That's a dealbreaker, ladies

The famous words of Liz Lemon "That's a dealbreaker, ladies" resonate in my head constantly. When I see a guy walking down the street wearing mandals, I think to myself "That's a dealbreaker, ladies." When the guy at the beach looks like he is wearing a sweater and then I realize its just his hairy back, I think to myself "That's a dealbreaker, ladies." When I am in line at the grocery store and the guy in front of me has dirty fingernails, I think to myself "That's a dealbreaker ladies." Anyways, you get it. I am constantly watching, judging, and making mental notes to myself on what traits in guys are dealbreakers, meaning that if you posess these qualities, chances are I won't talk to you, let alone date you.

Many of us single ladies have our list of dealbreakers and it may even sound like a montage from Seinfeld when you list all of them (close talker, face-painter, man hands, anti-dentite, sidler, re-gifter, etc...). However, for each of us, we have to wonder: Are our deal breakers actual DEALBREAKERS? Will they really deter you from having a relationship with someone? If you like someone enough, are you able to ignore the dealbreakers? What if it's super easy to change? Get him new sandals. Get his back waxed. Cut and clean his fingernails. Sounds easy, right?  Well, I guess its really a case-by-case basis here. You really have to sit down and make your list first in order to figure this out. So ask yourself: Do I have my own list of "Dealbreakers"? Do I have my list of "Must-haves?" Do these lists essentially mean the same thing? I guess we can only write them out and see. 

So what are your absolute dealbreakers? I will give you three of mine.  If I didn't limit it to three, this post could go on for a while...(but seriously, I am trying to be more open-minded)
1) Smoking. My future husband will not smoke. Its expensive, its disgusting, and its unhealthy. Not debateable at all.
2) Being unathletic. As someone who grew up playing sports and still does, I need someone that can play catch with me (and not throw like a girl...GROSS!), shoot hoops, hit the tennis ball, etc... and be good at it. I need some competition you know?!
3) Being unemployed. I need stability. Someone who has a steady income and can support himself (and me) financially. And needless to say, your job must be legal.

 If these are 3 of my dealbreakers, then what are my must-haves? Well obviously, you can't smoke, must be athletic, and you must be gainfully employed. Once again, if I had to list all my must-haves the list would be lengthy. So once again, I will give you my top three.
1) Fantastic sense of humor. You must be funny. And since I am hilarious you must think I am funny even if I do cross the line with content and language. You also must be able to dish it and take it.
2) Enjoy your job. Now that we know you have a job, I would assume you actually like what you do for a living. If you wake up everyday dreading to go to work, you are not going to be someone who is pleasant to be around and I won't want to be around you.
3) You want to raise our kids Jewish. This may shock some of you that know me because I am not religious, but I do want to raise my kids Jewish, reformed of course. (Mom, I know you are smiling knowing this if you didn't already know.) They will be dragged out of the bed for Sunday school and forced to go to Hebrew school just the way that I was as a kid and they will appreciate it later in life (kind of like I did). I want them to have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. It's just the way its got to be. I want them to have some kind of connection to their Jewish culture and heritage. 

Let me tell you this...As I was writing this, I legit had a harder time coming up with my must-haves than my dealbreakers. What does that say about me? Do I know more of what I don't want than what I want? That can't be good, can it? I guess the only way to know what I want is go out there and meet (and sleep with...kidding...maybe) more and more guys and hope to find the right one. As long as he doesn't own mandals.