Friday, October 28, 2011

Housewives putting it On Display

I don't mean to brag, but if you name name any Real Housewives season, I can pretty much tell you the entire cast (and also give you my opinion on them whether you ask for it or not).  I love that show. Whether its New York, New Jersey, Miami, DC, Beverly Hills, Atlanta, or the ladies who started it all, Orange County, I have tuned in. Each season has its own drama and its own attitude. Well done Andy Cohen. Well done.

If you don't watch the Housewives, let me break it down for you. It's a bunch of women all trying to outdo each other (with money they apparently don't even have), talk shit about each other, and get into catfights. That's pretty much it in a nutshell. Sounds pretty incredible, right? Well, it is...until these women start to forget who they are and what they're job is. And let me tell you this...its not to sing. It's to shop, drink, eat brunch, drink, attend fabulous parties, drink. You get it. Nowhere in their contract does it say they should be singing.

Jo De La Rosa (from the OC), one of the the most annoying characters in that series history (and not even an actual housewife!), was the first of the ladies to pave the way of wanting to use her "fame" to begin a singing career. Her man Slade, took her under his wing and got her into a studio to begin recording her first single. Needless to say, her singing voice was just as awful as her regular voice and her song bombed. It was terrible. However, she was the pioneer of Housewives wanting to become pop stars.

Of the Housewives that have recorded songs (and even videos), I have actually found many of the tunes quite catchy. Catchy does not equal good, but these songs do get stuck in your head.  These pretty talentless women are lucky enough to pair up with decent producers with quality equipment and churn out a hit. So bravo (pun intended) to them for that. Seriously.

Below are four the best "Housewives" songs in my opinion. Sorry Danielle Staub and Lawrence (Sheree's friend from RHOA), but you didn't make the cut.

Kim Zolciak (Atlanta): Don't be Tardy to the Party. Not gonna lie, I have this on my iPod. With the miracle of auto-tune, this song became kind of popular. Kim obviously has no talent, but knew how to take what she does have (still trying to figure that out) and work with it.

LuAnn de Lesseps (NYC): Money Can't Buy You Class Ah, Countess LuAnn. With snarky, condescending remarks, she tried to teach us all how to have class in her book. Then she put it into a song. Eh. It's ok, but once again, I did find myself singing it when cleaning my apartment. And just so you all remember, here are LuAnn's words to the wise: "Money can't buy you class...elegance is learned."

LuAnn de Lesseps (NYC): Chic C'est La Vie  The Countess impressed herself so much with her first single, she went ahead and made a second. She even filmed a music video for this one with some of the other NYC Housewives. Oy.

Melissa Gorga (NJ): On Display I think this might actually be my favorite of the Housewives song. I don't know what it is about it, but its pretty damn catchy. And Melissa's voice isn't totally terrible.


I am sure there will be more Housewives who think they can sing and will come out with more songs in the future. And more power to them I guess. Strike while the iron's hot. Or...even better, maybe a few of them will come together and form an all girls group. You hear that Andy? One can only hope!

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