Evolution of Technology

Growing up, we had pretty limited ways to communicate with the opposite sex. It was pretty much talk to them in person or call them on the phone. Lame. This is probably the reason that people of my generation seem to have slightly better interpersonal and social skills than those born ten years later.  Although we do rely heavily on technology, part of me is very glad that Facebook and text messaging didn't exist when I was in high school and college. I fear it would have gotten me in many more embarrassing situations than it already has. As an adult, I sometimes make bad decisions using my phone while drunk, so I can't imagine what kind of damage I could have done in my wilder, more immature days. 

Back in the day when I liked a guy, I would freak out about what I was going to say on the phone if I called him.  I would totally plan it out in my head on what I would say and hope there were not awkward pauses during our conversation.  Sometimes, I would actually hope his answering machine would pick up so I could leave a message and he'd have to call back and start the conversation. You see, when I was in middle school and high school, there were no cell phones (although I did have car phone in my car in high school. Yes, I was that cool. Still am. Some things don't change.)  Back then, you'd have to actually call a boy at his house. Sometimes if he didn't have his own phone line, his parents would even answer and you'd have to be super polite when asking to talk to speak to him.  In college, myself and most of my friends got our first cell phones, but if you liked someone, you still had to actually call them on the phone. Annoying. Nerve-wracking. AIM became very big so you could IM your crush if you had their screenname. And once you had that, you could also totally creep their away messages and see what they were up to until AIM came up with that feature that showed how many times people saw your away message. Buzzkill.

I know I am totally dating myself, but at the end of senior year of college, text messaging started to become all the rage. I still remember my very first text message. My phone had this weird icon and kept beeping and I had no idea what was going on. I finally read this message but had no idea what it was and how to respond. Eventually I got the hang of it and haven't looked back since. Also senior year of college, Friendster was kind of something of a social networking tool, but we weren't totally sure what exactly, but it wasn't a big of a deal at all.  Next came MySpace which was a social networking phenomena until Facebook came on the scene and changed everything. Everything.

Nowadays if you meet a guy and like him, you can first Facebook stalk him. Obvi. Usually this is pretty easy to do but can have mixed results. Is his profile is so private that you can't get any new info? (Annoying.) Or is his wall and and all his pics available to see? (This equates to him being too dumb to update his privacy setting. Ugh.) If you like what you see or can't find anything, this is usually followed up with the text. You have to be careful here because you don't want to have just a texting relationship which can build high expectations in your head and then fizzle fast.

No one picks up the phone to make an actual call these days. And usually if they do, I am impressed.  If I actually am interested in you, I will answer your call, but more often than not, I don't, because lets be honest, if I barely want to text you, what makes you think I actually want to talk to you? But I have to admit, I sometimes wish it was "normal" to just pick up the phone and talk for a while instead of texting back and forth. And this is coming from someone who doesn't even really like talking on the phone. You can accomplish so much more getting to know someone a bit in a half hour phone convo versus a two hour texting convo.  However, some people, myself included on occasion, feel that they can be more outgoing via text or even FB messaging. You can type what you want and edit it before you press send to make sure its perfect. I get it. And I do the same thing sometimes, but I really do miss an old fashioned phone call asking me out on a date. It's still okay over text, but it lacks the intimacy of a phone call.

All of these communication technology tools have been incredible and I am sure it will only continue to improve. But as it gets better, I feel that social skills, especially involving courting and dating, will continue to get worse and I am not okay with this, especially in my singledom. Things don't need to get even harder. Even though I sometimes benefit from this technology because someone that might not have picked up the phone would not have asked me out does via text, and vice-versa, but this is probably one the big reasons relationships these days aren't as strong and last as long as they should.  I am hoping that in the future, if you really like someone, its worth just picking up the phone. Believe me, I am worth it.

Pathetic...Party of One

Hey you! Yeah, you over there. The one I have had a crush on for the last 7 months. Why do I still like you? For some reason, I have this crush on you that I cannot shake. You are nothing special. At all. And yet, I am strangely drawn to you. What is my problem?

You so very obviously don't like me. And I know this. You have no desire to date me. After going out a few times together, I blew it. We both know what happened and don't need to relive it. But I def blew it and you have every right to not be interested anymore. I get it.

I like you and yet you don't like me. You have even said so much to my face. (Well not exactly. You told me you didn't want to date anyone right now. But we both know by anyone, you meant me. I am not an idiot, you know.) Yep, brutal. Yet I can't help but think you are going to come around and realize how much you do, in fact, like me and want me to be your girlfriend. I mean, really? This NEVER happens and this isn't going to be the exception. Seriously, what is my problem? I know you suck. For reals. My friends tell me how much you suck. You possess so many qualities that generally turn me off someone. But I am still attracted to you. This is so NOT like me. At all. In fact, I never get hung up on guys. Usually, I have the feeling of "your loss sucker" and move on. But not with you. Which is weird too because I have never had more clear signals that someone is not interested in me and have that attract me even more. I feel like a character in a bad movie. But alas, this is my real life and I need to get over you. ASAP. Pathetic...party of one.

I think my problem is that I like you because you don't like me back. I think that's pretty much it. I like the chase. I want what I can't have. I am also very aware that the second that we'd actually start to date, I'd get annoyed and irritated with you after about two weeks, and want to end it. Yet I still like you. Why is that? What is wrong with me? I can't be the only one this happens to? Can I? Apparently I like to torture myself. I will get over you. Eventually. Maybe you should just date me one more time so we can get this whole charade over with?! Uh huh, yeah.

I want in on that Island

As previously mentioned, I DVR Saturday Night Live every Saturday night. One of my favorite players on SNL is Andy Samberg. I don't know what it is about him, but he cracks me up.  He just seems like a nice, normal Jewish guy which is why its so strange that I have a crush on him. Physically, he is almost exactly the opposite of what I am attracted to (big nose, Jew fro, not so great teeth, short, pale, etc...) but his sense of humor is just so sexy to me. Proof positive, I am not that shallow and personality does increase attractiveness. (Plus I know my mom would approve of him!)
 
Andy is part of a group called The Lonely Island and they frequently perform digital shorts for SNL. They are songs with music videos, usually with awesome cameos, that if they weren't so ridiculous would probably be hit songs played on the radio all the time. Andy, along with Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone, who also make up The Lonely Island, have released two CD's as well. Some of the digital shorts have become quite famous because of their ridiculousness and awesomeness. Below are my five favorite Lonely Island digital shorts. 

1. Dick in a Box. Whenever JT comes on SNL, you know he is going to team up with Andy to make an amazing video. This one inspired awesome Halloween costumes and a great to-do list for any well-to-do gentleman. 
1. Cut a hole in a box
2. Put your junk in a box
3. Make her open the box.

2. Mother Lover.  For anyone who thought Dick in a Box could not be outdone, this one was pretty darn close. Incredible cameos (and wardrobe choices) in this video that was perfect for Mother's day.

3. I Just Had Sex. I even saw this song performed in concert when Akon opened for Usher this year in NJ. Sometimes after a successful night out I want to sing this from the rooftops. Aaaah. Kidding. 

4. I'm On a Boat. A little T-Pain and some autotune. What could be bad? In this case...nothing. Just don't forget your flippy floppies.

5. Jizz in My Pants. Hahahaha. Jizz. Hilarious. Once again, great cameos. And you can't beat the facial expressions of these guys. This song/video is so good it makes me want to jizz in my pants. 

6. Lazy Sunday. This was probably the first big bit hit from the group. Along with Chris Parnell, Andy describes his adventures on a Sunday to see The Chronicles of Narnia. Sounds dumb, right? It's completely brilliant. For some reason, YouTube doesn't have the video for this, just the song on a blank screen. Go HERE to see the video in its entirety. Trust me, its worth it.

Honorable Mentions: Threw it on the Ground, The Creep, Shy Ronnie, and Like a Boss.

If you couldn't get enough of the songs/videos above, def check out the honorable mentions on YouTube as they are pretty hilarious as well. Heck, after listening to these again, I think it might be time to add some to my iPod.

Thanksgiving with my Fave Person

I am not going home to Chicago for Thanksgiving this year. I have lived in NYC for about eight years and have gone home for Thanksgiving a total of three times. The first time was because it was my first year away from home so of course I had to go. The second time I had a wedding the previous weekend and just stayed until the following Sunday (thank god for my super nice principal who granted me those three personal days!). And the third time was last year for my ten-year high school reunion which was that weekend. You see, I love my family with all my heart, but flying out of NYC the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and coming home the Sunday after is no walk in the park. In fact, it is awful. Lines are long, people are grouchy, and usually my flights are delayed. All for a rushed weekend at home. It's not worth the anxiety for me. Yes, I know its one of the most special holidays of the year, but my family understands why I don't come home. They are more concerned about what their little girl does all day on Thanksgiving in NYC all by herself. Well that's easy, I hang out with my favorite person in the world: myself. We have a great little day together; one that I actually look forward to. Is that weird?

I get offers to go to friend's houses for Thanksgiving in Long Island, New Jersey, etc... but if I can't be with my own family, I don't want to be with someone else's. That makes me sad. I'd rather be by myself. For some reason, that is not as depressing for me. Does that make sense at all?

I have my Thanksgiving Day all planned out and I am hoping the weather cooperates. You see, in a city like NYC, there is actually plenty to do on Thanksgiving day. And if there wasn't, I would also be just as happy laying around in my sweatpants watching movies all day. (But I don't want to do that because I will have the rest of the weekend to do that if need be. ) Lots of people are alone on Thanksgiving here. Some people have a "friendsgiving" while others have what they call "NYC orphans Thanksgiving" and invite all the people that have nowhere to go for the holiday. I have been invited, but never attended these kind of events for the same reason I don't take my friends up on their offer to go to their homes for the holiday. I am fine alone. One year I was here my roommate and I went out for a Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant in the neighborhood. It was meh. Another year my boyfriend at the time and I cooked our own feast which actually came out delicious. And two years ago I spent the morning with a friend and the rest of the day wandering around getting lost in this wonderful city. I am really looking forward to doing something like that again. It's rare to find days where the city feels so empty. And I kind of like it. Makes it more homey.

So what am I am going to do on my turkey day? I am super excited to sleep in (ha...who am I kidding with that one?), relax for a bit, and then head out to watch Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade live. I use to watch it on TV when I was a little kid and to be able to see it live still thrills me each time. I love seeing the giant balloons and the celebrities singing. But the thrill only lasts for about a half hour or so and then I get bored. I will then walk downtown with the parade and then veer off to do some shopping. Old Navy will be open. Walgreens (one of my three favorite stores!) will be open. And other stores are usually open along the way. I will dilly dally around the city and eventually make my way back home, hopefully after snagging a good deal or two, and then shower and put on my sweats. By this time, I will be exhausted and will prob throw in an early movie and make myself a microwave dinner. Don't feel bad. I don't really like Thanksgiving food that much anyway. The starches yes, but not so much to everything else. I don't miss it. I am actually grateful to not have that caloric bomb of a meal. One less thing to stress over. After my meal, I will prob watch some more TV and call it a night. But don't worry, I will have most likely talked to my family at least five times that day, checking in multiple times, reassuring them I am okay and having a great day.

To some people, this day sounds awful. But to me, its kind of fun. Do I wish I was home with my family? Of course. Do I wish my family would come to NYC for Thanksgiving? Dying to have them do that! But it's not happening this year, so I am going to make the best of it and enjoy my day. Happy Thanksgiving all.

Comforts of Suburbia

Although I consider myself a New Yorker now, I was born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago. I never actually lived in the city of Chicago, so I grew up a very suburban life. And I loved it every second of it. After all, we know how "fast" those city kids grow up.

But even though I love living in NYC, there are some suburban comforts that I miss and that I definitely took for granted all these years. When I do go home, I get so excited to do some of these things that I accomplish them all in one day and then spend the rest of my visit bored. So what suburban Chicago comforts do I miss the most?

1) Driving to Target and Costco. Yes, there is now both a Target and a Costco in Manhattan. It also happens to be located a few blocks from where I work which is a total score. I often will run over on my lunch break to pick up a few things if I have time. But here's the thing, city Targets are often so picked over. They run out of stuff so freaking fast. If I can't find something there, I will look online, but sometimes I even have to have my mom run over to the local Target and pick up what I want and send it to me. And without a car, a visit to Costco can sometimes be a difficult task. I can only get a few things at a time and that are easily transportable by bus/train. I can't do a one stop shop. I have to make multiple trips or wait for one of my fantastic friends with a car can take me. I love them for that. And I would never even attempt to head over there on the weekends because its a zoo. It's crowded on the weekends at home, but not unbearable like it is here.

2) Chain Restaurants: Chili's and Cheesecake Factory especially. NYC is home to some of the best restaurants in the country, yet sometimes I just want some Chili's chips and ranch (AMAZING!) or a big salad from the Cheesecake Factory. I really think that Cheesecake Factory would kill it here so I always wonder why there isn't one. After all, there are two California Pizza Kitchen's here that do pretty well (not to mention many other not-nearly-as-good chains.)

 
3) The mall. Specifically Old Orchard and Northbrook Court. Just like with food, NYC has some of the beset shopping in the world. Big flagship stores and cute little boutiques. However, they can be pretty crowded and pretty spread out throughout the city. And the Manhattan Mall on 34th is a joke. When you hit a suburban mall, you get every store you pretty much want all under one roof. And you usually get a Nordstrom too. I miss their shoe department the most. So great. Sigh.

4) Walking barefoot around the neighborhood. Would you walk barefoot on the streets of NYC by choice? Nope. I am not going to lie, but I have walked home drunk and barefoot more times than I can count. I am not proud of it, but sometimes high heels and drunkenness is not the best combination at 3 am. I do however, keep on the lookout for hypodermic needles and glass. Obvi. I am not that dumb. At home, I walk my block barefoot. Feet in the grass. Crossing the street to the neighbors. Shooting hoops in the driveway. Who needs shoes? Puh-lease.

5) Proximity to the Beach. I love the beach. So much. I grew up as a Lake Michigan girl and am not a huge fan of the ocean. As a family we use to go to the beach often and in high school I went all the time, day and night. We were that close to it. A quick 20-minute drive and we were there. In Manhattan, a trip to the beach is an all day (or weekend long) schlep out to Long Island or the Jersey Shore. They are nice beaches, but I miss the lake. And don't even ask why I don't head to Coney Island for the beach. Ick.

As much as I miss these comforts of home, there are so many parts of New York that I would miss tremendously if/when I leave this great city. Growing up with the above comforts/habits has made me who I am today and that is why I miss them so much and make sure to partake in them (and so many other Chicago things) when I go home. But would it really be so bad for a Cheesecake Factory or Nordstrom to open here?  C'mon now.