Left!

So my curiosity finally got the best of me...I did it...I bit the bullet and downloaded Tinder to my phone. (Relax mom!!) Almost all my single friends have it and use it or have used it in the past. And I always hear people talking about it and although I know I won't meet my future husband using it, (and I'm super anti-online dating) I downloaded it. And I have to admit, it's kind of fun. It's like a game! I mean, I'm excellent at pre-judging people on their looks so this app is just up my alley.

For those of you living in a cave, Tinder is a dating app that takes information from your Facebook profile and creates a dating profile for you. Calling it a dating profile isn't even true because it is literally one sentence about you and a picture (or up to five of them). That's it. And you totally select your mates based on that. Pretty fucking shallow. And great. Once again, right up my ally. Total ADD online "dating." The only thing besides that information I added was what age guys I was looking for (28-36) and how far I wanted them to be located from me (within 8 miles). There is absolutely no other criteria. It doesn't match you on interests or anything else so you see picture after picture of dudes in your area who are also using the app. Then you either swipe left if you are uninterested and swipe right if you like what you see. If that person also swiped right on you, you are a match and can IM each other through the app. Pretty simple and pretty genius. It's no wonder people see this as more of a hook-up app than a dating app. I however, saw it as kind of a social experiment. I mean, it couldn't hurt AND it gave me fodder for this post (and maybe more in the future).


After downloading and deleting the app three times because it wasn't working correctly, I finally got to use it and man did my finger get tired swiping left. Ugh. I still don't understand what some people are thinking with the profile pictures they put up. No selfies! No shirtless pics! No pictureless pictures! Get a clue. And then there was this gem...

 

I mean, I've always wanted a pair of Loubs, but this isn't worth it. Freak! What is wrong with people? Left.

And this one...

 

Yikes. I mean, this burger does look freaking delicious, but really dude? Left.

On top of this, I also made some other observations...
     - Lots of people have really weird names. I'm sorry Lach, Wasang, Migs, Udi, Waseem, Quiwei, Taso, and Nuri. (Shall I keep going? I wish I was making these up, but I'm not.) I just can't with these names. I know it's not your fault that's your name, but I can't get over it. Call me shallow, but sorry. Left. 
     - People put their Instagram names on there and then they are private accounts. (Yes, I looked at some). However, most of the guys that did that were kind of creepy. But I was curious. Left.
     - Single men with cats = not okay. Left.
    - Starting an IM with "hey beautiful" is such a turn-off to me. Erase from matches. 

I've been on Tinder less than 24 hours and although I haven't gotten a full taste of what its all about yet, I can tell you there are def some weirdos out there. I have heard some pretty funny horror stories of creepy messages (and pics) to girls and if that does happen to me, you better believe you will read about it here. I have yet to get any creepy messages, probably because I am very selective in who I swipe right to, but I did get one at two in the morning which just proves what most guys on this app are looking for (read: Sex). I know not all of them are, but I most def did not reply to 2-in-the-morn guy's "Hey, I love your smile." Sorry buddy. You're cute and all, but we clearly have different priorities on here. I guess we'll see how long I last with this app on my phone. I give myself two weeks max, but who knows. It's free. It's kind of fun. And it's definitely cracking me up. Until then, I need to rest my fingers a bit from typing because I see a lot more left swiping in my future. But who knows, maybe I'll swipe right on that one guy who is actually cute and normal and athletic and smart and....the list goes on. Only time will tell but I am kind of proud of myself for downloading this in the first place. It's so not me at all. I put my stubbornness aside because of my curiosity and for now its enjoyable. Alright, I'm off to judge and swipe...