Summer is Dunzo

Well, September has come and its almost gone and I didn't write one post this month. What the heck?!?! This is hasn't happened once since starting this blog and I'm not about to have it happen now. So, as I sit in the hospital during my Remicade treatment, why not write a post of what's been going on lately? Right?!?!?

I feel like a lot has been going on, but at the same time, very little has also been going on. Summer is officially over and that's fucking depressing. I really had such an incredible summer that, like every other teacher out there, I didn't want it to end. (I also am in severe denial that my tan is fading. Sigh.) So now that summer is dunzo, the school year is in full swing, and fall has begun, here's what's been going on with me...

DC: Hot Temps and Hotter Security

This weekend I decided to treat myself to a mini, pre-#rayrayseurovacay2; I went on, shall we say #rayraysDCweekendgetaway. I just love making hashtags for these. #sorrynotsorry. But anyway, there was no specific reason I went except that I wanted to. With all the traveling I did last summer on #rayrayspacNWvacay I had racked up enough credit with hotels.com to earn a free nights stay in any hotel in the US up to $250 a night. Pretty sweet, right? Well, the offer expired July 17 and since I'll be in Europe then, I had to act on this before then if I wanted to use it. I thought about using it on a staycation in NYC but quickly decided against that. I figured it was only right to spend money to save money (as so many of us do) so I was going to use this and make a fun weekend of it. The only decision now was choosing between Boston and DC and find a weekend with no race or event. Well, this weekend was the only one, and DC it was. I've been watching a ridiculous amount of Scandal lately on Netflix so seeing all the beautiful the DC scenery made my decision super easy. Olivia Pope, I was coming for a visit. 

Lately...

I know I have been kind of MIA lately but life has been so hectic. A lot has been going on and my mind has been racing and my body has been moving. It's been hard to slow down for a second and really write. Nothing specific has really happened that has inspired me to write a post but since so much has been happening, I thought I'd kind of put it out there what I've been doing and what I've been into.

In the last month, I still have been living the usual life of working out, work, basketball, sleep, repeat. Of course there is eating in there (you can trust me on that), but that's about it.  I have time for the occasional errands and TV (duh!!) but not much else because in the little down time I get, I try to get just lay around alone to maintain my sanity. It's amazing though how you can be around people literally all day and then want some alone time, but then be lonely. But it's true because it happens to me every day.

All in all though, I can't really complain that much of my recent coming and goings, but here's the recent scoop of what's new. Here's what's been happening lately...

1) I discovered Broad City. Ummm where has this show been all my life? I don't know why it took me so long to find my absolute new favorite TV show, but this is it. Broad City is the shit. My parents bought Amazon Prime when it went on sale a few weeks ago and I got access to the account, naturally. I then ordered the Amazon Fire stick, and vóila, this was on there. I had heard about it a few times in passing but didn't really know what it was about. But as soon as I started it, I couldn't stop. It was freaking hilarious. Abbi and Ilana are my spirit animals and we need to be friends. They are too fucking funny. Seriously, if you haven't seen this show, start now. I am now all caught up with real time and it sucks having to wait a week in between episodes. #firstworldproblems

Reality Me?

With the 22nd and final season of the Real World just starting on MTV last week, it has got me thinking 1) I am so old compared to these people 2) I wish I could('ve) be(en) on that show and never went for it. I am not embarrassed or ashamed to admit I still watch and enjoy this show. I have seen every single season and still find it entertaining. It was the show that started it all.

Now most of you know, I love me some reality TV. I mix it all up with some quality shows (Parenthood, Blue Bloods, Girls, etc...) also, but I can't give up the good stuff. In fact, there are some reality shows that I not only continue to watch if still on the air, but wouldn't mind being on if given the opportunity. Seriously. I think I would make for great TV. Facts. With all that being said, here are the six reality shows that I would LOVE to be on...

Needy is No-No

I have recently gotten HBO so of course I have been watching some old episodes of Girls. (I'm getting ready for the new season. Woohoo!) Obviously being a 31-year-old single woman who lives in New York, I can relate to that show. Even though I seem to have my life together a little (well, a lot)  more than the girls on the show, their real-life body, boy, job, and all-around life dramas are relatable and real. Especially all the boy stuff. For some reason, this show makes me really examine myself and the relationships I have. (And I use the term relationships VERY loosely.) Maybe it's because I'm comparing the girls' issues to my own or maybe not, but something always hits a little close to home.

Let me start this by saying that I believe I am one of the most independent people I know. Some might think I am too independent and because I enjoy doing things by myself waaaaayy too much. And they may be right. However, that doesn't mean I don't want a man by my side doing some (not all!) of this stuff with me. So here it goes... And it's hard to admit...but... I want a boyfriend. There, I said it. Blah. It just sounds so needy and pathetic. Like "waaaah, find me a man. I'm so lonely." I am so not that girl, but at the end of the day, its becoming less and less fun coming home to an empty apartment day after day. It would be nice to have someone to share my day with. Share my successes with. Send funny emails and pictures to. And to cry to, if need be.

Oh Housewives...

I have made no secret in the past for my love of most reality TV. I have no shame. If it's on Bravo, VH1, or MTV, I will most likely give it a try. Whether or not I stick with a show is debatable, but I will at least give it a shot. Usually a one or two episode trial. One show that I have stuck with year after year, season after season, and location after location, is the Real Housewives of _________ on Bravo. Thanks a lot Andy Cohen. He really hit a gold mine with this series and I have seen them all. Yes, ALL. From the OG's of the OC to the one-season DC women and everything else in between. (And of course a majority of the spin-offs as well!)

Bravo's Housewives franchise is far from real. These women are catty, immature, superficial, and often times delusional. Those traits I'm sure are very real, but sometimes the situations they are in are not totally authentic. And many of them want more screen time so take up their terrible traits a few notches to get more screen time. Very few of them are what I would consider "normal." But who am I to judge, right? (I mean, I do tune in week after week, don't I? So what does that make me?) Some of these women aren't even real housewives in the true definition of the word. Some aren't married and most don't actually participate in actual housewife duties. But guess what, almost all of them are laughing all the way to the bank and I am slaving away at work day after day and making peanuts.

Miley: Moving On...

Full admission: I DVR’ed the Miley Cyrus documentary “Miley: The Movement” on MTV Wednesday. Don’t judge. I was curious. And I was finally able to watch it yesterday morning and man, it was interesting to say the least. Miley’s just being Miley I guess you could say.

Now, I am not a fan of Miley per se, but I’m not gonna lie, I like some of her music. Seriously, I love “We Can’t Stop” and I was always a huge fan of “Party in the USA” and the older “See You Again.” And I can dig “Wrecking Ball” and “23.” Since I am too old to have ever watched “Hannah Montana,” I really don’t have a clue what that show was about or even Miley pre-“movement,” as she calls it. (Except that she snagged the gorge Liam Hemsworth for a long time.) Much of the knowledge I have of Miley Cyrus I get from my US Weekly and the other tabloids and blogs I read.

Slow your "Role"

Okay, Okay, we all know I watch a lot of TV. And a lot of it is what some would consider trash-TV. Most of it is reality TV and I tend to find most of it supremely entertaining and totally worthwhile which is why I tune in week after week. It gives me joy and I'm so not ashamed to admit it.

There are many people that "hate-watch" many of the shows I like because so many people are unlikeable, but I watch simply because I enjoy them. (And yeah, maybe a miniscule amount of hate-watching too. You got me there.) In my opinion, many of these shows have likeable people for the most part and even those who you root for; however, there are some people who, when they come on my screen, make me want to punch them in the face. And since I can't do that, they make me want to change the channel. But do I do that? Of course not! That would just be silly.

Best. Shows. Ever.

As I have stated numerous times before, I love TV. And I watch a lot of it. It's no secret. Sometimes there is just not enough time in the day or enough room on the DVR to watch everything. Rough life, right?

I am pretty much also an equal opportunist when it comes to TV genres. Yes, I love my reality TV, but I also watch dramas and comedies as well. I can get just as excited to watch the trashiest show on TV followed up by the season's best drama. That's just the way I roll. Over the past few years, there have been many that I follow through and through and some that I just couldn't stick with. Then there were those that I picked up along the way and had to marathon-watch from the beginning to catch up. (Always a fun rainy day/weekend activity.) With all that being said, here is, in my opinion, some of the best shows on television. Ever.

1) The Wire. Cops + War on drugs + Streets of Baltimore= Best TV show ever. Period. The Wire premiered on HBO in 2002 but I never watched it. I had heard so much incredible stuff about it so had to get my hands on it. I borrowed the full series from a friend last year and basically watched all 5 seasons in less than 4 weeks. I was on a mission and I couldn't stop. It was so freaking good. It zeroed in on real world problems in a very realistic manner. Seasons 1 and 4 were by far my favorite. I have since purchased the series myself and watched it again. (This time I did it in 5 weeks though.)

Sidenote: This show makes crush hard on tough ass drug dealers. Attractive. Wealthy. Powerful. I mean, WTF? They do illegal things like selling drugs and murdering people yet I still want to "hit it." What's my problem?

Sweet Dreams

I love my sleep. It seems though no matter how much sleep I get I am always tired. But such is life. I aim to get 8-10 hours of sleep every night. Sounds like a lot, but if I don't get it, I am not so much a happy camper. Some nights I am fast asleep and don't remember a damn thing because I slept so soundly. Other nights I have some pretty random and pretty interesting dreams. The other night I was dreaming and in my dream my alarm clock went off. Strangely enough, my alarm clock went off in real life too. It was time to wake-up in both my dream and real life. I found it to be the weirdest thing. And the first time something like that had happened. I was telling someone about this that day and we started talking about all the weird things that happen in your dreams.

Sometimes I can remember dreams vividly and other times its all just a fog. Ever sleep with your celeb (or real) crush in a dream and wake up only to realize it was indeed only just a dream and not your reality? Such a bummer. Or wake up and be so glad what you just experienced while asleep was indeed only a dream and you are lucky it didn't actually happen. Whatever it may be, dreams can be so vivid and real for one sec and a blur the next sec. However, there are certain things that happen occasionally that I always remember and I think happen to a lot of people. I assume at least one of these has happened to you...

1) When you think you are falling and wake up to catch yourself.  In a dream, you fall. Whether its off a cliff, down a flight of stairs, on the street, whatever it may be. You all of a sudden wake up catching yourself as if you really fell. You may even shriek or scream. It's scary for a sec, then you realize you are safe and in your soft, comfy bed.

Dolvett, call me...

This past week Biggest Loser came back to our televisions. Two nights in a row. Two hours at a time. I didn't get a chance to watch it until the end of the week because with all new shows back and a busy week, my DVR got filled. Fast. Such is the life.

I was happy to be reunited with BL after such a long time even though the time commitment to watch is big, even with a DVR. I think this show is losing a bit of its mojo. I mean, I didn't even cry the first episode. WTF? This is not normal. I'd like to think it's because I am growing up, but I don't think that's the case.

As the new season begins, I find myself watching and thinking. Watching and thinking. Some of the things that cross my mind aren't anything new, and some of the things are more recent from this current season. So as I continue to watch Biggest Loser, this is what crosses my bizarre brain...

1) The kids on the show are brave as hell. This season BL has three teenagers on the show as they are tackling the topic of childhood obesity in America. These kids probably get made fun of a lot in their everyday life and are not very confident in themselves because of their weight and they are baring it all on national TV. I give them major props for that and hope they can turn their life around and end up happy and healthy.

GUEST BLOG: Guilty Pleasures Without the Guilt

Many of my friends have been super supportive regarding my adventures in blog writing. They also happen to be very smart and witty. (Remember you are the company you keep!) I always encourage them to help a sister out and give them an opportunity to express themselves if they so desire. I mean, why should I be the only one able to rant about my life? With that being said, here is a guest blog, the first in looong time. Enjoy. 

If you are like me and a lot of my lady friends, whether you are texting, or talking face-to-face; at least part of your conversations include a confession of indulgences followed by a rationalization or apology. Often, we call these indulgences “guilty pleasures”. 

I started thinking about “guilty pleasures” and suddenly thought…Who the fuck said we had to feel guilty about our pleasures?

After talking about this with a few of my friends, I realized, women, or at least the women I know, feel guilty about pleasures that involve three things.

Our Bodies 

Have you ever found yourself pulling out your hair while watching TV?  Your thumb and forefinger focused, fixated and grasping for that particularly coarse strand or split end, anticipating the pleasure of tearing it out and glaring at it with pride before you let it float to the floor? Or perhaps, you’ve gone to brush your teeth and found yourself absorbed, for 20 minutes or more, pinching, prying and presssing that in-gown hair or pimple, knowing you will not sleep until you are rewarded with the overwhelming satisfaction of release? Maybe you are like Sylvia Plath and you derive “sexual” pleasure from the “illicit sensuous delight” of nose picking...

Hooked

I've been watching the new show on MTV called Catfish: The TV Show. It's a television show based off the 2010 documentary by the same name. I had never seen the documentary but had heard about it and the topic was interesting.  In the movie, the main character, Nev, began an online relationship with a female and the film crew followed him as he discovered who she really was. (And it was not who she had perceived herself to be.) She was indeed a "catfish," which Wikipedia defines as "a person who creates fake profiles online and pretends to be someone they are not by using someone else's pictures and information."

The premise of the show is very similar in topic and shooting style. Each week, the one hour TV-show follows someone who has an online relationship with another person, usually for an extensive period of time, but has never met the person. It's the job of Nev and his friend Max, to uncover what the real deal is. Spoiler: The person is rarely, if ever, who they really say they are.

I love a good DILF

Recently, Thought Catalog posted an article titled "The Hottest Dads on TV." I pretty much disagreed with most of the dads that made their list but understood why there were there. Everyone has different taste in men after all. In my opinion, for a TV dad to be hot, he has to be an attentive father and be good looking, right? Those are by far the two most important components one would think. But sometimes other factors come into play either by the actor himself or the role he plays that makes the TV dad so hot. It could be the connection with his wife and kids. It could be his job on the show. It could be his witty sense of humor. Or it could just be some strange random attraction that is unexplainable. Sometimes, there are even some TV dads I would go as far as calling TV DILFs. (If you have no idea what I mean by DILF, then maybe you should stop reading. No, no! Just kidding, I would never want anyone to stop reading, but seriously, get with it. A DILF is a "Dad I'd Like to Fuck." Duh.)

Many TV shows have dorky dads (i.e Danny Tanner on Full House). Old dads (i.e Jay Pritchett on Modern Family). Ugly dads. But some TV shows actually have dads that I wouldn't mind dating or eventually ending up with. Some in real life, some not so much. In real life though, I would not consider dating someone that is a dad. Baggage. At my age, I think I still have the right to be choosey about this and don't have to settle for someone divorced or with child. It just seems like a lot to process for me at this age. Some might call it close-minded and too picky for someone that is 30 and still single, but for now, that is how I feel about that. But enough about my ridiculous standards for men, lets get back to these TV dads. Below are some dads that I really do find attractive even though they are, gasp, dads.  So here it goes, my list of TV's DILF's...

1) Eric Taylor. (Friday Night Lights). Let me start this list with my favorite TV dad of all, Coach Eric Taylor. I love everything about this man. He has the looks, the charm, the accent, the football, and treats his wife and kids with respect. What's not to like about him? 
 
2) Christopher Hayden  (Gilmore Girls). Did you even know his last name was Hayden? Probably not. Even I had to look that one up. Chris wasn't the most responsible or the most involved father, but he was damn hot. Rory definitely had fox as a father. I guess that's because he wasn't that old (him and Lorelei had Rory when they were teens) and he kept his good looks as he got a bit older.

Muff was the "Tip" of the iceberg...Hehe

After writing the post "It's almost Muff season...Hehe" a few weeks ago, I was even more immature than usual whenever I heard the words shaft, box, nuts, balls, muffs, and wood. I would even try to incorporate them more into conversations to see how others would react. I love a good challenge. Then two weeks ago at a team meeting at work, someone was giving a science example about a beaver. I just about lost it. She said beaver, looked at me because I am the science teacher, and I tried to fight the smile, then the giggle, then the full out laughter, but I just couldn't. I had to put my head down and silently laugh to myself. Hard (Oooh, another suspicious word.) One other person locked eyes with me and laughed too and everyone else just kind of sat there. They didn't get it. Amateurs. She said beaver. Beaver. Like a vagina. Hahahahaha. I mean, c'mon folks. Hilarious stuff right there. Ummmm, okay, maybe not, but funny to me and my immature self. This of course got me thinking about other regular words that didn't occur to me the first time around that sometimes tend to make me giggle so I decided I would make yet another list of these double entendre words that crack me up time and time again.

1) Beaver. Already explained. It's not a word that comes up that often, but when it does, its pretty damn funny. It also makes me think of this scene in Naked Gun.

A Couple of Creeps

Unless you have lived in a bubble the last year you have probably heard about the marriage between 51-year old Doug Hutchinson and 16-year-old Courtney Stodden. Or as they like to call themselves, Dourtney. Did you just throw up in your mouth a little bit? Cause I did. Gross. If you have any kind of morals, when you saw their ages, the first thing that came to your mind was also along the lines of "Eeeew, gross." Let's be clear, that is a 35 year age gap between a husband and wife. There are so many things wrong with this. So many. I am 30-years-old and would never even date someone that old. But for someone half MY age to marry someone that age is straight up disturbing. In so many ways.

I have recently been watching Doug and Courtney on VH1's Couples Therapy and its one of those things that is so awful yet engrossing at the same time. There are other "celebs" on the show getting their therapy (and TV time, natch), but this couple ultimately steals the show. This is because a) they are trying to do so by starting shit and b) They are so ridiculous its hard not to take front and center.

Sidenote: Because Courtney is not 18 and because of CHILD labor laws in California, she can't even spend the night at the therapy house because it would be more hours filmed than allowed.

Our Terrifying Reality

In the wake of the Frankenstorm, with no school and unable to go outside because of all the rain and wind, what else is a girl to do but hunker down and watch TV and movies? This is something I really excel at so I can handle it. I was a little scared I would get stir crazy and lonely during this "Hurrication" and that did happen, but I tried to keep as busy as possible. During the storm, I online-shopped, Skyped with family, cleaned, had a one-woman dance party, and watched A LOT of TV. A lot.

On a very serious note, although I was happy that I didn't have to work, the last few days were stressful and scary. The stuff that was predicted about this storm was accurate and there is a lot of damage around NYC, Long Island, and NJ. Some of it straight out of Day After Tomorrow. I feel very lucky to have only suffered boredom during this horrific storm becuse so many others lost their homes and their lives. It's so unbelievably sad, that I am almost just too shocked right now to cry. Almost. You guys know me so you know I cried. Seeing the wreckage on TV for so many hours for the last few days is just devastating and heartbreaking. I have been to so many of the places hit the hardest and to see the wreckage is horrifying. No one really thought that NYC would really get hit this hard either, and once again, I just feel so lucky that because of my uptown location in the city, I remained safe.

A Trifecta of Housewives

These last few weeks have been heaven for a Bravo reality TV fiend like myself. Bravo has outdone itself showing not one, not two, but THREE Real Housewives shows on in one week. New Jersey, New York, and Miami. Jackpot. It's quite the trifecta. If loving this is wrong, I don't want to be right. That's for damn sure. If only Andy Cohen could throw a sneak peak of Atlanta and Beverly Hills in there too, things really would be amazing. He really created a monster. And I say that in the most complimentary way possible.

So far all three seasons are full of the usual narcissism, drama, and wine-fueled fights that all Housewives fans have come to love. This season though, there seems to have been more of this than usual. Theresa vs. everyone on NJ, Aviva vs. Ramona and Sonja on NY, and so far Karent vs. Adriana and Alexia on Miami. Major dramz. And these are grown women. It's so bizarre to me that they actually don't mind being filmed behaving the way that they do. Clearly they are all part of the even-bad-publicity-is-good-publicity party or else they would be more mindful of how they act. Or would they?

TLC continues to make me think

TLC has done it again to me! It has created a TV show that has generated a fascination and caused me to have so many questions. Although TLC has recently been criticized for their programming choices (Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo and Breaking Amish), I must say that I have enjoyed them and actually learned many new things.

This post is a little past due because the TV show that I am going to discuss, Abby and Brittany, ended its first season a few weeks ago. I am unsure if a second season was picked up but it was recently brought up on another show I watch so it brought it to the forefront of my mind again. Last Monday on CBS's Two Broke Girls, the two main characters, Max and Caroline, were lying in bed together (as good friends do,) looking at a computer and Max joked "Seriously, I don't know how Abby and Brittany do it, because I'm uncomfortable with you even sitting this close to me." I laughed out loud. This is actually rare for me when watching TV. Then I thought, geez, there are probably so many people out there that didn't even get this joke because they don't watch all the garbage on TV that I do. They didn't watch TLC's Abby And Brittany about conjoined twins. See... all the hours of my TV viewing is paying off. I got a joke a lot of people probably didn't get on show a lot of people don't even watch. Pat on the back to me.

So many questions...

This summer I borrowed my friend's season one and season two of HBO's Big Love. It's about a polygamous family in suburban Utah. Watching this fueled my existing fascination with polygamists, but mostly with the Latter Day Saints (LDS) fundamentalist communities. The show focuses briefly on this side of the LDS, and the compounds that many of the LDS fundamentalists reside in, but its not its main focus. I learned mostly about this lifestyle/religion about two years ago when I read Escape by Carolyn Jessop. It is a memoir about her leaving her LDS fundamentalist cult, er, I mean community. (It's truly fascinating, so read it if you get a chance.)

Also, just Sunday night, TLC aired a new show called Breaking Amish. This new series is about Amish people that leave their communities and move to New York. When I first heard about this show about two months ago I was psyched. Such an interesting premise for a reality show. (However, I did wonder how these people found out about the show. They clearly didn't watch it on TV. Did TLC come to the communities to "recruit" people? I want to know!)  There is something soooo fascinating to me about the lives of the Amish and LDS fundamentalists. So fascinating. I don't know what it is exactly that intrigues me so much, but I just can't get enough of it. I drink up all that information and love learning about it.