Monday, October 10, 2011

Hey Pretty Eyes

"Hey Beautiful." "Ay Mami."  "Hey Pretty Eyes." "Damn girl." "God Bless." Ah, someone in East Harlem appreciates me. When I walk down the street uptown, one would think that I am some sort of supermodel.  Apparently if you are a blue-eyed, blond hair "thick" white girl with a booty, you are considered to be pretty desirable in Harlem. A hot commodity if you will. I think its the combination of the blue eyes and the big butt with the light skin that makes it such the rarity. However, that same blue-eyed, blond hair "thick" white girl with a booty walking pretty much anywhere below 96th street doesn't even get a second glance. Nothing. Nada.

Up in East Harlem, it seems that the standards for being beautiful are a little different than they are downtown. Culturally speaking, the neighborhood is predominantly Hispanic and Black. And culturally speaking, the men of those cultures seem to appreciate curvier women more than white men and there aren't too many women in that culture with blue eyes. Additionally, the guys uptown also don't have any shame in letting you know what they think about you.  Whether it's the 70 year-old playing dominoes outside the bodega, the group of twenty somethings that whistle at you, or the hot barber on the corner, they are letting you know they like what they see.  My friends and I always joke and wonder "is it wrong that this makes us feel good?" even though they do it to many girls that pass by? And I am not gonna lie, yes, it is flattering. Who doesn't like to be told they are pretty?  But even though it can be a confidence booster, eight times out of ten, it can be straight up creepy how intent these guys are to let you know they are "feeling ya".

In situations like these, one always wonders if its best to just ignore them and keep walking or to give a quick "thank you" and to keep walking.  I had a friend who once ignored the catcalls and kept walking and her compliment was quickly followed up with a "You're not that cute anyway, bitch. Keep walking". Although that response is pretty rare, I honestly think your best bet is to tell them thanks and be on your way. You are are appreciating their appreciation and they appreciate that. Make sense? Everyone's a winner.

What I do wonder about these guys is their intentions. Are they just literally just letting you know they like what they see or are they looking for something more? I mean, what smart, confident girl in their right mind would actually stop and start a conversation with one of these guys? Well believe me, no smart, confident girl does, but dumb, insecure girls often do and that's why the guys keep doing it and think that its totally okay. However, in the case of this girl, although I am a bit flattered, I am going to keep on walking, thank you politely, and just bask in the joy that at least someone thinks I am pretty. And the next time I am having a "ugly/fat" day, you better believe I will go out of my way to walk past you so I can get "hollered at." Hey, every little bit helps.

4 comments:

  1. I think these guys mostly do it to look cool in front of their friends and/or have something to talk about. I wouldn't be shocked if they've never once succeeded in hooking up with a girl using that approach.

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  2. My boyfriend used to live on 101st and 1st, so the walk from the 103rd st subway station was much like what you describe here. I also never know whether to say something or not - one time I kept walking and the guy called after me "what, you don't like black men?" suuuuper uncomfortable.

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  3. I have a new one for you! This was too creative and complimentary to ignore and was rewarded with a wink and a smile (as opposed to my strained fake I'm smiling-to-appease-you-please-don't-follow-me grin).

    Passing a group of guys in front of a bodega today, I heard: "Hey Tinkerbel! Hey Tinkerbell!"

    My acknowledgment was rewarded with a chorus of hoots an hollers. So yes, some days in Harlem, "everyone wins"!

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  4. When I was having a bad day, "Keep your head up, mah. You have beautiful eyes."


    I was trying to get a bag of popcorn from the bottom shelf at the bodega, and I look up to two guys snickering... "Hey, mah, just admiring the view."

    Being a "thick" white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes in Harlem is both a blessing and a curse.

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