Chelsea and Khloe...Call me

I am just going to put it out there. I want to be friends with Khloe Kardashian and Chelsea Handler. Best friends. Yes, I have great friends here in NYC, but I am usually the loudest, most obnoxious, and raunchy of the bunch...all in the best ways possible. Of course. But I would love a partner, or two in crime. I am sure we all have celebs that we feel we relate to and if given the opportunity, would love to hangout with them and have a few drinks (or even let them treat us on a shopping spree).

I have read all of Chelsea's books and laughed out loud each time. Something rare for me. I even skimmed the book that Khloe and her sisters "wrote", Kardashian Konfidential (don't judge me for that one).  I watch both their respective shows on E! and each and every time, I conclude that the three of us would make a very dangerous, and very fun trio. If we did ever actually meet and hit the town, I fear for my liver, my life, and my self-respect.  From what I have seen from these ladies, I feel that we share a lot in common and easily could be fast friends.

So why you you ask do I think we would hit it off? Well, here it goes: we all share a vulgar vocabulary and sense of humor, a shameless attitude, a sense of independence, an apparent attraction to black men, and a love for high heels and Spanx. If I actually did research on them beyond their watching their TV shows and reading their books, I am sure the list could go on. But I am not a stalker, so I have not ever even googled them or looked at their personal websites. Some fan, huh?

However, there are few big traits that unfortunately I do not share with these ladies. They are both loaded. I mean, so. much. money. (I at least wouldn't be expected to cover the tab if we did go out.) They also both live in LA which would make our relationship geographically undesirable and I don't really do G.U. relationships. Too hard. Apparently that's all of the differences I can think of at the moment, so my pros outweigh my cons by a lot. Certainly not enough to deter me from hanging with them if they actually knew I existed. We are so meant to be. So to you, Chelsea and Khloe, if you are in NYC...holler at your girl.