vices can be harmful to your health and to your wallet. Many of them are mucho expensivo and have terrible effects on you. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I don't even do caffeine (no coffee, tea, or pop). I drink alcohol, but consider myself to be a textbook binge drinker so its not a "problem" or a habit per se. However, the one vice I have, is tanning. I know its terrible for your health but it just feels so damn good. If its spring or summer and its sunny out, you will find me outside and soaking it in the rays. However, I do wear SPF 50 (minimum) and excessively about reapply. And most recently, I have taken up indoor tanning again. (I hadn't done it since college.) How can something so wrong feel so right?

Monday, February 13, 2012

I wanna learn...

There are many things that I am good at and there are many things that I am awful at. I love learning new things, but patience isn't a trait that I really have so sometimes I have a very hard time learning new things because if I am not good at it from the get-go, I get super frustrated and stop without giving it much of a chance.  In general, I am not a quitter, but I am also not used to being bad at things, so when I am start something and am not immediately good at it, I get irritated.  However, I need to relax a bit and remember that not everything comes naturally and with practice, I can pick up new hobbies and skills if I really put my mind to it. Below is a list of things that I would love to learn how to do in the next few years.

1. How to Knit. I see people on the train knitting from time-to-time and find myself mesmerized by them. I find it to be such a great talent and something I would really love to do because it looks so therapeutic. And you end up with a keepsake or a gift. One of these days I will take a class and maybe even join a knitting circle. Who knows, maybe I can make new friends this way too!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Hmmm...Chi vs. NYC

I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and currently live in New York. People are always asking me which city I love more and I never know how to answer. It's really a toss up. There are really so many things to consider when making this decision. One is the city that I was born and raised in and will always be my home no matter what. I miss it often because it is so great. The other is one that I now consider my home because I have fallen in love with it. In order to try to figure this out a bit, I decided that I was going to look at different aspects of each city and see who has the best to offer. So here we go...

Transportation: New York Wins. In New York, you can take a subway or a bus pretty much anywhere. It's very convenient and also saves me money on car insurance, gas, and parking. (I sold my car before I moved out here.) Chicago is more of a driving city because its so much more spaced out than Manhattan. The L just doesn't go everywhere you need it to in a City as big as the Chi. Many people believe that Manhattan is huge, but its really only like 13 miles long and 2 miles wide. Chicago is enormous. If you really wanted to, you can walk the length and width of Manhattan if you needed to. (I have actually done both on numerous occasions.)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

We need to talk...

We all know these four words: "We need to talk." Hearing those words usually suck. And sometimes having to say those words to someone you care about (male or female) can suck even more. I hate confrontation and having to have a "talk" with someone. It's straight up uncomfortable. I am usually the type of person that will avoid this at all costs and hope that the person I need to have a talk with gets the hint that there is trouble in paradise and will initiate it with me or just kind of disappear. Not the most mature or the healthiest way to deal with a situation, but sometimes that is just easier than having to have the discussion. Ugh. I am 30 years old now and this kind of stuff is still very difficult for me. I obviously need to work more on my communication skills. Noted.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Real Creepsters of Housewives

After making my list of my favorite men of the Real Housewives, I decided that I needed to make a follow-up list of the biggest creepsters of the Real Housewives. These are the men that should not be filmed at all and just plain creep me out. Whenever they come on the screen, I just want reach in and smack them half the time. I wonder what their family members and those close to them really think of them because I certainly do not believe they are just getting a "bad edit."

1. Mario Singer. (New York) Ramona's husband must be a patient man to deal with her crazy eyes and all, but he gives off a definite serial killer vibe. Its this look in his eye and his strange grin that gives me the shivers whenever I see him. He and Ramona live near me, so I have seen them both on more than one occasion and seeing him in person does not clear up this vibe at all. Creep central.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Why can't I picture it?

I am of the age where most of my friends are either married already or getting married very soon. That means that I have been to a few weddings in the last few years. In the last two years, two of my best friends have gotten married and I could not have been happier for them. They both found great men who I have no doubt they will spend the rest of their lives with. (Of course none of these men have men to set me up with, but that's a whole other story.)

Here's the thing with weddings: I tend to cry. And I am not ashamed to admit it, its a pretty normal thing. (I even cried watching Khloe and Lamar get married on their E! special. What is wrong with me?) And to be honest, I am not sure why I cry. I think some of the tears are happy tears for my friends. They have found their soul mates and that is hard to do. But mostly, I think I cry because I am sad for myself. Will this ever happen for me? Will I ever be the one walking down the aisle with my father? I fear I won't be. I can't close my eyes and picture myself doing that. I want to. I try to. But for some reason I can't. Even when I was dating my ex-boyfriend, I couldn't do it. He could, but I could not. And whenever he would bring up the possibility of us getting married, I would totally freak out. This is so not the usual girl response.  Once again, what is wrong with me?

Friday, February 3, 2012

Cliché? As if!

There are many teen movies out there. Some are realistic to a certain degree (Mean Girls, Superbad, American Pie) while others just ride the line of complete ridiculousness (See below). But what is the line that divides these two differentials in teen movies? Well, so glad you asked. First off, its the age of the actors playing the teenagers. Some movies don't even bother getting actors and actresses remotely close to high school age, let alone someone looking like an actual teenage. Also, the wardrobes of these teens often borderline totally inaccurate to what real teens wear to school. Finally, and most obviously, the plot of the movie and the predictableness (is that even a real word?) of it. Would any of this happen in real life? And that's a big fat NO. But that's what makes them so fantastic. Some of my favorite cheesy teen movies are listed below. Honestly, there were so many to choose from, but it was kind of fun making this list.

1. Drive Me Crazy. Not only did this movie feature one of my most favorite Britney songs, it had teen idol Melissa Joan Hart who was more well-known as Clarissa. The popular Nicole (Joan Hart) "shockingly" falls for her loner, but smokin' hot neighbor Chase (Adrian Grenier). They were childhood friends and neighbors who drifted apart once she starting becoming popular. In totally different cliques in high school, they come together again and end up falling for each other. Aw. 

Thursday, February 2, 2012

OMG...Delete. Delete. Delete.

Over the years there has obviously been an increase in technology. So much stuff that I am thankful wasn't around when I was in high school and college because lord knows how much trouble I could have gotten myself into with my stupidity and tendency to rush, especially when drunk. Now with the advent of having smartphones and having the internet literally right at your fingertips every waking moment, there is always the opportunity to embarrass and/or make an ass of yourself. You know those moments when you want to reach out into cyberspace and take back what you just sent? I have experienced this more than I'd like to admit, but its a good thing I am not easily embarrassed.  Below are some funny experiences I or a friend have had using our phones where we literally wanted to scream because of mortification that we just caused ourselves by rushing, not thinking, and pressing send way too fast. Hey, it happens to the best of us.

1. Texting the wrong person. This isn't a huge deal and has probably happened to quite a few people. Multiple times. I have done it tons of times, usually over stupid things. However, when you are texting a friend about someone else and accidentally text that "someone else," this becomes a problem.  A short time ago, I had gone out with some friends and drank a little too much. Okay, a lot too much. I ended up making out with two different guys that night (be real proud mom. Ha!). My second make-out of the evening texted me in the morning to ask how I was feeling. He also must have noticed that I had been pretty drunk when we parted. I honestly didn't expect to, or care to hear from him again, but was nonetheless surprised to hear from him the very next day. Apparently I made quite the first impression, natch. Later that day, I went on to text one of my friends who was out with me the night before. At least I thought that was who I was texting when I nonchalantly typed "Makeout #2 texted me this morn to see how I was feeling. Guess I was pretty out of control last night." However, after sending the text, I realized that I did not text my friend, but texted the guy. As soon as I realized this I started freaking out. After shouting an "OMG" to no one imparticular on the street, I followed it up by an "Oooops, ignore me" text to this very gentleman which was followed up by him with an "LOL." Good thing I don't plan on talking to/seeing this guy again. And good thing he took it lightly or was just too dumb to realize he was makeout number TWO. Sucka.

I have also been on the receiving end of this error with a guy I had liked a lot. I was happy to see that I was getting a text from him until I realized he was meaning to write to someone else about ME. Once I got the text I thought about not replying at all but decided to follow it up with "That obviously wasn't for me, but about me" I was met with an "Oh shit" from him and many apologies. He was obviously embarrassed and it wasn't even a bad text. Thankfully.  It was a funny story about the weekend's previous events (not suitable to discuss here since my parents read this!), so I could laugh about it as well. It was def the icing on the cake of a "did that really just happen to me?" story.