Wise Words of Mama June

I was skeptical at first at what TLC was doing giving 7 year-old Alana Thompson, Honey Boo Boo herself, and her family their own reality show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. But damn, did they have the right idea and I am hooked. I seriously look forward to this show every week. This family is television gold and Mama June has become the break-out star.

Mama June is only 32 years old. That's only two years older than me, but man is that woman wise beyond her years. With four kids, from four baby daddies, she may not be the typical mother in the sense of the word, but she seems to have great relationships with her daughters and there is love there, even if it might not in the most traditional sense.

It's amazing to me that even though everyone on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is speaking English, there are captions on everything they say. However, sometimes even with the captions, it can be hard to understand what they are saying. It's like they almost have their own language. And you know what, I kind of love it. I want to start incorporating some of this family's common vocab into my every day conversations. Some of the favorites that I have heard this season thus far are...

Vagiggle jaggle. All the fat that jiggles on a person. One of my favorite of Mama June's terms. According to Mama, "I hope I don't see a bunch of wedgies at the waterpark. Vagiggle jaggles gonna be hanging out, though." Clearly, she was including herself in that statement. The woman is self-aware at least.


Beautimus. Beautiful. Pretty. "All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimus." Apparently having all your fat hanging out in improperly fitting clothing is not too attractive. Mama June, I agree.

Forklift foot. What Mama Junes calls the deformation that is her foot. She says her foot was run over by a forklift when she worked in a factory and her toes are all messed up giving her "forklift foot." She refuses to show her feet to anyone and even got her toenails painted over her sock in an episode. Finally, at the waterpark, she revealed her Forklift Foot to her girls, and they were just as repulsed as everyone else who had to see that bad boy. And let's not even discuss the gnats that were surrounding that nastiness.

Biscuit. The vagina. The va-jay-jay. As Mama June says "It's called a biscuit because it looks like a biscuit and it opens up." Unfortunately, Anna, one of Alana's sisters let someone get to her biscuit a little too early and now she is fifteen and pregnant. Brutal.

Smexy. What Mama Junes tries to look on her night out with Sugar Bear. Maybe she realizes she can't be sexy, so she settles for smexy. Maybe its a combo of smokin' and sexy? Who knows.

Neck Crust. When a person has many chins or rolls in the neck, dirt forms. If you not clean that dirt, it can from a crust that looks like rust. It's pretty freaking disgusting. One of June's daughter's even bought her rust cleaner at the store as a joke to clean her neck with. Um, disgusting!!! Clean yourself properly woman.

Seriously, this woman contains so much wisdom it's a wonder she wasn't discovered before this show. No wonder this show is on The Learning Channel (TLC), its super informative and awesome. Some of the stuff she says is vulgar and ridiculous, but every now and then she does have a gem that really is valuable to her children. Her vocab is top notch and the advice she gives out to her daughters isn't to shabby either (well, some of the time at least). When Alana states "Mama says that pretty comes in all different sizes. My size is cute," it put a big smile on my face. It's almost very Forrest Gump, but June is instilling confidence in her daughter no matter what and I admire that. So although she has a ton of jiggle-jaggle, neck crust, and a forklift foot, there are some redeeming qualities about Mama June Shannon and I can give her some credit for it. But not too much.