Friday, December 30, 2011


The new year is upon us and as one of the most overrated and overhyped holidays (in my opinion) is about to ascend, we must decide what we are going to do for the big night. There is so much involved in this decision and it can be very stressful. What am I going to do? How much money do I want to spend? What am I going to wear? And most importantly, who I am going to make-out with at the stroke of midnight?

There is always so much hype for NYE when all it really is is just another night out with added pressure to have a good time. And who wants that pressure? No one. But most of us succumb to it anyway. So on this New Year, there are a few options that are tried and true.Whether you have decided well in advance what you are going to do or are just gonna wait until the last minute, there are always a few ways you can go.

1) Stay in. The cheapest of them all. And you won't end up with hangover the next morning. Always a plus. Curl up on the couch in your sweats with a movie or two, or even a good book. Head to bed around 10ish and wake up in the morning with all your missed "Happy New Year" texts and no regrets. I have done this a few times and actually really enjoyed it. I have zero qualms about staying in. 

2) Go to a party at someone's house/apt. In my opinion, this is one of the best options if you want to go out and actually be social. Assuming the party is being held by a friend or a friend of a friend, you will know some people there and have the opportunity to meet some new people there as well. Additionally, you won't be paying a fortune. And because you are in someone's home, you can all watch the ball drop on TV. Just don't drink and drive, so plan accordingly.

3) Go on vacation. Get out of the cold and go somewhere tropical. My family used to go away for Christmas and New Years when I was younger and we did it again last year which made me forget how nice it is to be away. It's always fantastic to be dressed up to party at a resort with all-you-can-drink alcohol and a late-night buffet, all while being tan and not having to wear tights or a coat with your dress. And hey, you aren't in your state/country so feel free to live it up even more. What happens in _______, stays in _______. Amiright?

4) Go to one of those $100-200 open bar deals at a bar. This is something that everyone should do once to get it out of their systems. I did it one time that was enough for me. My first legal drinking New Years I bought one of those deals with some friends downtown in Chicago. From what I remember from that evening I had a good time, but those kind of events can be annoying because you go to a bar that you might frequent often but are paying like five times as much simply because its New Years. Is it really worth it? One time it is; so you know you don't have to do it again.

Whatever you do this year, make sure it's what you want to do and you aren't suckered into it. You want to ring in the New Year stress and drama free and have a good time doing it. Remember that 12:01 is officially the New Year so start it off right and have no regrets moving forward. Happy and Healthy everyone.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

You don't know what you're missing!

As the year comes to a close and a lot of shows are in re-runs right now, there is no better time to catch up on some shows you may have missed this fall (or even last spring) and want to catch up on before they start again. I have said many-a-times that I watch a lot of TV shows and am shameless about some of the trash I watch. However, I do watch a variety of shows: comedy, drama, reality, etc... I have very eclectic taste. But good taste. When new shows premiere, I will usually give them an episode or two as a try-out and if they can't keep my attention, I drop them. I always like when I am pleasantly surprised by a new show; whether it cracks me up or keeps me in such suspense I am on the edge of my seat. There are also very few shows I feel the need to watch that very evening and sometimes even...dare I say With commercials and all. They are that good that I don't want to wait until the next day to watch. That is rare, but it has happened. Below are what I think are the top 5 shows that premiered this year (Jan-Dec) that I think everyone should be watching in 2012.

1. Revenge (ABC, Wed 10 EST) By far the best new show on TV this year. I can't recommend it enough. I enjoy this show so much that I watch it live almost every Wednesday if I can. And each time it ends, I cannot wait until the next week. It's one of those shows that you almost don't want to watch so you can save up a bunch of episodes and watch them all at once without interruption. That good. Plus the scenery of the Hamptons, the wardrobe, and the eye-candy don't hurt either.
2. After Lately (E!, Sun 11 EST). I don't watch Chelsea Lately even though I find Chelsea hilarious and feel we'd be best friends. I just don't have time to watch it every single night. After Lately is a reality-based sitcom loosely based on the behind the scenes antics that happen at the Chelsea Lately offices. This show actually makes me laugh out loud which is very rare for me. Her cast of writers is brillz and they all feed off each other so well. I also love the fact that Chelsea wears workout clothes in almost every scene. Man, we would be BFF's.
3. Happy Endings (ABC, Wed 9 EST). This show is about a group of six 20-something friends living in Chicago and all their shenanigans. Kind of like a new take on Friends. Kind of. Its quick witted and humorous with relevant topics. As much as I like this show, the one thing that bugs me is that it is so NOT filmed in Chicago and its like they don't even make an effort to make it look like they do. The character Max does however, have a great Chicago accent which I do appreciate. Also, in my opinion, the star of the show is Penny who is the "single girl" worried she will never find a man. Um...relatable? I think, yes.
4. Teen Mom 2 (MTV, Tues 10 EST). After the first batch of Teen Moms was so successful, I wasn't so sure MTV would be able to strike gold twice, but I will admit that I was wrong. This whole new crew, now on their second season this year, brings the drama every week. Leah, Janelle, Kailyn, and Chelsea all have issues of their own, some that can be followed in the tabloids, and some new ones that are revealed on the show. One thing is for sure, this show serves as good birth control for me. Let's just hope it does for the teenagers that also watch. Yipes.
5. Switched at Birth (ABC Family, Tues 8 EST). I am a sucker for ABC Family original series and movies. I was a little upset when Huge was canceled, but ABC Family redeemed itself with this one. The title pretty sums up the series as it is about two girls that were switched at birth and how their families are now trying to co-exist together and make a transition into welcoming each other into their lives. One of the daughters is also hard-of-hearing which makes for extra dramatics. The actress who plays her does a phenomenal job, as do all the other actors that use sign language in the show. Well done.
If you have Netflix, I highly recommend putting one, if not all of these, on your queue. Or go on the network website to see if you can watch. Or catch a marathon on TV if its on. It will soooo be worth it. You honestly don't know what you are missing.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but give them a whirl. They will not disappoint. Trust me. If you have time, get watching on these final days of winter break or hunker down one cold weekend and start. With new eps starting again soon, you will thank me.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

RIP Reggie

I was never a dog person. Ever. I am still not a dog person. When I was younger, I was kind of attacked by a dog and it traumatized me greatly. When I say attacked, I mean a very large dog of a family friend jumped on top of me and I freaked out and never forgot the fear that I felt at that moment. This created a fear of dogs that lasted up until about middle school and just became a dislike for dogs later on in life (not to mention the fact that I was super allergic to many dogs as well which I obvi used as an excuse to mask my fear/dislike). However, the fact that I really wasn't fond of dogs did not stop my parents from getting a dog when I was a sophomore in high school.  My brother had wanted one forever, and they finally got him one. A Wheaton Terrier we named Reggie. I was so upset that they got a dog for real that I hid out in my room for about a week. That's right, I was 16 years old and hid from a little puppy. I ate all my meals in there with the door closed. I mean, really? What did I think I was accomplishing? I also even pretended that I was allergic to Reggie (mind you, he was hypoallergenic). I faked sneezed and excessively blew my nose for a good couple days even though my parents never bought it. I couldn't believe they were actually keeping Reggie even though I held my ground. After avoiding Reggie for about two weeks I finally embraced this little bundle of fur. Even I couldn't argue how freaking adorable he was. As annoying as his constant barking was, and the fact he was not yet potty trained, I began to love him. I fought the urge as long as I could as to not make my initial stand against him looked ridiculous. But it was ridiculous and my family still makes fun of me today for my immature behavior. Especially since I have grown to love Reggie so so much.

Rewind to almost 14 years later, Reggie is old. He is not his old spunky, spry self. Still as adorable as ever, Reggie is just not who he use to be. The time finally came where we had to decide if he needed to be put down. His health had deteriorated and he just wasn't the same dog anymore. As someone who is fortunate enough to have gone through little loss in life, I am not totally equipped to handle situations like this. I was obviously inconsolable. I went from the girl that didn't want the dog, to the girl who couldn't handle losing the dog. I mean, a sobbing mess. My, how times have changed.

Over the last few days as Reggie's health really took a turn for the worst, we remembered some of the great times with him....
The time he ate my inhaler and I noticed his chest was beating really, really fast and he had to be rushed to the ER....
Or the time that he decided to go on a little adventure after a big snowstorm around the neighborhood and some random people found him and brought him home...
Or the fact that he never learned how to play fetch. We'd throw the ball, he'd run and get it and bring it back, but then would never let go...
Or the fact that we'd mention the word "car ride" and he'd run to the garage door ready for an adventure even though we used it against him many times...
Or the time he pooped on the putting green in the basement because he thought it was real grass...
And even the time that I was playing with him in the backyard and after stepping on a nail, sat down to get it out, not realizing I sat in a big pile of his poop. When I got up and realized something was on my shorts, I of course, smelled it, and then started screaming, crying, dry-heaving, and finally laughing at the gross ridiculousness that just occurred. Oh, did I mention I didn't have underwear under my shorts so I just couldn't take them off right away? Yeah, I know he was laughing inside during that one along with everyone else.

There were so many things that Reggie did that we will never forget. He was our only family pet and we had him about half my and my brother's life so he was obviously a big part of it. Even though I haven't lived at "home" for years, I still considered Reggie my dog. He was just another part of my family that I was excited to see whenever I visited.

Reggie, even though I fought your presence at first, you changed me. You didn't quite make me a dog person. Not even close. But you made me love YOU. And you loved me back. No matter what. I don't know if I can emotionally handle ever getting a dog again because of the pain of losing you, but if I do, it will be another spunky Wheaton like yourself. RIP Reggie. We will miss you.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

29 going on 4...

I am turning 30 very soon and it constantly makes me think how old I am. Ugh. However, there are many habits that I have that actually make me feel quite young. Almost too young though. How young you ask? Well about 4 years old. You see, I have three habits that my friends and family make fun of me about because they are not those of a late-twenty year old, or any adult of any age. These are habits that I guess I never really grew out of. I don't see them as odd habits. In fact, they often define me and people who I am not close with often find these out pretty quickly. My close friends and family know about them already and although sometimes make fun of me about them (and sometimes get irritated by them), understand that if I when I don't get my way regarding these, I can become a raging, crying bitch.

So, what are my toddler habits?
1) I go to bed extremely early. On a weeknight, if I am not asleep by 9:30-10:00, I get very frustrated and upset. I am usually in bed and watching TV by 8, so I can relax a bit before I actually hit the hay. If I fall asleep after 10:30 I am not a happy camper the following morning. On nights when I go out and happen to stay up super late (hello 3 am!), it will ruin my sleep cycle the entire week unless I make up for it (i.e going to bed at like 7 the next night which I have been known to do on many occasions.) It sucks even more because I am not a napper. This childhood gift never stuck with me and I am not someone who can just lay down to take a nap. I so wish I could though. I am super envious of those people that can. But I know myself enough to go to bed early and although I get made fun of, most of my friends respect it and are even a little jealous of it sometimes.

2) I get cranky if I don't eat every few hours.  I love to eat. I love food. I also know that it fuels my body. For someone as active as I am, food is very necessary. If I don't eat something every 2-3 hours I get very cranky. I also get a headache and can get very snippy. My mom and I like to call it "being hangry." Hungry-angry. Get it? Get it? I am not a pleasant person to be around if I am hungry. I will bitch, moan, and complain until I get a snack. I am not proud of this, but I can't help it; it's not fun being light-headed and hungry.

Additionally, I also eat dinner early. This may age me to be about 65, but I usually eat dinner at like 5:30-6:00. To some, especially in NYC, that is "Early Bird" early, but since I go to bed so early, I like it like that. Since my friends eat dinner at a normal time, if we go out to eat, I usually have to have what we call a little "pre-dinner" so I can make it to the meal. When I go to Florida and visit my grandparents, they eat dinner at like 8:00 and I am miserable waiting to eat that late. Because they know I get hangry, they make sure I have a big snack in the late afternoon to tide me over and keep me nice.

3) I have to pee ALL the time. And yes, I have been tested for diabetes. Many time. I don't have it. And yes, I have actually tried the "Gotta go...Gotta go...Gotta go right now" medicine. It didn't work. It seems I just drink an obscene about of water and it goes right through me. And I don't even touch caffeine because of its diuretic effect on my bladder. Good thing I am naturally perky (must be all that sleep!) that I don't need it. And lets not even discuss my urination habits when I am drink beer because its plain embarrassing. It becomes an issue once I break that seal for the first time. But hey, its part of my charm.

One plus of having a pea-sized bladder, is that I know many of the clean places to pee all over the city. I have no shame walking into a bar, restaurant, hotel, etc... and pretending I am eating/staying there and walk right to where I believe the bathroom is. If it's not where I think it is, I ask. Most people think Starbucks are good places to pee. I try to avoid those since a lot of homeless people use it to "shower" or shoot up. I have, however, had to pee so bad one time (in 2004), I went in a Starbucks that had a line 6 people long and started to cry because I had to pee so bad and they let me go ahead of everyone.  They probably thought I was nuts and if I'd cry over having to go to the bathroom, I might be capable of doing something strange in my time of need, but I had to go that bad.

Overall, these child-like habits aren't as bad as others that I could have stuck with but they still sometimes can be annoying to myself and my friends and family. I know my body enough to try not to make them an issue and most people close to me know of my needs. They know not to call past 10, they know to ask if I need a snack, and they know to ask me if I have to pee before we leave to go somewhere. As I get older, I have already accepted these things about myself a long time ago and decided that instead of changing them (because that won't happen), I just need to be more flexible.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Going Home

The holidays are a time when people spend time with their families. Many of us return to our parents houses to celebrate, visit, and hopefully relax. Most of the time it's the house we grew up in, but sometimes our parents have moved out and live somewhere completely different. So even though you may say you are going "home," is that really still your home? Is your home the place where you grew up? Is home just the place where your family is located now? Or is home where you are currently living?

By now, many people my age have their own places.  Whether its an apartment or a house (my real "grown-up" friends have houses already), they have a home that they lay their heads every night. Is that that what you consider your home? If so, when you go to your parents' house, do you still call it home? I certainly do. And I don't think that will ever change. (Unless of course my parents move. Which btw, better not happen unless its a second home in a warm locale. Hint, hint mom and dad. But the house I grew up in better always be my home and it is actually a dream of mine to raise my kids in that house.) 

There's something about going home that just feels right. The beep from the alarm when I immediately open the door. The smell of my house. The dog coming up to me with that look of "I know you. Where have you been for so long?" And then all the hugging and kissing hello that will happen again even though we did it at the airport. Gosh, I love going home.

After all this, I will then go upstairs to my bedroom. It is basically unchanged since I left for college over 11 years ago. This is where I will once again notice that my childhood bedroom is the same size, if not a little bigger, than my entire apartment in NYC and laugh to myself at this sorry indifference. I will look around to double check that my mom has not changed anything without my permission (or as she calls it: decluttering. Ugh).  My "Wall of Fame"/"Shrine to Myself" is still up with all my trophies, medals, plaques, team pictures even though I know it drives my mom insane. My bulletin board still has everything on it. And all my tchotchkes (troll dolls included!) are still in their respective places. Phew. It's as if I was transformed back to the year 2000 and I love every second of it. After all, when I come home, I like to pretend I am young again: laying in bed with mom and dad, going family grocery shopping on Sundays, and not having to open my wallet when I go clothes shopping with my mom. I will never be too old for any of these things. Ever.

As much as I love having my own life away from home, I miss it sometimes. I miss some of the comforts of suburbia and I miss the close proximity to my family. (Talking on the phone like five times a day just isn't the same as being there.) However, the fact that I left the nest, so to speak, and left Chicago to take on something different is something I am very proud of. I mean, I live in freaking New York City, and I am thriving there if I do say so myself. Despite all this, its always good to go home now and again, sleep in my own bed, and be taken care of as if I never left. This will never get old and as long as my house is always my home, some things will never change.

Friday, December 23, 2011


Christmas Blue Balls. Booyah.
With Hannukah in full swing and Christmas right around the corner, its only obvious that the only thing on my mind is balls. I mean, when aren't balls on my mind? If you are an SNL fan like myself, balls and Christmas are synonymous with each other. Schweddy Balls that is! And I am not talking about the new Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor. I am talking about Bill Schweddy's famous balls that first made their debut in 1998 on SNL's "Delicious Dish" skit with Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon. On  this special holiday episode they had SNL hosting legend Alec Baldwin as Pete Schweddy.  Since holiday time is, (according to the ladies), where many culinary wishes can come true, they had Pete talk about his own holiday bakery, Season's Eatings. And since it is holiday season, Pete's loves to take out his balls this time of year. One of Pete's specialty's are his old family recipe, Schweddy Balls. So right then and there, Pete whipped out his big, beautiful, tender balls. If you haven't seen this hilarious episode before, it certainly is a classic. There are puns-a-plenty with tons of sexual innuendo. And we can't ignore the ladies' wardrobe as well. The fact that these women and Alec kept a straight face the entire episode just shows what professionals they are.
 (For the full video, click HERE. But since this skit was supposed to be on NPR, maybe the audio was enough. Still hilarious!)

I really just want to wrap my mouth around a Schweddy Ball. Right now. Mmmmm...balls. With that being said, have a Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Merry Christmas. And please leave Santa something more than tap water and rice.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Should I have called in sick?

There are just some times when you don't want to go to work. Maybe you were out too late drinking last night? Maybe you were all up all night having sex? Maybe you just don't feel well? Or maybe you just need a mental health day? Whatever it is, sometimes you go into work against your better judgement when you just should have called in sick. On those days, you do the professional thing and show up because you don't want to screw anyone else over. However, sometimes, things are so bad you just should have stayed home because your productivity level might be at a low and your anxiety level might be at a high. Below are some of the days when I just should have called in sick...

1) Take Your Hangover to Work Day. An expected or unexpected night of drinking on a weeknight can be dangerous. What might have been a night of "yeah, I'll just have a drink or two" turns into "WTF happened last night and how did I even get home? And why is there vomit on my bathroom wall?" does not make for a good morning. These are the days that I am too embarrassed for myself to call in sick because I should know better by now than to get so drunk on a school night. Yet I occasionally do it. I deserve the misery that I am feeling at this moment. The exhaustion, nausea, headache, etc... are all my own fault. So I will suck it up, get up, treat myself a greasy breakfast and a Gatorade without any guilt and will this stupid hangover away. It usually lasts until about lunchtime and then I am okay because I have to be. I just have to. I can't let my teenage students know I am hungover. Unacceptable. So I will it away. Sometimes I think its better to just get going with the day even though I am miserable because otherwise I will sit home and bask in my hungover-ness all day. At work, at least I won't feel as worthless and irresponsible.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

"Shit" is funny

A new trend in viral videos has hit the web and they are, in a word: Hilarious. It all started with a Twitter account @shitgirlssay that became so popular that the writers decided to create a web series with the ever so clever name "Shit Girls Say." You must live in a bubble if you haven't seen this video yet because it was all over the place last week and guess what, I couldn't stop watching it. Over and over again. And every single time I saw it, I laughed out loud. It's just so spot-on, you can't help but see a little bit of yourself somewhere in this video. I mean, how many times have we said these things and acted this way? It's so wrong, its right.
This video became such a hit that many parodies were instantly created. Some of them were pretty fantastic as well and had me rolling. These include:

"Shit Gays Say" I didn't need this video to tell me that many things gay guys say could easily come out of my mouth at any given moment. "Ex-squeeze me" but this is pretty damn funny.
"Shit Black Girls Say" Once again, even though I am a white girl, I easily have said 90% of these things. "Beeetch", you know its true. And if you don't find it funny, you can "Pack your Playstation and get out." Amaze.
 And the newest addition "Shit Girls Say-Episode 2".  Might be funnier than the first. Can't. Stop. Watching. And laughing.

 These are "So good, right?" Obviously made to poke fun at everyone equally, they really magnify stereotypes we make. And give humor to them. And funny as these are, they (all of them!!) do make me stop and think "Gee, do I really sound like this?" And unfortunately, I think the answer may be yes. And do I care? Nope.

Stuck in my Own Head

Have you ever had that feeling where you walk into a room and feel that everyone is staring at you? Do you feel they are looking at you because you are simply stunning? Because your ass looks absolutely fabulous in those pants? Because you have that giant zit on your face? Or is it because you feel that all eyes are on you because you are the ugliest, fattest chick in the room? I am sad to say that I get the ladder feeling quite often. I know a lot of it is in my head, and that everyone else is so caught up with themselves that they don't give a shit about me, but sometimes this feeling paralyzes me.

The last few weeks I have been having this feeling and I am finally just starting to get over it. I am not at my heaviest weight by any means at all, which usually sets this off, but I still just don't feel like myself. I truly believe the reason behind these feelings are because I haven't really been able to workout lately because of the recovery of my broken foot and the subsequent injury of a different part of it. You don't realize how big a part exercise plays in your life until its really taken away from you. I am not myself (physically AND mentally) without being able to workout. Sounds nuts, right? But its the truth. I am finally getting back in a routine again and I know that this is improving my social situation. Because I am not totally back on track yet, it's been really hard to get myself to go out to bars and parties because of this awful feeling in my head. And to make things more difficult, its not something that is easy to explain to those that I am close to. It's kind of embarrassing. When I try to explain to some of my friends why I am staying in, they just don't get it.  As someone who use to go out multiple times a week and now nothing, its very difficult to explain what's different. Try explaining to your skinny/pretty friend (or even your skinny/pretty mother) that you are so uncomfortable going out because you feel so fat/ugly/uncomfortable in your own skin and get met with a confused response. They just don't get it. And its too hard to explain without crying. (And yes, I know I should see a therapist about this.)

To me, when I feel like this, there is just too much pressure and anxiety in social situations so I just don't put myself in them. Situations where I am not feeling confident in myself and know that if I do go out, will end in tears. I will be in a crowded bar or party and get these feelings where it takes so much in me from crying that I have to excuse myself before it actually happens. I have been in bars before and I literally had to leave and go home so I didn't burst into tears right then and there. This has happened before, but thankfully not in years.  To be in that sensitive and emotional place in my head is not any fun at all. I get very self-conscious and unsure of myself and the negative feelings start to spiral out of control. They get even worse if I am out and a guy comes up and starts talking to/flirting with me. One would think this would help me feel better about myself, but that's not the case. If a guy does happen to talk to me while out, in my head it's because of a dare or a joke. He must have lost a bet where he has to go up and talk to the DUFF (designated, ugly, fat, didn't anyone watch Average Joe years ago?). Why else would he talk to me? There are tons of other skinny, beautiful girls in this bar, why are they talking to me? Why are they interested in me when there are so many better options right under their nose? I am utterly confused by this and just makes me feel worse. Ugh.

I am happy to say that I am finally getting back to myself and getting out of my funk. However, I have actually been really enjoying staying in and its a really easy habit to get used to. Laying low, watching movies, and going to bed early is so refreshing, especially as the weather has turned colder. Because I am usually out and about all day during the weekends, I don't mind just coming home and relaxing the rest of the night. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything at night and I know I will wake up renewed and hangover-free the next morning. As things start to look on the bright side again for me mentally and physically and I begin to morph back into my confident, happy-go-lucky self again, I can only hope I will be able to walk into a bar or a party and hope that all eyes are on me for the positive. Until then, I just need to do the things that make me happy and comfortable: staying in, waking up early, and hitting the gym. The rest will fall back into place.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Jersey Chasing

A jersey chaser is someone who often is attracted to and goes after athletes romantically. Kim Kardashian would be a fine example of this. And perhaps some of the women on VH1's Basketball Wives and Baseball Wives. Some of these women actually married the athletes, some were engaged to them, some are simply baby mamas, and some just dated the guys. Regardless who they are, these women have one thing in common with me: We are attracted to athletes. I however, am not in it for the money. I am not saying all of these women are gold diggers, but some of them go for the athletes for their bank accounts. I on the other hand, love their bodies and their athletic ability. The bank accounts of the professional athletes just happen to be a bonus if you snag one. To me, their athleticism is so sexy and even the ugliest player who has such fantastic talents, especially on the basketball court or football field, becomes attractive. I don't know what it is about them. Maybe its the pheromones they emit when they sweat that draws me in. Mmmmm.

I have always been attracted to the athletes for as long as I can remember. Part of it is because that sports, playing and watching, were and are such a big part of my life. But I think the fact that many athletes usually have ridiculously smokin' bodies helps.

I know I will never land an professional athlete, and I am totally okay with that because they would probably cheat on me anyway. I mean, how many professional athletes are actually faithful to their wives. Paging Kobe. Paging Tiger. I couldn't deal with that. With all the road trips, groupies, and temptation, who could really blame them? Disgusting yes, but they have their pick of the litter every single night. You'd think they'd have self-control and/or a conscience, but most of them have been handed so many things their whole life, have never heard "No," and rarely received consequences for their actions because of their phenomenal talents. They often feel almost invincible.

Lets say that we lived in a magical world where I could actually land myself a professional athlete and I could have my pick at some of the world's most talented and attractice, who would I date? Well take a lookey...

1) Reggie Bush. I know he is Kimmy's sloppy seconds, but she does have good taste in men. I'll give her that one. He is straight up gorge.

 2) Chad Ochocinco. The man is certifiably insane, but is sexy as hell. He is pretty immature but has a good sense of humor and a great sense of style.
3) Braylon Edwards. Um, hello sexy. Look into the camera. Dayum. Your looks make me forgive you for going to Michigan.
4) Cam Newton. Well hi there Rookie. Welcome to the big leagues. Cam can def hang with the big boys in the looks department. Smokin' hot.
5) Derrick Rose. I can't forget my hometown hottie, Chicago Bull D. Rose. The NBA's current MVP is one fine lookin' dude. He has very unique eyes and the tats are sexy as hell.

The usual studs of David Beckham, Jason Taylor, and Derek Jeter didn't make my list. They just don't do it for me. And hotties Tom Brady and Mark Sanchez are okay in my book. I wouldn't kick either one of them out of out of bed, but you can tell I certainly have a type. Even though a man in uniform is so attractive and makes someone instantly hotter, when these guys get in their street clothes or GQ it up, they are simply en fuego. Obviously, even if I actually lived in a dream world and was dating one of them, I would be so insecure that they were cheating on me, I would become insane. I am better off this way. I'll stick with the amateurs. And laugh at the stupidity of these professional athletes' wives who are so shocked when they find out their husband has cheated on them. Hope you didn't sign a pre-nup ladies.

Friday, December 16, 2011

'Tis the Season

'Tis the season of holiday music. And I am a fan of it. I mean, who isn't? Right? While some people cringe when they hear Christmas music on the radio, especially before Thanksgiving, I get kind of excited. There are a few holiday songs that I can listen to over and over again, and even have on my iPod. When I have it on shuffle, and they come on at a random time during the year, I still listen to them. Most of these songs aren't exactly classics but they get me excited for the the holidays and give me thoughts of sitting around in my sweats on my parent's couch and just relaxing. Aaaahh. In no particular order, below are five of my favorite songs of the holidays.

1. Mariah Carey,"All I want for Christmas" I could listen to this song all year long. Mariah has a killer voice and this song reminds me of when she was a star and not so cray-cray.
2. Britney Spears ,"My Only Wish"  Not only is she my girl-crush, but girl can rock a Christmas song like no one else. I heart you Brit Brit.

3. N'Sync "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" These boys know how to churn out hits, and this is no exception. They even say Happy Holidays so they are technically talking about all holidays this time of year, not just Christmas. Am I right or what? Ha, who are we kidding. But whatever it is, thanks for being semi-inclusive gentlemen.

4. Adam Sandler, "The Hannukah Song." Finally a song for the Jews. About Jews. By a Jew. Even though I am not a huge Sandler fan, I do enjoy this ditty.

5. SNL "Carol of Intimacy"This song comes from an SNL skit many, many years ago and is a spoof of a real Christmas song that I really enjoy. It just makes me laugh out loud too because whenever I hear the real version I think of Dana Carvery and never sing the real words.
Once again, these are obviously not "Classic" holiday songs, but these are the ones that put me in the best mood around holiday time.  Everyone has their favorites and these are mine. They instantly can bring a smile to my face and extra skip in my step in a very hectic and stressful time of year. 

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Making friends is hard to do

In a city as big as New York, you would think it would be easy to make friends right away because there are so many options to choose from. As a female adult, it can be difficult making other female friends because the opportunities to meet new people aren't like they use to be. You work with the same people every day. It's not like you have classes or clubs to really join like you did in high school or college. You can play in urban young-professional sports leagues, take some kind of cooking/sewing lesson or class, join a book club, etc...but these can be expensive and don't always yield results. Or if you do happen to participate in one of these things and become friendly with some girl(s) you don't really keep in touch after they end. You swear you'll will, but never do. Very common happening.

The most common way I have made some new friends is through other friends. You meet a girl, usually a friend of a friend at a party, a bar, some sort of social outing together and you start talking with this girl. You guys seem to have a lot in common (besides your mutual friend) and are kind of hitting it off. You are talking about cute guys, judging some of the other girls around you, or even just bonding over the fact that you are getting hammered together. Usually in your drunkenness you exchange numbers and swear you will "hang out next weekend for sure." This sounds like its a happens all the time, right? But then you don't text her right away for fear of being a stalker/creeper and she doesn't text you right away for fear of the same thing. However, you really would like to hang out again and potentially become friends. So what do you do? Without coming on too strong and looking like you want more than a friendly relationship with this person can be tricky.  But if everything works out well, you could end up with a brand new friend.

This has happened to me a few times in the past year. I have made some new good friends this way and now we joke about how we were "courting" each other and how awkward it can be to make female friends. My other friends make fun of me too sometimes because girls tend to "pick me up" when I go out. I can't help it if people are just drawn to me and want more. Duh. But seriously, I have hung out with friends of friends at parties or bars and we exchanged numbers and said we are "totally gonna call each other" but then neither of us did. Did we just enjoy hanging out because everyone else there was lame? Were we just trying to be polite? Prob not, we aren't loser-guys after all. We actually enjoyed each others company at that time and thought it would be fun to hang out again. But the next move is the trickiest. If seems cool and like she would be fun to hang with again or fit in with your circle of friends already, just text her to see what she's up to that weekend. No one ever wants to make the first move, but obviously one of you has to. Who is going to send the first text? And what do you write? It can be weird. But once you do it, you might end up with a good friend. Go out for drinks or go to another party together. If there is too much time between when you meet and when you first contact each other that can be weird too, so don't let that happen. So, if you meet a cool girl at a party and want to hang out again, don't worry, its not creepy. She'll know you aren't hitting on her. Ask for her number so you can hang out again and just make the move. Who knows, she could end up being one of your closest friends a few months from now.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Why do I continue to watch?

We all know that I love reality TV and watch a lot of it. However, when the reality TV stars become tabloid fodder, it can take away some of the surprises and excitement that happen on the show. I could never understand why these shows continue to tease viewers with storylines that we already know the endings to. For example, Snooki's arrest on Jersey Shore last summer. Yes, I was excited to see it go down, but I knew exactly what was going to happen because I had read about it a thousand times online and in magazines. It kind of made it a snooze. And for this upcoming season I know Vinny leaves to go home mid-season so don't tease with a "will he or won't he?" So annoying. Even though I watch this show, I am not that big of a moron.

This type of thing happens quite often and no other shows makes me feel like I am a bigger idiot than any of the Kardashian shows on E! I only feel like an idiot because I continue to watch even though I know what is going to happen. I also know that the show is so fake and contrived. Since the Kardashians are in almost pretty much every single tabloid pretty much every week and they have diarrhea of the mouth when it comes to talking about themselves, little to nothing is private.

This brings me to this Sunday's episode of Kourtney and Kim Take New York. It was the third episode of the season and of course I can't get enough of this garbage so I tune in each week. The first episode aired three weeks ago and began with all the divorce headlines. It then rewound to eight weeks earlier when filming began and the couple was in newly "wedded bliss." Yes I know E!'s goal for the viewers is to want to watch this marriage unravel, but cut the bullshit. Don't tease us with things we already know the answers to. Anyway, this week's episode bothered me more than usual for some reason and this is why:
Kim without and with make-up
1) Kim wearing a full face of make-up. All. The. Time. I mean, seriously? I know this isn't anything new and I should be use to it by now, but this week had Kim in her pj's and in the bathtub; each time in an absolute FULL face of make-up. Girl was in foundation, fake-eyelashes, bright lipstick, everything to the max. So unnecessary. S0 phony. Who takes a bath with a full face of make-up? Isn't the point to get clean? Is she that insecure with her face makeupless that she won't show it on camera? She is a pretty girl but if this show is as "real" as she always defends it to be, why can't she just be real herself?

2) Kim going off birth control. Will they or won't they get preggers? Gosh, I am on the seat of my pants today wondering about this one. Ugh. The jig is up. You are getting divorced with no child on the way. We all know this. No one is going to believe that they are going to get pregnant so who really cares that she is going to go off birth control and are deciding if they want kids right away. There is no anticipation on this end. They should have just cut this storyline out because we all know how it ended. No baby Humphries is on the way and many court dates are in the future.
3) Kourtney being disgusted by finding porn on Scott's computer. She then goes running to Kim to show her what she found and of course Kim is repulsed too. Isn't it weird that Kim would look at computer porn and say how gross it is knowing she became famous because of a sex tape-turned- porno? (Sidenote: I wonder if Scott ever got off watching Kim's tape? GROSS! Think that's ever crossed Kourtney's mind?) Kim's tape wasn't necessarily meant to become a porn, but it became one. And a very famous one at that. She is so frickin' prissy and acts like she is above it all. But Kimmy, thank your lucky stars that people like porn because you wouldn't be who you are without it. And if you don't know what that is, let me a remind you: its a talentless, personality-less, big-assed, boring, vapid moron. But hey, I guess I am the bigger moron for tuning in each week. Whatevs.

Additionally, are we supposed to believe that Scott and Kourtney really weren't having any sex while in NY? (And kinda grossed out to the fact that he discussed this with Kris Jenner over fish tacos. (Ironic, no? Get it? Fish tacos. Ah.)) Considering Kourtney just came out to the public that she is pregnant again, her and Scott were obviously getting it on. In her magazine interview she stated how they had a lot of sex and the show really edited it to look as if their relationship was a lot worse than it really was. I know that is the beast that is the editing of reality TV, but c'mon now.

Even though I have so many issues with this show, I do find it entertaining and set my DVR each week so I can watch it without interruption. So maybe I shouldn't complain. Ha. Who am I kidding? Of course I am going to. And that is because I am one of the reasons this trash continues to make millions and I hate myself for it.  I know how fake and ridiculous it is and still continue to tune in. Sue me. But seriously, Ryan Seacrest and E!, I am not a complete fucking idiot, so please don't treat me like one. I am sure you can manufacture plenty of other original fake storylines that we don't already know the endings to. So save the "Is Kourtney pregnant again?" storyline." Thanks so much.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Damn You Facebook!

Do you ever get that feeling where you hit it off with a guy and then when the time comes to part ways, nothing happens? There is that awkward pause on what (if anything) is going to happen next and then you are all "K, nice to meet you, bye." No exchange of numbers or emails or anything? It's kind of disappointing, right? Well, yeah. This has happened to me a couple times and in my head I think "Wow, maybe I read that whole situation wrong and totally made up the chemistry we had." Then I second guess myself. Kinda sucks. But it is what it is. I am a woman of the 2000's, I can make the move after if I want to. (And really, if he was just that into me, wouldn't he have just done it?)

The most recent of this event happened in September. I went to a Giants Monday Night Football game with some friends.  When we got to our seats, next to us were some normal looking guys our age, which is always a good thing.  I started talking with one of them who was one seat away from me. We kept talking over his friend (who sat in between us) and seemed to actually hit it off, chatting flirtatiously most of the game. He even offered multiple times to get me a drink, some ice cream, etc... Eventually he asked if he could switch seats with his friend and we sat next to each other the rest of the game. We covered the usual about each other as far as what we do, where we went to school, where we are from, etc... All seemed to be going pretty well for what I thought would be at the very least, an exchange of information for future contact. However, when my friends and I left the game after the third quarter because it was a snooze fest at that point, we said goodbye to each other and then...nothing. I for sure thought he'd ask for my digits. But he didn't. Bummer. I wasn't going to initiate asking for his information because I didn't care THAT much (he was G-U (Geographically Undesirable) after all) to me, but there was mild disappointment on my end. 

Anyway, cut to this weekend, I was reading an article online about how Facebook has this "Other" section in their "Messages" that hides messages from people that you are not friends with or have no mutual friends with. I decided to see if I had this section, which I obviously do, (cause everyone does!) and lo and behold, there was a message from the cute guy from the Giants game from the night we met in September! WTF?! How could I have missed this? Fucking Facebook!! I mean we could be happily dating by now. Totally kidding. Or more likely, I could have already gone out with him once, found something wrong with him, and written him off already. Also kidding. Kind of. But seriously, I mean, how did I not know about this secret message section until now? This means, after the game, he actually searched for me on Facebook, and found me, which isn't an easy task. I have a pretty common name and live in an enormous city so kudos to you fella. You have good Facebook stalking skills! A man after my own heart.

So here I was on a Friday night with this new Facebook message from someone I was attracted to for a night two months ago.  Kind of exciting. But man was I pissed I didn't get the message then. Damage done though. I decided even though two-and-a-half months had gone by I would write him back anyway. Hey, I have nothing to lose at this point. And so I did. And we corresponded back and forth a few messages and then nothing. I mean two months have passed, so maybe the little interest he had was gone. If that was the case though, why bother even writing back (and in a flirtatious manner at that)? (I mean I guess I could have initiated a meet-up or something, but eh, whatever.)

I really don't know why he wrote me two months ago. Maybe he was too nervous to ask for my number at the game? Or just wanted to continue to chat? Or was just bored? Whatever it was, I wish I would have gotten the message back then because he obviously went out of his way to find me and write me. Regardless of what might have happened then (and the fact I got nothing out of it now), I now know how to get my "other messages" from Facebook so something like this won't happen again. Next time I meet a cute guy and we seem to hit it off and he doesn't ask for my number, I will either man up and ask for his or can only hope his shyness will not hinder him from finding me on Facebook and messaging me. Challenge extended gentlemen.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra

I am Jewish. I was born and raised Jewish. We celebrated Hanukkah while growing up and I was lucky enough to get presents on each of the 8 nights as a child. Most of my friends growing up were also Jewish. There were the fair share of gentiles in the neighborhood and obviously the sights, sounds, and smells of Christmas were and still are everywhere, especially on TV.  (I mean, are there even any Hanukkah movies anyway?) There are so many Christmas movies out there, old and new, and I have my favorites. (I am also not ashamed to admit I have never seen It's a Wonderful Life. Sue me.) Some are very popular and on all the time, especially in the time leading up to Christmas. And some just come on once or twice right before Christmas. Nonetheless, I must watch each one of the movies below at least once to get in the holiday spirit.

1. A Very Brady Christmas. This is probably the rarest of the Christmas movies because it is on only like once a year. I search and search for this movie for when it is going to be on and I make sure to watch it in real time. It's pretty much my favorite Christmas movie. I just love the Bradys and their hijinks. In this movie, they are all grown up (everyone is the original actor and actresses except for Cindy) and they come together for Christmas. Priceless. (This is no particular scene in the movie, but a nice montage of this fantastic family movie.)

2. Elf. This movie is usually on TV at least once a week right after Thanksgiving. I can watch it over and over again even though I own it on DVD. Will Ferrell nailed this role as Buddy the Elf and it makes me laugh out loud almost every single time.

3. A Christmas Story. TBS made this movie even more spectacular by running their 24-hour of A Christmas Story. From the leg lamp to learning that your tongue will indeed stick to a frozen flagpoll, this movie has it all. There are way too many classic scenes to count but to me, this movie is Christmas.

4. Bad Santa. I first saw this movie in the theater with my family on Christmas Day (that's what us Jews do on Christmas) and all of us loved it. It's totally not a family movie in any sense, but because we all have a such dirty sense of humor (my mom pretends not to, but def does), we all enjoyed it and were laughing out asses off. How could we not grow to love little Thurman Murman?

5. The Santa Clause. This is another movie I can watch over and over again. I don't know what it is about this movie, but I really like it. I think its just Tim Allen. When I was younger, I had a weird crush on him even though he was a dad. Weird.

Honorable Mentions: Home Alone (and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York), Scrooged, and (The original) Babes in Toyland

We all have our favorite holiday movies and most of them are on the "25 Days Of Christmas" movies on ABC family leading up to Christmas. And if not, they are at some point before the big day. There is nothing better than putting on some sweats and hopping on the couch with some hot chocolate to get this Jewish girl in the Christmas spirit.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

A marathon of emotions

Well, it happened again last night: The Biggest Loser made me cry. Damn you BL, you get me every time with your damn marathon episode.  It's one of the my favorite episodes of each season and by far one of the most inspiring. Of course I cried like a baby. Watching these people that were so morbidly obese just months ago run 26. 2 miles absolutely blows me away. These are people went from couch potatoes to marathon runners in such a short matter of time, changing their lives in between and it is absolutely incredible.

Because I am selfish, the marathon episode also always make me think of my first marathon and all the emotions that came along right with it. I mean, it's a marathon, 26.2 miles, and to truly understand its meaning you have to had run one. I mean, I can't even watch one on TV or in real life, without tearing up because I know what it takes to complete it. It's really an incredible physical feat for anyone and something I think everyone should experience if they can. It will truly change your life. A marathon is a physically and mentally draining event and anyone who runs one impresses the hell out of me and that in itself is no easy task.

I have run five marathons and they never get any easier. Each time its a challenge and that's why I do it. I get some weird gratification (torturing myself with the training and) competing with myself each time and completing this distance. With all the pain comes all the pride and that is something I will have forever.

Running a marathon was never something on my bucket list. When I was a senior in college, I was feeling like a fat-fuck from drinking all the time and eating everything in sight and decided that I needed something to help get motivated to start running again. As an athlete, I always like to have something to work towards, so I decided that I would try to run a marathon. I didn't know anyone who had run one before and I had no idea of the time and energy that actually went into training for and running one, but I knew this would be the goal that I needed to get me back on track. I went on my computer, signed up for the Chicago Marathon, paid, and pressed send. I knew once I paid that entry fee, there was no turning back.

I trained all summer for that marathon. (Mind you I had never run a race further than a 5k (3.1 miles) before so this was a bit of a challenge.) I slowly built up my endurance. Eventually I was doing 20 milers in Central Park. It was def unenjoyable but I sucked it up and did it. Alone most of the time. Each time my mileage went up, I impressed myself and came home so proud of myself. Each time I was running further and further and faster and faster. When marathon day came, I was as ready as I was going to be and I was excited. I was just about to embark on something only 1% of the population can say they have done. And I knew I was going to finish, even if someone had to drag my carcass across the finish line.  I honestly didn't think that something like a race would change me. I mean, really, I was just running...for a long time.

At the start of the race I was excited and nervous. They played the national anthem and I cried. I was inspired by the 30,000 people around me who were about to embark on this amazing journey, something we all worked really hard for. As the race went on I was feeling pretty good. Each mile I ran was one less until the finish line. Once I hit mile 20 I got super excited because I had never exceeded that distance before. That feeling alone was pretty awesome. (Surprisingly I never hit "the wall" either.) As soon as I saw that finish line I began to cry again and continued to cry until I crossed the finish. Even though there were thousands of people around me, I felt alone in my own world of accomplishment. It was fantastic. I couldn't believe I did it. I just ran 26-point-freaking-2 miles. That feeling is truly indescribable and I was surprised that those exact emotions came back to me each of the 4 succeeding marathons I have run. I can honesty say that each time I run a marathon, it's a difficult and challenging task...yet I welcome it. Also, because I want to better my previous time, it gets more difficult and I put more pressure on myself.  However, the end always justifies the mean more than I can ever tell you. The emotions you feel are priceless and are worth the time and the pain.

Whether its a 5k, a 10k, a half marathon or a full, and whether you are running to lose weight, to get healthy, or just for fun, completing something you didn't think you could achieve will be one of the happiest moments in your life and something no one will ever be able to take away from you. And if you are someone who doesn't think its possible for you, just watch one of the marathon episodes of Biggest Loser and prepare to be inspired. ( Just make sure you have Kleenex handy!)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I Need to Take the Car for a Test Drive

On Sunday night a new show premiered on TLC called The Virgin Diaries. And let me tell you, I could not turn away. At all. The show features men and women that are virgins and follows their story lines for one episode. This first episode followed an engaged couple (aged 27 and 29), a single 35-year-old man, and 3 single female virgin roommates (aged 29, 29, and 30). One of these girls is a born-again/reclaimed virgin, and frankly, that doesn't count to me. Sorry Sweetheart.

I usually don't stay up to watch these shows but this one really piqued my interest and had me up past my bedtime. Screw the DVR tonight, I wanted to watch this bad boy in real time. And man was I glad I stayed up. This shit was fantastic. I mean, think about it...Do you know any 30 year old virgins? Or even any 20-year old virgins? Most likely not, so therefore our fascination with them increases ten-fold. This is probably the reason TLC decided to do a show on it. Brillz.

Now hear me out, I understand if someone wants to save their virginity until their wedding night. Completely legit. Your virginity is something very special to give your partner. Props to you for holding onto it. That is not that path I would take, but good for them. To each their own. I am a firm believer in test driving the car before you buy it whether you are virgin or not to begin with. (It's not worth the risk of getting a lemon...if you know what I mean. I mean, ask Charlotte in SATC!) I am sure saving yourself for marriage takes a lot of self control, and it will make the wedding night that much more special, but that is not in the cards for me. In fact, that ship has sailed. And its far, far away.

Not to be outdone by straight up virgins, there is also one couple on the show, that takes saving themselves to a whole other level: They haven't even kissed on the lips. They are also saving that for their wedding day. I mean, really? Who has that kind of self-control? And with someone they love?  But let me tell you, that first was Look out. As soon as the priest said "You may kiss the bride" there was an awkward pause between the couple and then WHOMP, they started kissing like they were eating each others faces off. And there was no stopping them for the rest of the night. Even their families found it humorous slash repulsive.  I of course, could not look away. I covered my mouth in horror and shock. Is this for real? Why yes, yes it is.
Waiting to kiss someone is for sure not even an option with me. I couldn't imagine not kissing someone within the first three dates, let alone a whole courting and engagement. I mean, that's just plain weird. (But this is coming from the girl who has made out with multiple dudes in one evening.) I just don't get it. That must take some serious restraint (and even more serious male (and female) blue balls). Ouch.

On top of being virgins, these people obviously don't drink alcohol either (also fine, but not my thing) or else the kissing and/or sex would (or should) have happened already. Casey, the 35 year-old virgin, who isn't necessarily a virgin by choice, went on a first date with one woman and revealed his virginity status to her to which she replied "Didn't you ever get hammered in college?" and then told the camera in her confessional "He needs to get hammered....and find a girl...that's hammered. And Just do it." Hahahaha. Truth. Right there. I mean, honestly, I truly think that anyone if someone, male or female, wants to get laid on any given night, it can be done. A dark bar, lots of alcohol, and little shame. Done and done. Happens all the time. All the time.

However, on the flip side, I completely understand if you've waited this long already, you really should save it for someone special. And you def should. But yes, the pressure will continue to mount. If you are like Casey and just want to "get it over with," I am sure you can find many willing participants that do not include prostitutes (which his mother suggested to him). So get on that...literally AND figuratively. 

Overall, this show was seriously fascinating and I cannot wait to tune in next week and see who they feature. And if you missed it on Sunday, find it on your guide and set your DVR. Now.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Singing Myself Home

I just finished reading Jodi Picoult's new book Sing You Home. One of the main characters in the book is a music therapist and at the beginning of the book, she goes on to explain how certain songs can evoke memories in people. How upon hearing a certain song, it can bring you back to that place emotionally. How you were feeling and experiencing at that time. In my opinion, this concept is so very true, and it started to make me think of songs that I hear and bring me back to certain (usually special) times in my life. I can think of numerous songs that I only need to hear the first five seconds of and they will transform back to a place in time. Sometimes that song might bring m back to a sad time, but usually the song takes me back to a very happy and fun time in my life. Below are 5 songs that I hear and right away and automatically get me transform me back to a "happy place."

1. Thong Song (Sisco) and Big Pimpin' (Jay-Z)  Remember back in the day, when big events would come up and you'd make a mix tape or a mix CD to remember that event. I use to make them all the time for flights when going on vacation and for road trips in college. One of the best mix CD's I ever made was for my senior year of high school spring break trip with my girlfriends. We went on a Carribbean cruise that spring break and it was such a fun time. We played that mix over and over again. I listened to it on the airplane and we played it on the deck of the ship and on the beach over and over again. Today, when I hear either of those songs, usually on shuffle on my iPod, I instantly get a smile on my face and can't help but shake my head to the beats of the music and the good times I had with my girlfriends on that trip. 

2. Forever Young (Rod Stewart) I will usually hear this song listening to classic rock on some random station in someone's car and it brings me back to seventh grade. This is the song that my Bat Mitzvah montage starts off with. As the song plays, there are pictures of me on the screen of me in different points of my life and you can see me growing up. The second I hear that song, I can picture that montage in my head. Damn, I was so adorable when I was little.

3. Ignition (R. Kelly) and In Da Club (50 Cent).  My junior year of college, my mom and I went to Florida for about 5 days together to visit my grandparents. We also made small road trips daily to Ft. Lauderdale, South Beach, etc... and would bump tunes in the car and sing along. We listened to a lot of hip hop and pop radio stations and these two songs were pretty mainstream and played on both stations so we heard them a lot. And we'd sing along and out loud each time. My mom also knew all the words to both songs so we'd really rock out the duets each time. This was one of the best trips I have ever been on. It was the first vacation my mom and I ever took just the two of us and really solidified our relationship. She is truly my best friend and its funny to think how much R. Kelly and 50 Cent could brought us so much closer.Whenever I hear these songs, I think of all our adventures that trip and all the memories we made together.

4. Crank That (Soulja Boy). Believe it or not, this song reminds me of Israel? You see, a little after this song became popular I went on my Birthright trip to Israel. I was one of 2 people on that trip from NYC so that automatically upped my street cred in the group, natch. Not only did I know the words to the song, I knew the dance too. Pretty fly for a white Jewish girl, right? The trip was 10 days long and there wasn't a day on that trip that we didn't hear that song and I didn't perform the dance for our entire travel group. By the end of the trip, most of our 40 person group knew all the dance moves and we would often just break into dance on the middle of our bus. Israel didn't know what was hitting 'em.

5. I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor). Every year in middle school there was a talent show. In seventh grade, three friends and myself decided to enter the show and lip sync and dance to this song. We choreographed the entire dance and had color coordinated costumes. Basically, we were the shit. I mean, we practiced our butts off for this show and when it was our time to perform, we nailed it. All the practice, time, and energy we put into our act paid off. We were a hit. Also, for the rest of the year, when this song came on at Bar and Bat Mitzvahs (which we may or may not have requested to the DJ), everyone circled around us as we danced our little hearts out with our awesome choreography. These days, I usually only hear this song at weddings or Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, but you better believe I will whip out some of my old dance moves and show everyone that I've still got it.

Some of the songs I listed above might mean nothing to you at all. They might also bring back a completely different type of memory for you. However, for me, I know that even writing this post helped me reminisce of great times in my life and how much music can really affect someone and change their mood. With so much more to come in my life, I know I will be able to connect to so many more songs, both old and new, and make new memories with them.

Thursday, December 1, 2011


I have been a teacher for the past seven years. And I love it. It is the only "real" job that I have had. I was a camp counselor then a camp director for many years in the summers of high school and college, and even worked at Bed, Bath, and Beyond...for three days. Retail wasn't for me.

As a teacher, I obviously get holidays off, as well as winter, spring, and summer vacations. Can't really complain about it. But sometimes....just sometimes, I wonder what it would be like if I had my "dream job." Like, if education, experience, and connections wasn't an issue, what would I absolutely love to do? That's easy, I would be a sports commentator on ESPN. That's right, I want to be a SportsCenter anchor. I make no apologies for my love for sports. Some might find it odd for a female to watch, play, and simply enjoy sports as much as I do. (And seriously for a girl like me to know so much about them and still be single, what's the deal?)

A few years back there was a show on ESPN called "Dream Job" where competitors vied for a position as an anchor on SportsCenter. I didn't know about it until it began and had only wish I had applied for that show. I would have dominated the competition.  Sure I have no broadcasting experience, but that's ok. I have natural charm and charisma that will captivate an audience. And if I was a sportscaster, I would have my own amazing catch phrase. Booyah. Boom-shaka-laka. Yahtzee. Or even "Boom goes the dynamite". It would be amazing. And an instant classic once it leaves my lips for the first time. People would be quoting me left and right. And I would be a legend. Damn, ESPN, just hire me now.

After I moved to NYC, I inquired about getting an internship down in Bristol, CT at ESPN, but they only took internships from college students. Since I was no longer in college, that option was not available to me which was a bummer. The only way for me to really go after this dream would be to quit my day job and put all my marbles into this dream. And as much as I want to do that, I just can't. I am a realist and at this point in my life, it's not in the cards. I wish I could drop everything to chase this dream but since money IS an object (that I don't have a lot of), I need to stick with my day job.  I am very happy being a teacher and if an opportunity arises to chase this dream for real, I will obviously jump at it, but until then, I will continue to just entertain my students which Biology catchphrases.