Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Are you "That girl"?

Are you one of "those girls"? The one who meets a guy then drops everyone else in your life? The one who talks about her boyfriend in pretty much every other sentence? The one, who if your relationship fails, expects all your other friends to be right there for you even though you completely blew them off for a few months (or even more) for this guy? Are you "that girl" that I can not stand?

I really hope that I am not describing you. And if I am, we probably aren't friends anyway. Girls like you probably don't even realize you are one of "those girls" and I honestly feel bad for you. I have known many of you in my lifetime and against my better judgement, I gave you more than one chance. You know the old adage "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Well, after being fooled twice (and sometimes more...shame on me!) by so-called friends, I learned that I wasn't going to put myself in those situations again, especially as we get older and you should know better.

I am a firm believer that if you have a significant other in your life, you have to maintain a healthy balance between that person and your friends.  I know a new relationship is exciting and you want to see that person as much as possible, and that's totally fine. I get it. And you should spend time getting to know each other and relishing in the "in like" stage. Totally normal. But you have to remember the people who were important in your life before then. They are the ones that want you be so happy. They are excited for you. So don't forget about them. Because if you put all your eggs in one basket (new bf) and it doesn't work out, then these are the people you want to have console you and have around you. But if you blow them off for your new man, they won't be around to help you anymore.

Another helpful hint if you are "that girl": No one wants to hear about your boyfriend all the time. I don't care what he had for lunch. What TV show he watched last night. Where his boss is going on vacation. Really, I don't give two shits. (And really, I had a friend that would tell me these things. I would actually just walk away during these one-sided conversations.) What makes you think I care? Is this the only thing we have to talk about anymore since you have abandoned everything else in your life for him? I really feel badly for you. More so because you don't even realize what you are doing. You really don't get it. And you truly believe everyone around you wants to hear every little detail about you and him. We don't. Get a clue. The more you do this, we want to spend even less time with you whether we like your boyfriend or not. And it sucks, because you use to be you and I loved hanging out with you. But now you have simply become "his girlfriend" and you are insufferable.

So to all you girls out there, you should find a man that loves you. We all deserve that. But remember your other friends who were there for you many times before he came along. You want them to experience your happiness with you. Don't drive them away. You need balance. You need friends. Figure it out. And then maybe we can talk. And if I ever, ever become one of "those girls", feel free to smack some sense into me. Literally. Because I will for sure deserve it.

1 comment:

  1. Probably the worst symptom of this syndrome is when the girl starts referring to her boyfriend as "him" without actually introducing him into the conversation. Like "you'll never guess what he's doing" without even identifying who "he" is, because you're supposed to just assume it's the boyfriend. Puke.

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