How Social Media Affects My Running Game

Like most people my age, I am constantly on my phone. I am either checking emails, texting (or even calling) friends, peeping Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc... There are few times when I am actually "unplugged" and "off the grid" and running is one of those times.  Although my phone is almost always with me in case I get lost, have an emergency, or need to snap a great picture (duh), it is always kept put away in a pocket and kept on silent. However, often times on a run, I will catch some beautiful scenery and have to snap a picture. I love getting a beautiful sunrises or sunset, a general landscape of wherever I running through, street art that I stumble upon (or even seek out), and post-race or post-run accomplishment pictures. Some people may find it annoying that I post running pictures all the time, and frankly I don't care, because taking these picture pre-run, during the run, or post-run helps keep me accountable. And let's not forget, they're fun and pretty to look at as well. There has been a lot of debate lately if smartphones have ruined racing or running as a sport and I'd have to say I do not think they have one bit. Smartphones can do a lot for a runner like track distance, pace, and calories. They hold your most amazing playlist or podcast or e-book that keeps you going at it. And they can connect you to like-minded people via social media; that's the part I want to focus on today.

IG So Me.

Insta. IG. The Gram. Whatever you might call it, Instagram is the shit. I love it. I mean, who doesn't? I'm not gonna lie, when it first came out, I totally didn't get it. I was like "What's the point of just posting a picture?" It just didn't make sense to me. But now, I get it. I totally get it. And I really, really like it. I like posting my own pics. And I like looking at other people's pics.

I don't follow a ridiculous amount of people on Instagram. I follow a bunch of friends, some random Chicago and NYC scenery and food accounts, some workout and inspirational accounts, and then some humor accounts. (Surprisingly enough I follow very few celebrities. And of those, not surprisingly enough most of them are either reality stars of athletes. The reason I don't follow many celebrities is that many of them post waaaay too often and its them posting selflies and/or advertising some product they clearly don't use but are being paid to pretend to use. (For the record I totally hate-follow Kim Kardashian. She's sucks. I cringe at everything she posts, but won't unfollow her.  I realize I am the problem with our shameful society and one of the reasons she is the most followed celeb on Instagram, but I am not at the point of unfollow yet. And I stress yet. Ugh, she's seriously the worst.)

Swipe and Wipe

I've now spent about a week on Tinder and boy have I seen a lot. For about every 75-100 guys I see, I swipe right on maybe 1-2 of them. Geez. This definitely feels more like playing a game on my phone than online dating. This is probably why I like it.

Some of my friends know that I joined so we've been talking about it more. We were talking about how it actually seems that there might be nice guys on there that are looking for actual relationships like a regular dating website. They see Tinder as a means of not having to put any effort into a profile and still have some good options. When they go on sites like OKCupid or Match, they have to fill out time consuming surveys and profiles, but on Tinder, its just a sentence or two and a couple pics. Easy-peasy. And once again, you can't contact anyone or be contacted anyone if it wasn't a mutual swipe right between the two of you.

Left!

So my curiosity finally got the best of me...I did it...I bit the bullet and downloaded Tinder to my phone. (Relax mom!!) Almost all my single friends have it and use it or have used it in the past. And I always hear people talking about it and although I know I won't meet my future husband using it, (and I'm super anti-online dating) I downloaded it. And I have to admit, it's kind of fun. It's like a game! I mean, I'm excellent at pre-judging people on their looks so this app is just up my alley.

Is Strong really the New Skinny?

Go on Instagram and search any of the fitness related hashtags (#fitspo, #fitfam, #fitness, etc...) or accounts. There are a ridiculous amount of them and they are insane. Training tips. Meal prep. Bangin' bodies. Motivational quotes. I sometimes find myself falling into that rabbit hole and have to crawl my way out, sometimes with inspiration and sometimes feeling like a fat beast.

Lately all the rage in the fitness (and dare I say mainstream) world seems to be that "Strong is the new skinny" or "Fit > skinny." This new frame of mind should make me happy. It's something I have always thought actually, but now seems to be gaining some momentum with everyone else. I never wanted to be a skinny-mini;  I wanted a toned, chiseled frame. Although, I do have an athletic build, I constantly struggle with the way I look and accepting my body because it isn't what I want it to be. Having this new change in direction of what is attractive should work for me to some degree with body-image issues, right? Well...I'm not so sure about that.

Thought Catalog Had Me Thinking!

So this is a post I've been wanting to write for a few weeks now, but just didn't have it in me. I didn't know if I had the words or even the courage to write it all out. And then today, as I do everyday, I was reading Thought Catalog. And as I do everyday, I found an article that I think "damn, is this person in my head?" Sometimes these articles are about dating and relationships, sometimes random New York (or Chicago) observations, and sometimes self-image. Today, I found one particular article about self-image that resonated with me so freaking much. It was as if I could have written it myself. The article, written by an anonymous author was very personal and very honest. I know that many of you know me personally so there is no anonymity for what I am about to write here. However, at the end of the day, this blog is mine and the content is for ME. Sure other people (family, friends, and even strangers) read it and get a peak into my life and into my brain, but it is also a diary of sorts and since my current funk has been a part of my life lately, it should belong on here in one way or another.  

Shameless Promotion

Over past three years while having this blog, I have shared a lot of things. Some of them funny and ridiculous. And some thoughtful and serious about my everyday life. And of course, I have honestly (and sometimes graphically) shared my struggles related to my Ulcerative Colitis. I have explained what happens to me when I have a UC flare, why I may get the flare, what happens when I am steroids to treat the flare, and how it affects my mental game too. When I am sick, it obviously affects me so much physically, but what some people don't realize is that when you get sick over and over again, its annoying because you can't live your life and therefore affects you a lot mentally too. When you are flaring, you can't do the things you love and sometimes, you can't even do the little everyday things you take for granted. To get sick, then better, then sick then better, over and over can be frustrating. You get knocked down and have to get back up over and over without fear of it happening again.

A Few Do's and Don'ts of Online Dating

Over the last two weeks, the topic of online dating has come up in a number of conversations with quite a few of my friends and even some colleagues. Many of them are on Match, JDate, OKCupid, Tindr, and perhaps even a few others. Some of my good friends will show me me pictures and profiles of guys and ask my opinion. I even love getting a text from some of them with a screenshot of a picture of a potential suitor or complete wacko. I will get a screenshot with the text "Thoughts?" Or they will forward a bizarre or creepy message that someone sent them. And some even screenshot and share the creepiest ones on FB or Insta for a good laugh. There are a lot of freaking weird-ass people out there who use online dating sites. And they tend to give a bad name to all the normal ones who do it too. Confession: I have tried Match before.  I hated it. It just wasn't for me. I wanted to be open minded to it, and at first I was. But I lasted maybe four weeks before I finally called it quits and let the rest of my subscription run out. By week two, I knew I was over it, but figured I would do a full month. Meh. A lot of the people emailing me clearly weren't reading my profile and what I was interested in and looking for. Like, I am not looking for a 54-year-old divorceé who loves cats and chess and lives deep in Staten Island, so please don't write me. It's never gonna happen. Oh, and one dude asked me to meet him in Florida for a "quick trip." Um, we have never met. Psycho.

Courting: Lets bring it back

I just recently read a New York Times article titled "The End of Courtship." The article discussed how single young people (and I include myself in that entire description) in today's society don't really go on real dates anymore. And it's a shame. The article was super relatable, interesting, and on point for the most part. I couldn't really argue with the facts the author gave, but I don't have to like them or stand to accept them. I think the real issue with the lack of people going on real dates these days is that guys are lazy and girls are accepting this. If men can get away with these things, they are going to continue to do them. Clearly I am no dating expert as I am a lonely 31-year-old single Manhattanite with no prospects on the horizon but I do know what I want and what I deserve and I will continue to stand my ground with that.

There were several points in the article that really seemed to jump out at me as something that I have noticed lately with guys and dating. While I don't date excessively, I can tell you this, when I meet a guy, he will make a plan with me, he will take me out, and he will pay. (Some people might disagree with the last one, but I am sticking to my guns on this one even though it is 2013.)  Most of my friends will agree with that too and from what I know have the same expectations as I do when it comes to a courtship.

Anyway, things have obviously changed in the dating game over the last few decades, but that doesn't mean courting someone should become obsolete. Below are my thoughts on some of the reasons on why this "trend" might be happening in response to different parts of the article...

Hooked

I've been watching the new show on MTV called Catfish: The TV Show. It's a television show based off the 2010 documentary by the same name. I had never seen the documentary but had heard about it and the topic was interesting.  In the movie, the main character, Nev, began an online relationship with a female and the film crew followed him as he discovered who she really was. (And it was not who she had perceived herself to be.) She was indeed a "catfish," which Wikipedia defines as "a person who creates fake profiles online and pretends to be someone they are not by using someone else's pictures and information."

The premise of the show is very similar in topic and shooting style. Each week, the one hour TV-show follows someone who has an online relationship with another person, usually for an extensive period of time, but has never met the person. It's the job of Nev and his friend Max, to uncover what the real deal is. Spoiler: The person is rarely, if ever, who they really say they are.

Respect the Runner

Runners come in all shapes and sizes.

I don't want to be that girl that only writes about running because it can be a snooze. But since it's been a big part of my life the last few weeks and will be for at least another four weeks, just bare with me. I am going to write about it again. Trying not to make a habit of it though. :)

It's no secret that this year has been a brutal one for me health-wise. I had a broken foot and four Ulcerative Colitis flare-ups, including one hospitalization. Because of my health, running to took a back seat. I just didn't have the energy. And when I finally started to feel better, I had very little motivation and desire to work out and run. This past June, I ran my first road race. It was a 5-mile race in Central Park and I had barely run in over two months so this was probably a stupid idea anyway. Who runs a 5-mile race and doing zero physical activity and being really sick? Um, well, I do. I did. And it was a HUGE mistake. I ran the race. And then went home and cried. My time was awful. It was so freaking slow. And I was upset.  My health was improving but my morale was down. My friends tried to console me saying that I should be happy I finished the 5-mile race after being inactive and sick for so long. They were proud of me. I tried to see it that way, but just couldn't. I understand for those that don't run that far of a distance, this can be a great achievement, but I was just not a happy camper. I wish I could have been because they were right. But I just kept thinking "after not running for so long, would I ever get back in it?" Would I have the heart and the right head on my shoulders to keep at it after this demoralizing race? Well, I think we all know the answer is yes now. To think that in a little less than a month I will be running 26.2 miles is really exciting for me and I am grateful that my body has held up thus far. It has certainly come a long way since that 5-mile debacle in June. 

Grow the F*** Up

I consider myself to have a pretty short temper. Well, maybe not so much a short temper, but little patience for stupidity, immaturity, and the ridiculous.  Little things aggravate me, but don't set me in a rage. It's not like I need anger management or anything, but certain things set me off more than others. When these times occur (like the case of the laundry bitch), I am what my mom would describe as "wild." I start to shake, I have to clench my fists, and I really have a huge desire to hit someone or something. Of course I would never lay my hands on anyone, but in those cases, I wish I had a punching bag in my immediate vicinity and could let out a very loud scream to release some of the anger. I try to vent to my mom or my friends and then try to walk it off, and sometimes it cools me down. Sometimes it doesn't.

Like I said, this rarely happens, but it just happened the other day. I was at work minding my own business playing on my phone. I went on Facebook and saw that I had a message.  I opened it immediately and noticed it was from my ex-boyfriend. The same ex-boyfriend who asked me to never contact him again in order to move on with his life and his new girlfriend (who is now his fiánce). The last time we had any contact with each other he once again told me how happy and in love he is. He loves reminding me and himself this little tidbit of information. If you need to keep telling yourself this over and over again, then its a little strange. I get it, since I broke up with you, you want to rub it in a little more that you found someone before me. Totally fine and understandable. But still a little weird. Anyway, because any relationship we had, romantic and platonic, was officially over, it was odd that I received any sort of message from him. All that it said was "I appreciate the thoughts on Father's Day but please unlike. Thanks." I was totally confused by this statement and wrote back "What are you talking about?" I was puzzled. I had zero idea what he was talking about. After being outraged for a second for him writing me to unlike something I clearly didn't like in the first place, I re-read the message. At this point I noticed his picture icon was one of his father. Then it hit me. He must have taken an old profile pic of his father that he used years ago and reposted it for Father's Day. I probably liked it years ago and he thought I just recently did. Idiot. 

E-R.U.Kidding Me?

Its 2012. Many people have turned to internet dating to find their significant others. Websites like JDate, eHarmony, and Match are super popular. Heck, even ChristianMingle.com. I see commercials for that site all the time. And giggle like an idiot each time. That is not the route I would choose to go. But there is a site for everyone apparently.

I know many people who have joined these websites, however, none of my friends have had much success with it. Nobody has had horror stories either, but the experiences have just been mediocre at best. I know that my friends put themselves out there and truly make their profiles the best they can be. However, some of the guys they look at may not do the same. When people make a profile for a dating website like this, you would think they would want to put their best foot forward and give the best possible first impression they can. After all, they are most likely spending money to go on this site, so they might as well get the most out of it as possible, right?

Of course I (and so many others) judge a book by its cover and look at the profile picture first when looking at someone else's profile. This tells a woman a lot about the man's profile she may or may not read after seeing the initial profile pic. However, there are some really bad ones out there. Ones where you can look at and in less than a second know that you have seen enough. So what are those cases?

Moving on...

1) You have no picture. I mean, really? Are you for real? Are you that hideous? Are you someone that claims that physical appearance doesn't matter? (That's a crock of horseshit!) Or were you just too lazy to upload any photos? If that is the case, there is no way any respectable woman would dare continue to read on. I mean, why would anyone (read: any sane person) go on a date with someone they met on the internet that has no picture? No one I know would ever do that. Ever.

Pin on my friends

Have you joined Pinterest yet? What are you waiting for? Your invitation? That's right, you need an invitation to join. You can't just sign up and begin pinning like a madwoman (or madman) just quite yet. You have to patiently wait until you get your email to join and then you can start your new obsession.

What is Pinterest you may ask? Well its basically an online pinboard for everything imagineable...cooking/baking, clothes, travel locales, hobbies, wedding ideas, books, movies...basically anything imagineable. And let me tell you, my imagination is going a little wild. I have pinboards for stuff I want to bake, clothes and shoes I wear (and wish I could afford to buy), hairstyles, gifts I want, vacation spots, inspirational quotes, etc... If I was reasonably close to having a wedding or if I had kids, I would def have pinboards for each of those topics too. There are really some great ideas on there for everything. But for the time being, I am trying to be relatively realistic in what I pin in the hopes I actually do use try it one day. But really, what am I trying to prove to myself?

Put Her in the Pic?

On occasion myself or a friend will meet a cute guy that we are attracted to. We don't know much about him. Maybe a mutual friend or two, and of course his first (and hopefully last) name. And what do you think one of the first things we do is when we get back home after being a little smitten? Why duh, its look them up on Facebook of course! We want to see their picture(s) or any other info we can get. Specifically, we want to see if there is another woman in that picture (literally and figuratively). Does he have a girlfriend? We can all safely assume he isn't married if he isn't wearing a ring. One would hope so at least. And lets be serious, at my age, one of the first things I do when I meet a guy is look directly down at his left ring finger. Is there a ring? Please no, don't have a ring on. And if he does, bummer. And if not, there is always a glimmer of hope.

OMG...Delete. Delete. Delete.

Over the years there has obviously been an increase in technology. So much stuff that I am thankful wasn't around when I was in high school and college because lord knows how much trouble I could have gotten myself into with my stupidity and tendency to rush, especially when drunk. Now with the advent of having smartphones and having the internet literally right at your fingertips every waking moment, there is always the opportunity to embarrass and/or make an ass of yourself. You know those moments when you want to reach out into cyberspace and take back what you just sent? I have experienced this more than I'd like to admit, but its a good thing I am not easily embarrassed.  Below are some funny experiences I or a friend have had using our phones where we literally wanted to scream because of mortification that we just caused ourselves by rushing, not thinking, and pressing send way too fast. Hey, it happens to the best of us.

1. Texting the wrong person. This isn't a huge deal and has probably happened to quite a few people. Multiple times. I have done it tons of times, usually over stupid things. However, when you are texting a friend about someone else and accidentally text that "someone else," this becomes a problem.  A short time ago, I had gone out with some friends and drank a little too much. Okay, a lot too much. I ended up making out with two different guys that night (be real proud mom. Ha!). My second make-out of the evening texted me in the morning to ask how I was feeling. He also must have noticed that I had been pretty drunk when we parted. I honestly didn't expect to, or care to hear from him again, but was nonetheless surprised to hear from him the very next day. Apparently I made quite the first impression, natch. Later that day, I went on to text one of my friends who was out with me the night before. At least I thought that was who I was texting when I nonchalantly typed "Makeout #2 texted me this morn to see how I was feeling. Guess I was pretty out of control last night." However, after sending the text, I realized that I did not text my friend, but texted the guy. As soon as I realized this I started freaking out. After shouting an "OMG" to no one imparticular on the street, I followed it up by an "Oooops, ignore me" text to this very gentleman which was followed up by him with an "LOL." Good thing I don't plan on talking to/seeing this guy again. And good thing he took it lightly or was just too dumb to realize he was makeout number TWO. Sucka.

I have also been on the receiving end of this error with a guy I had liked a lot. I was happy to see that I was getting a text from him until I realized he was meaning to write to someone else about ME. Once I got the text I thought about not replying at all but decided to follow it up with "That obviously wasn't for me, but about me" I was met with an "Oh shit" from him and many apologies. He was obviously embarrassed and it wasn't even a bad text. Thankfully.  It was a funny story about the weekend's previous events (not suitable to discuss here since my parents read this!), so I could laugh about it as well. It was def the icing on the cake of a "did that really just happen to me?" story.

A Blessing and a Curse

Pretty much everyone I know is on Facebook. Not everyone is that active, but they go on enough to know what is going on in other people's lives. I have no shame in admitting I check Facebook quite often. I like knowing what's going on in the lives of those I use to be very close to not to mention the usual FB stalking and creeping. Duh. Whether or not our real friendships ended (on good terms or bad) or we are actually friends in real life, I will periodically check your page to see what's new if you once were someone I was close to. I can't help it. Having Facebook can sometimes be a blessing and curse. There are so many pros and cons to Mark Zuckerberg's monster. So much so that the things we love so much about Facebook are the very things we hate. Behold...

"Shit" is funny

A new trend in viral videos has hit the web and they are, in a word: Hilarious. It all started with a Twitter account @shitgirlssay that became so popular that the writers decided to create a web series with the ever so clever name "Shit Girls Say." You must live in a bubble if you haven't seen this video yet because it was all over the place last week and guess what, I couldn't stop watching it. Over and over again. And every single time I saw it, I laughed out loud. It's just so spot-on, you can't help but see a little bit of yourself somewhere in this video. I mean, how many times have we said these things and acted this way? It's so wrong, its right.

This video became such a hit that many parodies were instantly created. Some of them were pretty fantastic as well and had me rolling. These include:

"Shit Gays Say" I didn't need this video to tell me that many things gay guys say could easily come out of my mouth at any given moment. "Ex-squeeze me" but this is pretty damn funny.

"Shit Black Girls Say" Once again, even though I am a white girl, I easily have said 90% of these things. "Beeetch", you know its true. And if you don't find it funny, you can "Pack your Playstation and get out." Amaze.

 And the newest addition "Shit Girls Say-Episode 2".  Might be funnier than the first. Can't. Stop. Watching. And laughing.

 These are "So good, right?" Obviously made to poke fun at everyone equally, they really magnify stereotypes we make. And give humor to them. And funny as these are, they (all of them!!) do make me stop and think "Gee, do I really sound like this?" And unfortunately, I think the answer may be yes. And do I care? Nope.

Damn You Facebook!

Do you ever get that feeling where you hit it off with a guy and then when the time comes to part ways, nothing happens? There is that awkward pause on what (if anything) is going to happen next and then you are all "K, nice to meet you, bye." No exchange of numbers or emails or anything? It's kind of disappointing, right? Well, yeah. This has happened to me a couple times and in my head I think "Wow, maybe I read that whole situation wrong and totally made up the chemistry we had." Then I second guess myself. Kinda sucks. But it is what it is. I am a woman of the 2000's, I can make the move after if I want to. (And really, if he was just that into me, wouldn't he have just done it?)

The most recent of this event happened in September. I went to a Giants Monday Night Football game with some friends.  When we got to our seats, next to us were some normal looking guys our age, which is always a good thing.  I started talking with one of them who was one seat away from me. We kept talking over his friend (who sat in between us) and seemed to actually hit it off, chatting flirtatiously most of the game. He even offered multiple times to get me a drink, some ice cream, etc... Eventually he asked if he could switch seats with his friend and we sat next to each other the rest of the game. We covered the usual about each other as far as what we do, where we went to school, where we are from, etc... All seemed to be going pretty well for what I thought would be at the very least, an exchange of information for future contact. However, when my friends and I left the game after the third quarter because it was a snooze fest at that point, we said goodbye to each other and then...nothing. I for sure thought he'd ask for my digits. But he didn't. Bummer. I wasn't going to initiate asking for his information because I didn't care THAT much (he was G-U (Geographically Undesirable) after all) to me, but there was mild disappointment on my end. 

Anyway, cut to this weekend, I was reading an article online about how Facebook has this "Other" section in their "Messages" that hides messages from people that you are not friends with or have no mutual friends with. I decided to see if I had this section, which I obviously do, (cause everyone does!) and lo and behold, there was a message from the cute guy from the Giants game from the night we met in September! WTF?! How could I have missed this? Fucking Facebook!! I mean we could be happily dating by now. Totally kidding. Or more likely, I could have already gone out with him once, found something wrong with him, and written him off already. Also kidding. Kind of. But seriously, I mean, how did I not know about this secret message section until now? This means, after the game, he actually searched for me on Facebook, and found me, which isn't an easy task. I have a pretty common name and live in an enormous city so kudos to you fella. You have good Facebook stalking skills! A man after my own heart.

So here I was on a Friday night with this new Facebook message from someone I was attracted to for a night two months ago.  Kind of exciting. But man was I pissed I didn't get the message then. Damage done though. I decided even though two-and-a-half months had gone by I would write him back anyway. Hey, I have nothing to lose at this point. And so I did. And we corresponded back and forth a few messages and then nothing. I mean two months have passed, so maybe the little interest he had was gone. If that was the case though, why bother even writing back (and in a flirtatious manner at that)? (I mean I guess I could have initiated a meet-up or something, but eh, whatever.)

I really don't know why he wrote me two months ago. Maybe he was too nervous to ask for my number at the game? Or just wanted to continue to chat? Or was just bored? Whatever it was, I wish I would have gotten the message back then because he obviously went out of his way to find me and write me. Regardless of what might have happened then (and the fact I got nothing out of it now), I now know how to get my "other messages" from Facebook so something like this won't happen again. Next time I meet a cute guy and we seem to hit it off and he doesn't ask for my number, I will either man up and ask for his or can only hope his shyness will not hinder him from finding me on Facebook and messaging me. Challenge extended gentlemen.

Evolution of Technology

Growing up, we had pretty limited ways to communicate with the opposite sex. It was pretty much talk to them in person or call them on the phone. Lame. This is probably the reason that people of my generation seem to have slightly better interpersonal and social skills than those born ten years later.  Although we do rely heavily on technology, part of me is very glad that Facebook and text messaging didn't exist when I was in high school and college. I fear it would have gotten me in many more embarrassing situations than it already has. As an adult, I sometimes make bad decisions using my phone while drunk, so I can't imagine what kind of damage I could have done in my wilder, more immature days. 

Back in the day when I liked a guy, I would freak out about what I was going to say on the phone if I called him.  I would totally plan it out in my head on what I would say and hope there were not awkward pauses during our conversation.  Sometimes, I would actually hope his answering machine would pick up so I could leave a message and he'd have to call back and start the conversation. You see, when I was in middle school and high school, there were no cell phones (although I did have car phone in my car in high school. Yes, I was that cool. Still am. Some things don't change.)  Back then, you'd have to actually call a boy at his house. Sometimes if he didn't have his own phone line, his parents would even answer and you'd have to be super polite when asking to talk to speak to him.  In college, myself and most of my friends got our first cell phones, but if you liked someone, you still had to actually call them on the phone. Annoying. Nerve-wracking. AIM became very big so you could IM your crush if you had their screenname. And once you had that, you could also totally creep their away messages and see what they were up to until AIM came up with that feature that showed how many times people saw your away message. Buzzkill.

I know I am totally dating myself, but at the end of senior year of college, text messaging started to become all the rage. I still remember my very first text message. My phone had this weird icon and kept beeping and I had no idea what was going on. I finally read this message but had no idea what it was and how to respond. Eventually I got the hang of it and haven't looked back since. Also senior year of college, Friendster was kind of something of a social networking tool, but we weren't totally sure what exactly, but it wasn't a big of a deal at all.  Next came MySpace which was a social networking phenomena until Facebook came on the scene and changed everything. Everything.

Nowadays if you meet a guy and like him, you can first Facebook stalk him. Obvi. Usually this is pretty easy to do but can have mixed results. Is his profile is so private that you can't get any new info? (Annoying.) Or is his wall and and all his pics available to see? (This equates to him being too dumb to update his privacy setting. Ugh.) If you like what you see or can't find anything, this is usually followed up with the text. You have to be careful here because you don't want to have just a texting relationship which can build high expectations in your head and then fizzle fast.

No one picks up the phone to make an actual call these days. And usually if they do, I am impressed.  If I actually am interested in you, I will answer your call, but more often than not, I don't, because lets be honest, if I barely want to text you, what makes you think I actually want to talk to you? But I have to admit, I sometimes wish it was "normal" to just pick up the phone and talk for a while instead of texting back and forth. And this is coming from someone who doesn't even really like talking on the phone. You can accomplish so much more getting to know someone a bit in a half hour phone convo versus a two hour texting convo.  However, some people, myself included on occasion, feel that they can be more outgoing via text or even FB messaging. You can type what you want and edit it before you press send to make sure its perfect. I get it. And I do the same thing sometimes, but I really do miss an old fashioned phone call asking me out on a date. It's still okay over text, but it lacks the intimacy of a phone call.

All of these communication technology tools have been incredible and I am sure it will only continue to improve. But as it gets better, I feel that social skills, especially involving courting and dating, will continue to get worse and I am not okay with this, especially in my singledom. Things don't need to get even harder. Even though I sometimes benefit from this technology because someone that might not have picked up the phone would not have asked me out does via text, and vice-versa, but this is probably one the big reasons relationships these days aren't as strong and last as long as they should.  I am hoping that in the future, if you really like someone, its worth just picking up the phone. Believe me, I am worth it.