Here or There?

School's out for the summer. Woohoo! I am going home to Chicago in a couple days and I absolutely cannot wait. When I tell people I am going home, they know I mean back to Chicago (or the suburbs, that is), to my parents house. But the reality is, although Chicago is and will always be home to me, I have set up quite a nice life for myself here in New York and this is my home for now. I've been here for eight great years now and I def know I am in it to win it here in the big city for at least for another three (I want to teach 10 years in the NYC school system and get my lifetime health benefits) and then I will take it from there and see if its time to move back home to Chicago or continue my life here. From the girl who expected to come out here for a year and head back home, its been quite the journey. I still can't believe I have been here for so long. I am super grateful to have such a great job, a solid group of friends, and I just re-signed my lease for another two years. Things have been going well. And I am happy. 

Here's the thing, although I LOVE going home, I don't really have any friends there anymore. When I go home, I hang out with my family 99% of the time. Things are different than when I would come home after my first year or two out here and I'd send out an email to my girlfriends and we'd all try to get together for dinner/drinks. That's doesn't happen anymore. We grew apart. There's no bad blood, the distance just caused the friendships to basically be non-existent now.  I don't reach out to them and they don't reach out to me. I am a firm believer that the phone (or email) works both ways so we are both at fault.

Also, my two closest friends from home moved away. My best friend from college (married and a mom now) lives in St. Louis and my high school best friend lives in Milwaukee (also married and with two kids) so they are not that convenient to see but we do make time if they are in town and I love seeing them. Although its still weird for me that they are someone's mother. Haha. And like I already said, almost all of my other college/high school friends that live in Chicago are all married with their own groups of friends and their own lives.

Take me out to the ball game...

I am a huge sports fan. Always have been and always will be. I love both playing and watching sports. I am super athletic and grew up playing all sorts of sports.  And doing it well if I must say so myself. Also, growing up, my brother wasn't really into sports so my dad and I would watch many games together. Bulls. Bears. Illini. YES! I was the son he never had in that sense. Until of course, my brother actually became interested in watching games with him also.

Since I love watching sports so much, I rarely turn down the opportunity of going to a game live. Whether it's football, basketball or baseball, going to a collegiate or professional sporting event is such a blast. I don't go that often, but when I do, I like to take it all in. The people. The food (and the beer). The athletes themselves. And the actual competition. There are just so many great things about going to a sporting event.

Let's Keep It Alive

Hola! That's hello in Spanish. You're very welcome for dropping that little piece of knowledge on you. I took 6 years of Spanish but can barely speak it conversationally. I do know many words and can put a sentence together if need be but should know a lot more than I do. I lost so much of it over time. Spanish is one of those language that everyone seems to use and will throw in Spanish or even Spanglish words in everyday convo here and there. But most people know when they are using these non-English words and use them on purpose. But there is another language that people also use quite often and don't even realize its not English. That language is Yiddish.

Does anyone speak Yiddish anymore? Anyone besides my grandparents, that is? They both still speak pretty fluent Yiddish and speak it around us when they don't want us to know what they are talking about. They will talk about us right in front of our faces and we will have no idea what they are saying. Even though that can be sometimes be annoying, the Yiddish language is becoming lost and it's a damn shame.

I Can't Get Over It

I know at 30 and being single still, people always ask why. I mean I am clearly a catch and the fact that I still remain single is just a big mystery. Huge. Well I am going to let you in on a little secret: I am overly picky. Some may say shallow. Some might say superficial. And I am not saying they are wrong. I can be picky. I can be shallow. There are just certain things that I notice that I cannot get over when I meet a guy. I mean maybe if the guy was super amazing, I'd be able to get over it, but that hasn't happened yet. I am hoping that if it is someone I like enough, I will see past it to the point where I don't even notice it anymore. As I am trying to be more open minded, there are some things I just can't get over. Sorry. When a guy has one of the traits below, it it just pops out at me over and over again and it can't be ignored.

I don't think this would work either.

1) A bad name. I know this is totally out of the guy's control and we should all blame his parents for this, but whatever it may be, a bad name is a turn off. Geraldo, Alfonso, Gene, etc... I feel like guys my age shouldn't have names like that. They are more for the older generation. If I am embarrassed to say your name outloud, how can I introduce you to people without laughing and/or cringing? This is going to be a huge problem.

I wish I could get over this, but I can't. I once went on a date with guy named Boris. I never addressed him by name. In the two dates and few conversations via text we had, I never once called him by his name. I avoided it like the plague and was embarrassed to say it out loud to my friends.

Grow the F*** Up

I consider myself to have a pretty short temper. Well, maybe not so much a short temper, but little patience for stupidity, immaturity, and the ridiculous.  Little things aggravate me, but don't set me in a rage. It's not like I need anger management or anything, but certain things set me off more than others. When these times occur (like the case of the laundry bitch), I am what my mom would describe as "wild." I start to shake, I have to clench my fists, and I really have a huge desire to hit someone or something. Of course I would never lay my hands on anyone, but in those cases, I wish I had a punching bag in my immediate vicinity and could let out a very loud scream to release some of the anger. I try to vent to my mom or my friends and then try to walk it off, and sometimes it cools me down. Sometimes it doesn't.

Like I said, this rarely happens, but it just happened the other day. I was at work minding my own business playing on my phone. I went on Facebook and saw that I had a message.  I opened it immediately and noticed it was from my ex-boyfriend. The same ex-boyfriend who asked me to never contact him again in order to move on with his life and his new girlfriend (who is now his fiánce). The last time we had any contact with each other he once again told me how happy and in love he is. He loves reminding me and himself this little tidbit of information. If you need to keep telling yourself this over and over again, then its a little strange. I get it, since I broke up with you, you want to rub it in a little more that you found someone before me. Totally fine and understandable. But still a little weird. Anyway, because any relationship we had, romantic and platonic, was officially over, it was odd that I received any sort of message from him. All that it said was "I appreciate the thoughts on Father's Day but please unlike. Thanks." I was totally confused by this statement and wrote back "What are you talking about?" I was puzzled. I had zero idea what he was talking about. After being outraged for a second for him writing me to unlike something I clearly didn't like in the first place, I re-read the message. At this point I noticed his picture icon was one of his father. Then it hit me. He must have taken an old profile pic of his father that he used years ago and reposted it for Father's Day. I probably liked it years ago and he thought I just recently did. Idiot. 

Spreading the Gift of Poop

I have not denied my love for all things poop and farts (and also burps). They are all hilarious. Remember, everyone poops so you should never be shy about your bowels. You should know your audience, but you don't have to be shy about it. I know my audience pretty well and am grateful that many of my close friends are just as open about their bowels as I am. We talk about the frequency, the consistency and even the smell. Yes, we are very classy ladies! But once again, we know our audience and who we can and cannot discuss this stuff around. 

Because of all my GI issues (Hello again UC), much of this has become almost a running joke as to how open I can be. In fact, my friends and family will see things relating to poop and farts and often call or email me about it. Or even if they see something they know I would appreciate, they might buy it for me. I love a good gag gift. And if the gift is useful, that's even better. Three poop/fart related things I have received as gifts are below are are pretty awesome. They clearly show how much the people close to me know me so well.

1) Poo-Pourri. This gift actually came from one of my mom's closest friends. She knew I had been very ill and having more UC problems. She is super thoughtful and always buying gifts for people here and there. She saw this at a store and purchased one for my mom and one for me. It's a spray that you are supposed to spray in the toilet BEFORE you poop to eliminate the smell. Pretty genius idea. And also pretty clutch if you are pooping away from home. Things can get dicey when you don't have the home court advantage so having this (and even some matches) can help. I have yet to take it with me anywhere, basically because I forget, but I should give it a go elsewhere. I have tried it at home and it works decently. I mean, it definitely is better than nothing. It smells pretty nice and as the container says "Spritz in the bowl before you go and no one else will ever know."

Women Behaving Badly

I love reality TV as much as the next girl and usually if its on VH1, MTV, or Bravo I am tuning in. I also know that the more drama there is, the higher the ratings are. However, there comes a point where enough is enough with the dramz. The point where bullying (Basketball Wives I am looking at you especially) and pure nastiness occurs and its just too much. It loses its entertainment value and really just becomes unwatchable. I mean these are usually made up of grown-ass women. And in the case of many, grown-ass WEATLHY women. One would think that they would have some idea of common courtesy and class. But you know what Countess Luanne says "Money can't buy you class. Elegance is learned." She apparently speaks the truth. (Too bad she doesn't always follow her own advice.)

Usually in these reality shows, these women are forced to be around each other and booze in involved. Lots of booze. And when this happens, tempers seem to flare even more. I understand that most of the women probably wouldn't be friends or even spend any time together if the cameras weren't rolling, but geez. Some of the ladies actually do claim to be friends when the cameras aren't rolling and still go at each other's throats. It's amazing to me. And not in a good way.

It seems more and more shows are featuring the women's cattiness and trash talk and actually encourage it. Producers set up scenes where it can be featured and often times, situations seem to escalate where there is no reason for it to. Below are a few shows where this happens more times than not. I currently only watch one of them (I stopped with the rest), but am disgusted by the women's actions and thinking I might call it quits before the new season airs. You would think that the women who star in these shows would want a positive light to shine on them in the spotlight, but I guess sometimes any light will do.

I Heart Lists!

If you are a constant reader of this blog, you may have learned, or even noticed that I love making lists. I have a ton of them on here. Lists of things that I love. Things that annoy me. Movies I know by heart. Songs I shake my ass to. Men I want to marry. You get the point though.  Lists help me organize my thoughts and ideas. And I find them to be more pleasurable to read than regular paragraphs and complete sentences.

I am such a type-A personality and you will find lists on Post-It's around my apartment, on my phone, and in my planner. (Yes, I still buy a Chandler's every school year and it's gives me tremendous pleasure to fill it out each July.) There are few greater pleasures in life than to cross something off a list after you do it. Complete satisfaction. I will even admit sometimes I will add stuff to my list that don't necessarily need to go on there and do it quickly just to cross it out.

E-R.U.Kidding Me?

Its 2012. Many people have turned to internet dating to find their significant others. Websites like JDate, eHarmony, and Match are super popular. Heck, even ChristianMingle.com. I see commercials for that site all the time. And giggle like an idiot each time. That is not the route I would choose to go. But there is a site for everyone apparently.

I know many people who have joined these websites, however, none of my friends have had much success with it. Nobody has had horror stories either, but the experiences have just been mediocre at best. I know that my friends put themselves out there and truly make their profiles the best they can be. However, some of the guys they look at may not do the same. When people make a profile for a dating website like this, you would think they would want to put their best foot forward and give the best possible first impression they can. After all, they are most likely spending money to go on this site, so they might as well get the most out of it as possible, right?

Of course I (and so many others) judge a book by its cover and look at the profile picture first when looking at someone else's profile. This tells a woman a lot about the man's profile she may or may not read after seeing the initial profile pic. However, there are some really bad ones out there. Ones where you can look at and in less than a second know that you have seen enough. So what are those cases?

Moving on...

1) You have no picture. I mean, really? Are you for real? Are you that hideous? Are you someone that claims that physical appearance doesn't matter? (That's a crock of horseshit!) Or were you just too lazy to upload any photos? If that is the case, there is no way any respectable woman would dare continue to read on. I mean, why would anyone (read: any sane person) go on a date with someone they met on the internet that has no picture? No one I know would ever do that. Ever.

Seemingly Gone, but not Forgotten

There are a lot of popular movies from the late eighties/early nineties that are cult hits among women my age. Movies that we grew up with and still love today. Troop Beverly Hills. Pretty Woman. Goonies. Dirty Dancing. Revenge of the Nerds. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. And the list goes on. These movies have continued to be popular and loved through the years and are still even on TV today quite often. They are also movies that I will watch every time they are on even though I own ALL of them.

Then there are the more forgotten-about movies that I use to also love when I was younger. Maybe I just forget about them because they aren't on nearly as often, but if I do happen to catch them, I get super excited! These are also classics. At least to me. Hopefully you have heard of these and know how great they are. And if not, you might have missed out a tiny bit in your youth. Its okay though.


1) My Boyfriend's Back. This was actually a made-for-TV movie, but I loved it. I actually bought it off Amazon last year and have watched it quite a few times since. This movie had a great cast: Sandy Duncan, Judith Light, and Jill Eikenberry to name the bigger names. It's about an all girl's singing group from the 60's that broke up after fighting and is asked to get back together for a reunion special in the late 80's. The music and the plot are so great (there is even a mini love triangle) and I highly recommend this to anyone who hasn't seen it.

50 Shades of Meh

As the weather gets nicer and nicer and my tanorexia sets in, my need to be outside more and more increases, and so does my desire to read. As big of a TV fan as I am, summer shoes are just okay and my DVR rarely has more than 3 shows on it at once. The combination of weather and bad summer TV gives me the opportunity to get in a lot more reading. I often do it by the pool, at the beach, or laying in Central Park. With that being said, one of the most popular trilogies right now that everyone is talking about is 50 Shades of Grey by E.L James.

I kept hearing about this book wherever I would go. Women of all ages were talking about it. My Facebook newsfeed was all abuzz about it. So of course I had to find out what all the fuss is about. But here's where it gets tricky. This is not your normal chick lit read. This is kind of soft core porn/erotica that has somehow become mainstream and totally acceptable to read. First it was available only on e-readers, then the paperbacks came out. What this means also is at first when women were reading it, no one else really knew it because it was on their Kindle, Nook, or iPad and no one could see the cover of the book. Now if someone is reading the real-deal book version, everyone knows. And lord help those nosey people that look over someone's shoulder on the train (I am raising my hand here!) to see what they are reading. They will probably blush quite a bit.

Lets hope this works!

This is me getting excited to feel 100% healthy again!

So I know everyone was soooo concerned where I have been the last week. Uh-huh...sure. Well I took a little one week hiatus with the holiday weekend, being overly swamped at work, and once again having a little Ulcerative Colitis flare-up. Ugh. Again. My fourth one of the year, and only a mere three weeks after getting off the 'roids from my last one. I have had more flares this year alone than in the past five years combined. And I don't know why. It's getting a little annoying to say the least.

I had a good few weeks of feeling 100 percent again, and they were great. I was running. I was eating pretty much whatever I wanted again. (Minus popcorn. I have yet to start eating that again. And I kind of miss it but am a little apprehensive!) And I was drinking. It was fun times in my life and now, here I am again, feeling cruddy. On the pain/discomfort scale (you know that scale with the faces from 1-10 in like every doctor's office?) I am prob at a 3 right now where as my last flare was a 9.5. I just don't want it to get to that level. Ever again. I am really trying to nip this one in the bud.