Reality Me?

With the 22nd and final season of the Real World just starting on MTV last week, it has got me thinking 1) I am so old compared to these people 2) I wish I could('ve) be(en) on that show and never went for it. I am not embarrassed or ashamed to admit I still watch and enjoy this show. I have seen every single season and still find it entertaining. It was the show that started it all.

Now most of you know, I love me some reality TV. I mix it all up with some quality shows (Parenthood, Blue Bloods, Girls, etc...) also, but I can't give up the good stuff. In fact, there are some reality shows that I not only continue to watch if still on the air, but wouldn't mind being on if given the opportunity. Seriously. I think I would make for great TV. Facts. With all that being said, here are the six reality shows that I would LOVE to be on...

Oh Housewives...

I have made no secret in the past for my love of most reality TV. I have no shame. If it's on Bravo, VH1, or MTV, I will most likely give it a try. Whether or not I stick with a show is debatable, but I will at least give it a shot. Usually a one or two episode trial. One show that I have stuck with year after year, season after season, and location after location, is the Real Housewives of _________ on Bravo. Thanks a lot Andy Cohen. He really hit a gold mine with this series and I have seen them all. Yes, ALL. From the OG's of the OC to the one-season DC women and everything else in between. (And of course a majority of the spin-offs as well!)

Bravo's Housewives franchise is far from real. These women are catty, immature, superficial, and often times delusional. Those traits I'm sure are very real, but sometimes the situations they are in are not totally authentic. And many of them want more screen time so take up their terrible traits a few notches to get more screen time. Very few of them are what I would consider "normal." But who am I to judge, right? (I mean, I do tune in week after week, don't I? So what does that make me?) Some of these women aren't even real housewives in the true definition of the word. Some aren't married and most don't actually participate in actual housewife duties. But guess what, almost all of them are laughing all the way to the bank and I am slaving away at work day after day and making peanuts.

Slow your "Role"

Okay, Okay, we all know I watch a lot of TV. And a lot of it is what some would consider trash-TV. Most of it is reality TV and I tend to find most of it supremely entertaining and totally worthwhile which is why I tune in week after week. It gives me joy and I'm so not ashamed to admit it.

There are many people that "hate-watch" many of the shows I like because so many people are unlikeable, but I watch simply because I enjoy them. (And yeah, maybe a miniscule amount of hate-watching too. You got me there.) In my opinion, many of these shows have likeable people for the most part and even those who you root for; however, there are some people who, when they come on my screen, make me want to punch them in the face. And since I can't do that, they make me want to change the channel. But do I do that? Of course not! That would just be silly.

Chicago Still Has my Heart

All my summer blog posts have been about my travels, so why not write another one on that topic, huh? This time, it will be about my trip home to Chicago this past week. I go home every summer since I have the time off, but this was by far my shortest summer trip. It was only seven days long. Sigh. Because my mom went back to work already and both my dad and brother work everyday and I don't have a car there, they didn't think it was a good idea I stay much longer than a week. Usually I would disagree with that and fight to stay longer but because I was gone for so much of the summer already, I wanted to have some free time in NYC to just relax before work starts again. This summer sure flew by. Eight weeks just isn't enough!!

Everyone that knows me, knows that I love going home. I love hanging out with my family and basically lounging around the house. It's like I never left when I am there. I immediately make myself at home while at home. Obvs. Of course there is pool time and downtown time, and plenty of eating time included too. Even though it was a relatively short visit home, there were many highlights this vacay as per usual.

Just say NO to meggings

New trends are constantly hitting the streets. Especially in a fashion conscious city like NYC where anything goes. You see people wearing all kinds of clothes, accessories, and styles on the street everyday. Trendy or not, people wear what they please around here. As they should. But when a trend hits, you see it in most places, especially around these parts. Some of these trends look really good and some not so much at all. There are some wacky trends that actually do look good on certain people and on others looks absolutely ridic. Some people can just pull stuff off and it works. I however, am not one of those people and that's okay. I don't mind. Especially for trends that I straight up don't understand. For me, trendy does not always equal cute. Not on me. And not on anyone. Like the following...

1) Duck feet nails. Now nail trends are big these days. People are doing crazy things to their nails and most of them I can get behind. Even though I rarely paint my nails, I know what's in style. But one nail trend I can't get behind is duck feet nails. (Click HERE. For reals.) I first saw these on Tracy on Jerseylicious and was totally aghast. I wondered how she could style hair, heck even do such everyday tasks as texting, typing, picking her nose, etc... These nails not only look awful, but they are clearly not very functional. Stereotypically they are very "Jersey" or "Long Island" and therefore I occasionally see them on women in NYC. Not a good look chicas.

Dolvett, call me...

This past week Biggest Loser came back to our televisions. Two nights in a row. Two hours at a time. I didn't get a chance to watch it until the end of the week because with all new shows back and a busy week, my DVR got filled. Fast. Such is the life.

I was happy to be reunited with BL after such a long time even though the time commitment to watch is big, even with a DVR. I think this show is losing a bit of its mojo. I mean, I didn't even cry the first episode. WTF? This is not normal. I'd like to think it's because I am growing up, but I don't think that's the case.

As the new season begins, I find myself watching and thinking. Watching and thinking. Some of the things that cross my mind aren't anything new, and some of the things are more recent from this current season. So as I continue to watch Biggest Loser, this is what crosses my bizarre brain...

1) The kids on the show are brave as hell. This season BL has three teenagers on the show as they are tackling the topic of childhood obesity in America. These kids probably get made fun of a lot in their everyday life and are not very confident in themselves because of their weight and they are baring it all on national TV. I give them major props for that and hope they can turn their life around and end up happy and healthy.

GUEST BLOG: Guilty Pleasures Without the Guilt

Many of my friends have been super supportive regarding my adventures in blog writing. They also happen to be very smart and witty. (Remember you are the company you keep!) I always encourage them to help a sister out and give them an opportunity to express themselves if they so desire. I mean, why should I be the only one able to rant about my life? With that being said, here is a guest blog, the first in looong time. Enjoy. 

If you are like me and a lot of my lady friends, whether you are texting, or talking face-to-face; at least part of your conversations include a confession of indulgences followed by a rationalization or apology. Often, we call these indulgences “guilty pleasures”. 

I started thinking about “guilty pleasures” and suddenly thought…Who the fuck said we had to feel guilty about our pleasures?

After talking about this with a few of my friends, I realized, women, or at least the women I know, feel guilty about pleasures that involve three things.

Our Bodies 

Have you ever found yourself pulling out your hair while watching TV?  Your thumb and forefinger focused, fixated and grasping for that particularly coarse strand or split end, anticipating the pleasure of tearing it out and glaring at it with pride before you let it float to the floor? Or perhaps, you’ve gone to brush your teeth and found yourself absorbed, for 20 minutes or more, pinching, prying and presssing that in-gown hair or pimple, knowing you will not sleep until you are rewarded with the overwhelming satisfaction of release? Maybe you are like Sylvia Plath and you derive “sexual” pleasure from the “illicit sensuous delight” of nose picking...

Hooked

I've been watching the new show on MTV called Catfish: The TV Show. It's a television show based off the 2010 documentary by the same name. I had never seen the documentary but had heard about it and the topic was interesting.  In the movie, the main character, Nev, began an online relationship with a female and the film crew followed him as he discovered who she really was. (And it was not who she had perceived herself to be.) She was indeed a "catfish," which Wikipedia defines as "a person who creates fake profiles online and pretends to be someone they are not by using someone else's pictures and information."

The premise of the show is very similar in topic and shooting style. Each week, the one hour TV-show follows someone who has an online relationship with another person, usually for an extensive period of time, but has never met the person. It's the job of Nev and his friend Max, to uncover what the real deal is. Spoiler: The person is rarely, if ever, who they really say they are.

A Couple of Creeps

Unless you have lived in a bubble the last year you have probably heard about the marriage between 51-year old Doug Hutchinson and 16-year-old Courtney Stodden. Or as they like to call themselves, Dourtney. Did you just throw up in your mouth a little bit? Cause I did. Gross. If you have any kind of morals, when you saw their ages, the first thing that came to your mind was also along the lines of "Eeeew, gross." Let's be clear, that is a 35 year age gap between a husband and wife. There are so many things wrong with this. So many. I am 30-years-old and would never even date someone that old. But for someone half MY age to marry someone that age is straight up disturbing. In so many ways.

I have recently been watching Doug and Courtney on VH1's Couples Therapy and its one of those things that is so awful yet engrossing at the same time. There are other "celebs" on the show getting their therapy (and TV time, natch), but this couple ultimately steals the show. This is because a) they are trying to do so by starting shit and b) They are so ridiculous its hard not to take front and center.

Sidenote: Because Courtney is not 18 and because of CHILD labor laws in California, she can't even spend the night at the therapy house because it would be more hours filmed than allowed.

A Trifecta of Housewives

These last few weeks have been heaven for a Bravo reality TV fiend like myself. Bravo has outdone itself showing not one, not two, but THREE Real Housewives shows on in one week. New Jersey, New York, and Miami. Jackpot. It's quite the trifecta. If loving this is wrong, I don't want to be right. That's for damn sure. If only Andy Cohen could throw a sneak peak of Atlanta and Beverly Hills in there too, things really would be amazing. He really created a monster. And I say that in the most complimentary way possible.

So far all three seasons are full of the usual narcissism, drama, and wine-fueled fights that all Housewives fans have come to love. This season though, there seems to have been more of this than usual. Theresa vs. everyone on NJ, Aviva vs. Ramona and Sonja on NY, and so far Karent vs. Adriana and Alexia on Miami. Major dramz. And these are grown women. It's so bizarre to me that they actually don't mind being filmed behaving the way that they do. Clearly they are all part of the even-bad-publicity-is-good-publicity party or else they would be more mindful of how they act. Or would they?

TLC continues to make me think

TLC has done it again to me! It has created a TV show that has generated a fascination and caused me to have so many questions. Although TLC has recently been criticized for their programming choices (Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo and Breaking Amish), I must say that I have enjoyed them and actually learned many new things.

This post is a little past due because the TV show that I am going to discuss, Abby and Brittany, ended its first season a few weeks ago. I am unsure if a second season was picked up but it was recently brought up on another show I watch so it brought it to the forefront of my mind again. Last Monday on CBS's Two Broke Girls, the two main characters, Max and Caroline, were lying in bed together (as good friends do,) looking at a computer and Max joked "Seriously, I don't know how Abby and Brittany do it, because I'm uncomfortable with you even sitting this close to me." I laughed out loud. This is actually rare for me when watching TV. Then I thought, geez, there are probably so many people out there that didn't even get this joke because they don't watch all the garbage on TV that I do. They didn't watch TLC's Abby And Brittany about conjoined twins. See... all the hours of my TV viewing is paying off. I got a joke a lot of people probably didn't get on show a lot of people don't even watch. Pat on the back to me.

So many questions...

This summer I borrowed my friend's season one and season two of HBO's Big Love. It's about a polygamous family in suburban Utah. Watching this fueled my existing fascination with polygamists, but mostly with the Latter Day Saints (LDS) fundamentalist communities. The show focuses briefly on this side of the LDS, and the compounds that many of the LDS fundamentalists reside in, but its not its main focus. I learned mostly about this lifestyle/religion about two years ago when I read Escape by Carolyn Jessop. It is a memoir about her leaving her LDS fundamentalist cult, er, I mean community. (It's truly fascinating, so read it if you get a chance.)

Also, just Sunday night, TLC aired a new show called Breaking Amish. This new series is about Amish people that leave their communities and move to New York. When I first heard about this show about two months ago I was psyched. Such an interesting premise for a reality show. (However, I did wonder how these people found out about the show. They clearly didn't watch it on TV. Did TLC come to the communities to "recruit" people? I want to know!)  There is something soooo fascinating to me about the lives of the Amish and LDS fundamentalists. So fascinating. I don't know what it is exactly that intrigues me so much, but I just can't get enough of it. I drink up all that information and love learning about it.

Wise Words of Mama June

I was skeptical at first at what TLC was doing giving 7 year-old Alana Thompson, Honey Boo Boo herself, and her family their own reality show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. But damn, did they have the right idea and I am hooked. I seriously look forward to this show every week. This family is television gold and Mama June has become the break-out star.

Mama June is only 32 years old. That's only two years older than me, but man is that woman wise beyond her years. With four kids, from four baby daddies, she may not be the typical mother in the sense of the word, but she seems to have great relationships with her daughters and there is love there, even if it might not in the most traditional sense.

It's amazing to me that even though everyone on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is speaking English, there are captions on everything they say. However, sometimes even with the captions, it can be hard to understand what they are saying. It's like they almost have their own language. And you know what, I kind of love it. I want to start incorporating some of this family's common vocab into my every day conversations. Some of the favorites that I have heard this season thus far are...

Vagiggle jaggle. All the fat that jiggles on a person. One of my favorite of Mama June's terms. According to Mama, "I hope I don't see a bunch of wedgies at the waterpark. Vagiggle jaggles gonna be hanging out, though." Clearly, she was including herself in that statement. The woman is self-aware at least.

Adios to the OG's of Teen Mom

Tuesday night marked the series finale of the original Teen Mom. Yes, yes, I still watch Teen Mom on MTV. (Okay, okay, and Teen Mom 2). So what? It's awesome.  It sounds cliché but I have enjoyed watching these girls and their babies grow up right before us since they were on 16 and Pregnant. Farrah, Macy, Catelynn, and Amber have all had their ups and downs and the MTV cameras were there to catch most of them. And if the MTV cameras weren't there, usually the paparazzi cameras were and they were documented in the tabloids. Farrah with her new boobs, Macy and her on and off relationship with Kyle, Catelynn and Tyler's future wedding plans, and all of Amber's legal woes. (I'd say poor Amber, but I don't feel bad for her at all.)

Since these girls are pretty mainstream lately, most people have at least a little idea of who they are. They are on the cover of tabloids and probably will continue to be for a little while longer. It's amazing to me that four girls, who made irresponsible decisions as teens have become "famous" because of this. But I guess that's the monster that is reality TV in this century. At least their children are set-up with college funds from the money they make from the show. With all that being said, here are my thoughts on the four "OG's" of the Teen Mom empire.

Sizzlin' Summer TV

Summer TV programming is always fun. Your regular shows are on hiatus for the season and out filming for the new upcoming season which can sometimes be a bummer. However, there are a lot of re-runs on that can help you catch up on series you may have missed and want to give a try. Or watch shows you loved over again. I myself have now watched and the entire series of Laguna Beach on MTV retro mornings twice. Yes, twice. Don't judge. It's been awesome. And Style Network has just started airing Gossip Girl from the beginning on Wednesdays nights which I will obviously be watching. It's fun to watch those shows you haven't seen in ages begin all over again.

On top of my usual Teen Mom, Real Housewives of New York AND New Jersey, Real World and Bachelor Pad, (and let's be serious, sooo much more) there are some new summer shows that I have been tuned into on a weekly basis. They have kept my attention. None are serious dramas, but hey, its summer. Most are pretty thoughtless, and some might even call one or two of them "trashy," but I am an equal opportunist when it comes to my television viewing. I will give most shows a one or two episode trial before I drop them. Fortunately, the shows below made the cut for the summer. And hey, I wouldn't mind so much if they stuck around for a while longer.

Screw the Rules

One of the many shows that I watch is Bravo's Miss Advised. If you haven't seen or heard of this show, its about three women, who are "dating experts" yet are all single. They all give advice to other women all over the country from their respective roles (author, matchmaker, sex expert), yet don't seem to follow their own advice when it comes to guys and dating. So that's the role I am going to play today. I am the single 30-year-old woman giving dating advice. You know, because I am such a pro at landing a man. Work with me here.

Even though its 2012, there still seems to be these "rules" out there that both guys and girls think exist and have to be followed to gain a significant other. Well, guess what? They don't. If you like someone, freaking call them. If you have sex with someone on the first date, you are not a whore or a slut. Do what feels right. I mean, really, if you know who you are and what you want, then do what you need to do. Screw the rules.

The Virgins are back!

Okay, so TLC's Virgin Diaries is back! Are you as excited as I am? The last time it was on, I was horrified and entertained all at the same time. And I kind of felt dirty afterwards. And then, as quick as it arrived, it was gone. TLC only aired one-episode even though it received a lot of press about that one episode (including a hilarious blog post by moi); mainly because of "The Kiss." Ugh. Ick. Hopefully though, this time around it's not a one-time deal. Such a tease TLC. Don't play me like that this time.

This week's episode features three virgins, one guy and two girls. The girls, 29 and 32 years old, were both cute and pretty normal seeming. One was saving herself for marriage (understandable) and the other was just looking for the right guy to do it with for her first time (she succeeded). There wasn't much to say about the girls because they did seem pretty normal and just happened to be virgins at an older age which isn't a huge deal, but the guy, on the other hand, was odd to say the least.

So this is Skippy...

Skippy, the 33-years-old male Mormon who still lives in his parent's basement was our weirdo this episode. Virgin or no virgin, this guy was bizarre. There are two things that Skippy wants us to know off the bat about himself: 1) He collects T-shirts with his name and 2) He collects his own belly button lint. In a jar. Did you just throw up in your mouth for a second reading that? Because when I watched it, I definitely did. GROSS!! (This isn't even a joke. I couldn't make that up if I tried.)

Women Behaving Badly

I love reality TV as much as the next girl and usually if its on VH1, MTV, or Bravo I am tuning in. I also know that the more drama there is, the higher the ratings are. However, there comes a point where enough is enough with the dramz. The point where bullying (Basketball Wives I am looking at you especially) and pure nastiness occurs and its just too much. It loses its entertainment value and really just becomes unwatchable. I mean these are usually made up of grown-ass women. And in the case of many, grown-ass WEATLHY women. One would think that they would have some idea of common courtesy and class. But you know what Countess Luanne says "Money can't buy you class. Elegance is learned." She apparently speaks the truth. (Too bad she doesn't always follow her own advice.)

Usually in these reality shows, these women are forced to be around each other and booze in involved. Lots of booze. And when this happens, tempers seem to flare even more. I understand that most of the women probably wouldn't be friends or even spend any time together if the cameras weren't rolling, but geez. Some of the ladies actually do claim to be friends when the cameras aren't rolling and still go at each other's throats. It's amazing to me. And not in a good way.

It seems more and more shows are featuring the women's cattiness and trash talk and actually encourage it. Producers set up scenes where it can be featured and often times, situations seem to escalate where there is no reason for it to. Below are a few shows where this happens more times than not. I currently only watch one of them (I stopped with the rest), but am disgusted by the women's actions and thinking I might call it quits before the new season airs. You would think that the women who star in these shows would want a positive light to shine on them in the spotlight, but I guess sometimes any light will do.

Not So Reality

As mentioned many times before, I watch A LOT of TV. And a lot of the shows I watch are of the Reality TV genre. Don't judge me. My DVR is one of my prized possessions. I can't imagine how much more TV I'd watch if I could actually afford premium cable or had one of those boxes where you can record more than two shows at once. However, many of us know that much of Reality TV is scripted and not all so real after all. Shocker, I know. (Um, hello, all Kardashian shows! The most staged one of them all. But I still watch. Obvs.)  Maybe the feelings by the major players/characters in these shows are real but many of the scenes are set up by the producers and very strategically planned (and booze is involved). Also, there are things that occur on these shows that may not be acceptable in real life when the cameras are not running that occur and seem not to be questioned here. I guess that's the power you get when a camera crew follows you. Whatever it may be, I constantly find myself watching these shows, shaking my head in bewilderment over a few things. So here is my list of questions that have recently run through my head during a few of my many Reality TV shows.

Bethenny Ever After: Does Bethenny bring SkinnyGirl products wherever she goes? Even in Mexico, there was Skinnygirl on the table. At restaurants whenever her and Jason (or her and anyone) eat out, its there. It's freaking everywhere. Am I the only psycho that notices this? I understand that was her meal ticket, but is that really all she drinks? It can't be. And do restaurants really allow her to bring in her own alcohol? I mean maybe that's what happens when you are rich. Maybe you can apparently do things like that. But I can pretty much guarantee if I walked into a restaurant with a bottle of SkinnyGirl Margarita to drink, they would not only frown upon it, they would probably not allow me to drink it and potentially even ask me to leave.

"Real" Couples

Many TV shows have couples who have been married for a long time. Some are odd matches that you would never expect in real life. Usually a cute skinny woman and a shlumpy guy. Yet they have a pretty successful marriage even though occasional shenanigans occur. Then there are the couples on Reality TV shows. These are real marriages being filmed for our viewing pleasure. Now even though this is Reality television, we all know that so much of it is staged. There are always rumors in the tabloids about trouble in paradise behind the scenes, but its usually a love-fest when the camera rolls with the occasional bickering. And if there is fighting, its part of the "storyline" of the show. Regardless if they start in love, we watch them fall in love, or we watch them live out their love, these are some of my favorite reality TV couples.

1) Guiliana and Bill Rancic. If you don't watch this show, you are missing out. In its third season, Guiliana and Bill on the Style Network is really a fantastic show. These two are the real deal. Their love seems so genuine and they really do look like best friends. If you don't know who they are, Bill Rancic won the first ever Apprentice and Guiliana is one of the hosts of E! News. They met at an event and fell in love. They have such a playful relationship where you can see there is so much love and respect between them. And I can't help but love when she calls him by his last name. "Hey Rancic...come here." It's great. They are lovers and pals and I am really envious of the relationship they have. With all of the traumatic events Guiliana has been through in the last few months with miscarriages, failed attempts at in vitro, and her most recent bout with breast cancer, Bill has been by her side supporting and loving her. There really is no doubt that these two will last a lifetime together. I want a relationship just like theirs.