Sunday, September 4, 2011

Is there a stigma?

Probably over half of the phone calls I have with my mother end with her saying "Love you...(pause)....Jdate." Mind you I talk with her multiple times a day (that's a whole other issue) so I hear this quite often.  She tries to sneak it in there subliminally like I am not going to hear it. If you know her, you can probably actually picture her doing this or even here her saying it.  The woman is obsessed with me internet dating. Obsessed I tell you. She (and my grandma on numerous separate occasions) have even offered to pay for it for me. I am 29 years old, make good money, and they are offering to pay for MY internet dating. That is how bad they want me to do it. You'd think they have stock in JDate. They actually don't care what dating site I use, as long as I find a nice Jewish husband.  However, for some reason, even though it is 2011 and so many people use internet dating, I still feel there is a stigma attached with it. If I did do it, and actually met the man of my dreams, and someone asked me how we met, I would be mortified to say "JDate" (or any online dating service). I don't know what it is, but I really find it to be embarrassing. However, if others tell me they met that way, I don't laugh or think its weird. It's my own little issue that I just can't get over. My mom actually thinks it's more embarrassing to meet my future husband in a bar than on the internet, but I just can't agree with her on that one.

I have had friends do JDate, eHarmony, Match, and OkCupid and I don't judge them. To each their own, but its just not my thing. I love hearing stories of their dates. Many of them however, don't end promising enough to give me the motivation to join.  I may be singing a different tune in a few more years (or even a few more months) if I am still single, but for now, I am happy going out and meeting different guys, even if they barely peak my interest. I like face to face contact; seeing what a person really looks like the first time I meet them. The internet can be deceiving and yes, I do care what someone looks like. Call me shallow, but anyone who is saying looks don't matter is flat out lying. Yes, someone may not be the most attractive person at first, but can get more and more attractive the more you know them and their personality, but you aren't going to talk to someone you don't know (or click on their profile) if they are uggs.

So, why am I so against internet dating for myself? Well, I am actually pretty confident with my social skills and am working on being more confident with my appearance. But I think I would be even more insecure if I posted my best pictures online and then met up with a guy from the internet and just saw his look of disappointment. I couldn't handle that. This is my major fear with internet dating.

Ultimately, I would love to have a great story on how I met my future husband. Maybe a friend introduced us. "God, I have this friend. She is such a catch. Really amazing. You should meet her" and he does and falls in love with me. Or we bump carts at Trader Joes, chit chat a bit, then he asks me out. Or you are on the opposite team of one of the many sports I play and are just so impressed by my athleticism you have to meet me. Whatever it may be, I just feel in my heart that I am not going to meet my future husband online. However, if I do decide to give it a go, you better believe I will be entering my mother's credit card number in the payment section.


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