We need to talk...

We all know these four words: "We need to talk." Hearing those words usually suck. And sometimes having to say those words to someone you care about (male or female) can suck even more. I hate confrontation and having to have a "talk" with someone. It's straight up uncomfortable. I am usually the type of person that will avoid this at all costs and hope that the person I need to have a talk with gets the hint that there is trouble in paradise and will initiate it with me or just kind of disappear. Not the most mature or the healthiest way to deal with a situation, but sometimes that is just easier than having to have the discussion. Ugh. I am 30 years old now and this kind of stuff is still very difficult for me. I obviously need to work more on my communication skills. Noted.

You might be thinking "Hey, why don't you send that person an email or a text about what you need to talk about?" But I just find this to be so impersonal. If I really want to deal with a situation it needs to be face-to-face, or at the very least over the phone.  Voices and tone need to be heard. Also, with texts and emails, there is always a paper trail and that person could then show others what was written. Not cool. (But yes, I am sure many of us, myself included, have done that.)

So why don't I like having to talk it out with someone? Well, I have this really bad habit of no matter what, when I have to have an important face-to-face convo with someone, I will start crying. Its usually the anxiety and nervousness of just having to have this talk that will set me off, not even the issue at hand. Also, most likely by the time this talk usually happens, my frustration level with this person has reached an all-time high. Not fun. So what's a girl to do? I guess what I really need to do, if I do want to maintain my relationship with this person, which sometimes is not even the case, is man up and inform them that we have to sit down and discuss what's going on. If something is bothering me I need to either let that person know (because they might not think anything of it) or drop it. They aren't mind readers and may not even know anything is bothering me. That's usually not the case, but if it is, I need to verbalize what the issue is if I want to solve anything. Basically, I need to grow up. Plus, even though I really hate having these discussions, I actually do want the person to know what they did/are doing wrong that is aggravating me.

Writing this out has been a little helpful but its very much "easier said than done." I really should take my own advice and just let out whats bothering me if I want the situation/relationship to improve. Otherwise it will keep eating at me. I need to let it go or talk it out. Once I make that decision, things will be less stressful. So, I guess that means, I need to be a grown-up and make it happen. That is what 30 year olds do, right?