It's amazing to me that some men really have an idea in their head of what a lady should be like. How they should dress, act, eat, etc... These guys want stepford wives and I am most def not one of those. In this Thought Catalog article, the author states that men need to stop telling females how to behave in order to be a "real woman." The author was calling bullshit on it and I am here to do the same. So for each of the following that the author mentioned, lets take a look-see and what guys seem to think makes a lady.
1. How I should dress in order to be taken seriously. Okay, here is something that I take VERY personally. Those of you that know me, know that I prefer to be in workout clothes all day, everyday. I am most comfortable in yoga crops and a tank or hoody. It's what makes me, me. It does not make me lazy or a slob, it just makes me comfortable. Not even just physically comfortable because the pants are elastic waist and stretchy, but it's just what I am happiest and most confident in. I feel most at ease and myself while wearing this. For a while even, I was wearing this attire to work (and I wasn't the only one). These are clothes that I am super comfortable in and are not at all inappropriate. Some may consider them to be "unprofessional" but at the end of the day, I do my job and I do it well. Who is to say I am any less respected, committed, or excellent at my job because of what I wear? I actually think that some people (including my students) respect me more because I am wearing what I feel most comfortable in. It's visible to them this makes me happy and they truly understand that's what makes me feel the most comfortable. I am more myself in this dress attire than any other clothing. When I walk into a room, I believe I have a presence no matter what I'm wearing and once I get down to it, people know that it doesn't matter what I am wearing because I get the job done. A woman should wear what makes her comfortable and what makes her feel pretty. If its jeans and hoody, a dress, or even sweatpants, she should be her. If she wears it with confidence, then more power to her and no one should take her less seriously in the work place or in life because of it.
2. How I should speak, or express myself. I am very outspoken. Very opinionated. And I also tend to be very loud sometimes. I will not apologize for any of it. If something needs to be said, I will most often say it and I will not hide my feelings if something is bothering me or my feelings have been hurt. This sometimes can make me very vulnerable, but at the same time, I know that I have to be honest to myself by saying what needed to be said. Additionally, what always strikes people who aren't close to me is that even though I have such a very tough façade, I am one of the biggest crybabies I know. Although I put up a good front, I am very sensitive and often take matters very personally. I am not afraid to cry often and hard and am a firm believer that a good cry is very good for the soul. Let it out sister.
Additionally, sometimes in order to express myself, I do swear. A lot. My mother has told me countless times I sound like a drunk untrained truck driver. Real nice, mom. But whatever. I know my audience and my surroundings and can tone it down when I need to. Also, my sense of humor is borderline inappropriate. Okay, okay, its totally inappropriate and raunchy...and hilarious. My dad, brother, and I all have the same pretty fantastic sense of humor (if I do say so myself) that some people can take the wrong way or find offensive. It's definitely frat boy humor mixed with some other stuff, and although its not the most feminine, its funny.
3. That “real women” pay during a date, and that means that they’re secure. I'm all for being an independent, strong woman and all, but when I go on a date, especially a first one, I do expect the man to pay. That doesn't make me any less than a woman or less secure, but there is something about the chivalry of it. Also, I feel once you are dating someone for a while, you can easily take turns paying for things or splitting them, but right off the bat, I feel the man should pay the first three dates or so.
4. That “real women” eat ‘just like one of the guys!’ I love hamburgers and fries and nachos and steak but I also love salads and fruit and juices. When I go out to eat, I order what I want. If I am hungry, I will order what I want at that time with no fucks given. When it comes to food, this is something I so get a little self-conscious with because of all my body image issues, and I will constantly think of the calories in vs. the calories out, but I am not one to eat a tiny salad just to impress a man and then go home and binge. If I ate like one of the guys, I'd be even heavier than I am and couldn't deal with it so I don't try to keep up with them. I wish I could, but I can't.
5. That “real women” don’t get wasted. Ahhh. Hahahaha. This one kills me. Have you ever been out with me? I get wasted. And I am also super fun. Sure, I don't need to get wasted to be fun, but sometimes everyone just needs to get drunk and get on that dancefloor. And I like to do that. That doesn't make me any less lady-like. Sometimes we have to let our hair and our guard down and let loose. Sometimes its intentional and sometimes its not, but in the end, it happens and it doesn't make anyone less lady-like. Now don't get me wrong, I do have my moments where I don't act the most lady-like when I'm drunk, but that's not an everyday thing so I can deal.
6. That “real women” only like certain types of books, movies, and TV. I'm sorry I like The Real Housewives and Keeping Up with the Kardashians and still watch the Real World. And by sorry, I totally am not sorry at all. These shows are gold. They are pure entertainment and I like them! They don't make me any less intelligent by any means and are great, mindless fun. I also balance out these reality show with some good sitcoms and some excellent dramas as well. When it comes to reading, I like chick lit and then non-fiction sports books (and will always check out the New York Times Best Seller List books too). It's a weird genre combo, but it totally works for me just like my magazines of choice, US Weekly and Sports Illustrated. I am not going to lie to someone and say I sit at home watching CNN, listening to NPR, and reading Time magazine. It's not me and if someone has a problem with that, then its their problem, not mine. Clearly we wouldn't click, but to judge someone based on that kind of stuff, and trust me, I've been judged by my taste in TV before, kind of sucks.
People are going to have their opinions and judgements no matter what. I am not afraid to admit that I certainly have mine. Boy, do I. What it comes down to is what works for you. Some people might not take my dress attire, my language, my love for Shake Shack and so much more as lady like, but screw them because I am no less of a woman because of these things. Just because someone does something or acts a certain way, it doesn't make them any less of a lady or a man, it just makes them not right for you. But as long as you are true to you, then roll with it. I certainly do.
People are going to have their opinions and judgements no matter what. I am not afraid to admit that I certainly have mine. Boy, do I. What it comes down to is what works for you. Some people might not take my dress attire, my language, my love for Shake Shack and so much more as lady like, but screw them because I am no less of a woman because of these things. Just because someone does something or acts a certain way, it doesn't make them any less of a lady or a man, it just makes them not right for you. But as long as you are true to you, then roll with it. I certainly do.
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