I was just home in Chicago for the past week for my winter vacation and as per usual it was great. It was the first time I have
been home since July so it had clearly been way too long. I love, love, love going home and being with my family for some many
reasons; it's the best.
When I am home, there are many things that I do (or don't do) because I am usually on vacation and therefore feel I can do whatever I want and because I can't necessarily do them on a normal basis in NYC. This winter break, there were quite a few things I did that I haven't done in a very long time. Below are some of the things I did at home this past week I rarely to never do in NYC, if ever, anywhere.
1) Skipped workouts. Hey, I'm on vacation so if I want to just lay on the couch all day long in sweatpants, I can. There's snow on the ground and
temps are low which means this is not the best running weather for a person with little motivation at the moment. And did I mention I was on vacay? This means I don't have to anything I don't want to, right? But seriously, this has been the longest
stretch of not working out since before I started training for the marathon. As much as I do find running and spinning therapeutic and do actually enjoy it most of the time, if I have to force myself to do it, it loses its fun-ness. (Yes, I really just used that word.) This week off will hopefully give my legs the rest they need and I will come back faster and stronger.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
This needs to stop
Fear. Sadness. Shock. Disbelief. Grief. These are all feelings I am sure everyone has felt over the last few days. Whether your eyes have been been peeled to the news or not, we all now have some information of what happened Friday, December 14 in Newtown, CT. And we are all still trying to process what happened. And why it happened.
I was a junior in high school in April of 1999 when the Columbine shooting occurred. For days I couldn't take my eyes off the news, couldn't stop crying, and was very shaken up. How could this happen? And at a normal suburban high school? Why did these boys do this? Could this happen at my high school? What can we learn from it so it doesn't happen again?
After this horrific event, I would look at the "trenchcoat kids" in my schools differently, wondering if they were hiding guns under their big coats. Our high school was cliquey, just like many others, including Columbine. We had the jocks, the bandees, the theater kids, etc... Newsweek even came to my high school a couple weeks after the shooting because our school population was so similar to that of Columbine and interviewed students on how they felt about cliques in our building and how they affect the mindset of teenagers. This didn't make me feel any better. Eventually my huge paranoia wore off because there was no sense in always worrying. School is supposed to be a safe place and I wasn't going to let this damage my sense of security no matter what.
I was a junior in high school in April of 1999 when the Columbine shooting occurred. For days I couldn't take my eyes off the news, couldn't stop crying, and was very shaken up. How could this happen? And at a normal suburban high school? Why did these boys do this? Could this happen at my high school? What can we learn from it so it doesn't happen again?
After this horrific event, I would look at the "trenchcoat kids" in my schools differently, wondering if they were hiding guns under their big coats. Our high school was cliquey, just like many others, including Columbine. We had the jocks, the bandees, the theater kids, etc... Newsweek even came to my high school a couple weeks after the shooting because our school population was so similar to that of Columbine and interviewed students on how they felt about cliques in our building and how they affect the mindset of teenagers. This didn't make me feel any better. Eventually my huge paranoia wore off because there was no sense in always worrying. School is supposed to be a safe place and I wasn't going to let this damage my sense of security no matter what.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Hooked
The premise of the show is very similar in topic and shooting style. Each week, the one hour TV-show follows someone who has an online relationship with another person, usually for an extensive period of time, but has never met the person. It's the job of Nev and his friend Max, to uncover what the real deal is. Spoiler: The person is rarely, if ever, who they really say they are.
Friday, December 7, 2012
I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack
Each of us has their favorite lines in some of their fave movies. Some of these quotes are totally random, and some are much more common. Some even make the movie if you will. They are that good. In my opinion, five of the most quoteably-awesome movies out there are below, along with MANY of my fave lines. (Warning: I got a little carried away and may have over-quoted. I mean, if that's even possible.)
1. Elf.
Since its that time of year right now, this movie is on all the time. And I love every second of it. For a holiday flick, its unbelievably quoteable. And I even enjoy randomly watching it in the summer. It just leaves a smile on my face.
- I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite.
- This place reminds me of Santa's Workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.
- I'm singing. I'm in a store...and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing! I'm in a store...and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!
- We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.
- What's a Christmas Gram? I want one!
- But the children love the books!
- SANTA! OH MY GOD! SANTA'S COMING! I KNOW HIM! I KNOW HIM!
- It's just nice to meet another human that shares my affinity for elf culture.
- You did it! Congratulations! World's best cup of coffee! Great job, everybody! It's great to be here.
- I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
I need to love ME
It's that time of year again where holiday cheerfulness is around every corner. However, lately I have been feeling a little down. This always happens to me after running a marathon. It's what I like to call my "post-marathon funk" and it usually lasts a couple of weeks. I actually think it's kind of common for people after they participate in a big event. After all the hype, expectations, and excitement leading up to the marathon, now that its over, what's there to look forward to? I mean, I have tons of things to look forward to, most specifically going home for the holidays to see my family, but I need another goal. I am not good at just being content. I like having something to work for. I have little races in the mix, but nothing big on the calendar. So until then, I just kind of have this restless feeling. And restlessness doesn't sit well with me. It makes me think WAY too much.
When my mind starts to wander like this, its usually not a good thing. I'm not proud to say so, but I tend to focus on the negatives. Most of them having to do with my body. (And sometimes my singledom and I know those two things do happen to go hand in hand.) It just seems that everything I do in life always comes back to two things: working out and eating. Everything that I do has to not interrupt the workouts and the meals and/or drinks can't be too often or too indulgent. It gives me great anxiety. All the time. This uneasiness is not a good feeling to walk around with everyday. Being uncomfortable in my own skin is something I should have grown out of already, not something that continues to be a struggle for me.
When my mind starts to wander like this, its usually not a good thing. I'm not proud to say so, but I tend to focus on the negatives. Most of them having to do with my body. (And sometimes my singledom and I know those two things do happen to go hand in hand.) It just seems that everything I do in life always comes back to two things: working out and eating. Everything that I do has to not interrupt the workouts and the meals and/or drinks can't be too often or too indulgent. It gives me great anxiety. All the time. This uneasiness is not a good feeling to walk around with everyday. Being uncomfortable in my own skin is something I should have grown out of already, not something that continues to be a struggle for me.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Teach me, teach me how to...(dance)
In case you have lived in a cave the last month or so, you probably have heard of Korean superstar PSY. What? You haven't heard of him? Yikes. What planet do you live on? Anyway, PSY has become the creator the newest dance craze (and hit song) to take America by storm, Gangnam Style. Seriously folks. C'mon now. The man and his song and dance are everywhere. His video actually just earned the most hits on YouTube EVER! That's huge. For realz.
Since I love to dance and show off all my sweet dance moves at any opportunity I can get, I am always excited when a new craze occurs, so of course Gangnam Style was no different. Hearing it (over and over) made me take a little trip down memory lane of all the other dance crazes and songs that have come and gone. (Few have actually really had great staying power.) Starting with the newest one and current hit, here is a list of other dance crazes I have loved and learned over the years.
1. Gangnam Style. I wish I understood Korean so I knew what he was actually saying, but since I don't, I guess I just can continue to appreciate the beat. I do wonder how long this will last and if PSY will be a one hit wonder. My bet: Yes.
Since I love to dance and show off all my sweet dance moves at any opportunity I can get, I am always excited when a new craze occurs, so of course Gangnam Style was no different. Hearing it (over and over) made me take a little trip down memory lane of all the other dance crazes and songs that have come and gone. (Few have actually really had great staying power.) Starting with the newest one and current hit, here is a list of other dance crazes I have loved and learned over the years.
1. Gangnam Style. I wish I understood Korean so I knew what he was actually saying, but since I don't, I guess I just can continue to appreciate the beat. I do wonder how long this will last and if PSY will be a one hit wonder. My bet: Yes.
Friday, November 16, 2012
I love a good DILF
Recently, Thought Catalog posted an article titled "The Hottest Dads on TV." I pretty much disagreed with most of the dads that made their list but understood why there were there. Everyone has different taste in men after all. In my opinion, for a TV dad to be hot, he has to be an attentive father and be good looking, right? Those are by far the two most important components one would think. But sometimes other factors come into play either by the actor himself or the role he plays that makes the TV dad so hot. It could be the connection with his wife and kids. It could be his job on the show. It could be his witty sense of humor. Or it could just be some strange random attraction that is unexplainable. Sometimes, there are even some TV dads I would go as far as calling TV DILFs. (If you have no idea what I mean by DILF, then maybe you should stop reading. No, no! Just kidding, I would never want anyone to stop reading, but seriously, get with it. A DILF is a "Dad I'd Like to Fuck." Duh.)
Many TV shows have dorky dads (i.e Danny Tanner on Full House). Old dads (i.e Jay Pritchett on Modern Family). Ugly dads. But some TV shows actually have dads that I wouldn't mind dating or eventually ending up with. Some in real life, some not so much. In real life though, I would not consider dating someone that is a dad. Baggage. At my age, I think I still have the right to be choosey about this and don't have to settle for someone divorced or with child. It just seems like a lot to process for me at this age. Some might call it close-minded and too picky for someone that is 30 and still single, but for now, that is how I feel about that. But enough about my ridiculous standards for men, lets get back to these TV dads. Below are some dads that I really do find attractive even though they are, gasp, dads. So here it goes, my list of TV's DILF's...
1) Eric Taylor. (Friday Night Lights). Let me start this list with my favorite TV dad of all, Coach Eric Taylor. I love everything about this man. He has the looks, the charm, the accent, the football, and treats his wife and kids with respect. What's not to like about him?
2) Christopher Hayden (Gilmore Girls). Did you even know his last name was Hayden? Probably not. Even I had to look that one up. Chris wasn't the most responsible or the most involved father, but he was damn hot. Rory definitely had fox as a father. I guess that's because he wasn't that old (him and Lorelei had Rory when they were teens) and he kept his good looks as he got a bit older.
Many TV shows have dorky dads (i.e Danny Tanner on Full House). Old dads (i.e Jay Pritchett on Modern Family). Ugly dads. But some TV shows actually have dads that I wouldn't mind dating or eventually ending up with. Some in real life, some not so much. In real life though, I would not consider dating someone that is a dad. Baggage. At my age, I think I still have the right to be choosey about this and don't have to settle for someone divorced or with child. It just seems like a lot to process for me at this age. Some might call it close-minded and too picky for someone that is 30 and still single, but for now, that is how I feel about that. But enough about my ridiculous standards for men, lets get back to these TV dads. Below are some dads that I really do find attractive even though they are, gasp, dads. So here it goes, my list of TV's DILF's...
1) Eric Taylor. (Friday Night Lights). Let me start this list with my favorite TV dad of all, Coach Eric Taylor. I love everything about this man. He has the looks, the charm, the accent, the football, and treats his wife and kids with respect. What's not to like about him?
2) Christopher Hayden (Gilmore Girls). Did you even know his last name was Hayden? Probably not. Even I had to look that one up. Chris wasn't the most responsible or the most involved father, but he was damn hot. Rory definitely had fox as a father. I guess that's because he wasn't that old (him and Lorelei had Rory when they were teens) and he kept his good looks as he got a bit older.
Monday, November 12, 2012
I am lucky...
As I write this post, I lay in bed unbelievably sore and tired but also very happy and relieved. I finally ran my sixth marathon and I have been waiting for this moment the past 19 weeks (well really 78 weeks if you count my start of training last year before I broke my foot AND had a flare-up). It has been a huge physical, mental, and emotional struggle for me the past 4.5 months, so to have finally accomplished this, I am happy. I have made no secret of the health issues I have had this year and how they have made me feel and how they have affected my life. (I have also made no secret of the anxiety I have felt training for this marathon because of those issues.) So before I begin this post, let's take a minute to take a trip down memory lane to review my major health issues the past 14 months....
-Beginning of Sept 2011: Broken foot, get put in a boot for 5 weeks
-Sept 2011: Colitis Flare-up #1 followed by a C. diff infection in my intestines
-Mid Nov 2011: Stress Fracture/Tendinitis in different part of foot (Boot back on for 1.5 weeks)
-Feb 2012: Colitis Flare-up #2
-March 2012: Colitis Flare-up #3 (along with Pancreatitis) which resulted in a 3-day Hospitalization
-End of May 2012: Colitis Flare-up #4
-End of June 2012: First Remicade Treatment (hallelujah)
The moments where I was feeling 100% in the last year or so have been few and far between and I am happy to report that since starting Remicade and getting all my treatments, my stomach has cooperated. (My foot hurts just about everyday but I blame myself for not doing physical therapy and not being good at not exercising.) With everything in place, I was able to successfully train for the 2012 New York City Marathon set to be run on Sunday November 4, 2012. However, some nasty bitch named Sandy came to NYC and much of its tri-state area on Oct 29 and ruined everything. While the hurricane was hitting, no one knew how bad it would be. While stuck inside I decided to google other marathons that were happening in November just in case the NYC one was cancelled. I just had a feeling it may not go on but I really didn't think I would actually need to find another one. Once the storm finally was over, there was tremendous damage and loss. Sandy took away so many lives, even more homes, and did mass amounts of destruction. Throughout all of this, marathon officials and the mayor still said it was still on. As of Friday at 1:00 he still confirmed the marathon was happening. However with mounting pressure and very mixed feelings (and LOTS of tears), mostly negative ones, around 4:30 the mayor finally announced the NYC Marathon was cancelled. I am not going to lie, I was upset. I cried hysterically. However, I still believe cancelling the marathon was in fact the right decision, albeit one that should have been made two days earlier. I was upset at Sandy. I was upset with the mayor for his poor timing. I was just upset. After working my ass off for the past 4.5 months, and days of "will it happen or won't it happen?", the marathon was cancelled. In the grand scheme of everything that had happened over the past few days, a marathon was trivial, but it still had importance to me. After being hospitalized just months ago and being the sickest I have ever been in my life, for my body (and my mind) to be able to get where it was with this marathon was important to me and I had something to prove to myself.
-Beginning of Sept 2011: Broken foot, get put in a boot for 5 weeks
-Sept 2011: Colitis Flare-up #1 followed by a C. diff infection in my intestines
-Mid Nov 2011: Stress Fracture/Tendinitis in different part of foot (Boot back on for 1.5 weeks)
-Feb 2012: Colitis Flare-up #2
-March 2012: Colitis Flare-up #3 (along with Pancreatitis) which resulted in a 3-day Hospitalization
-End of May 2012: Colitis Flare-up #4
-End of June 2012: First Remicade Treatment (hallelujah)
The moments where I was feeling 100% in the last year or so have been few and far between and I am happy to report that since starting Remicade and getting all my treatments, my stomach has cooperated. (My foot hurts just about everyday but I blame myself for not doing physical therapy and not being good at not exercising.) With everything in place, I was able to successfully train for the 2012 New York City Marathon set to be run on Sunday November 4, 2012. However, some nasty bitch named Sandy came to NYC and much of its tri-state area on Oct 29 and ruined everything. While the hurricane was hitting, no one knew how bad it would be. While stuck inside I decided to google other marathons that were happening in November just in case the NYC one was cancelled. I just had a feeling it may not go on but I really didn't think I would actually need to find another one. Once the storm finally was over, there was tremendous damage and loss. Sandy took away so many lives, even more homes, and did mass amounts of destruction. Throughout all of this, marathon officials and the mayor still said it was still on. As of Friday at 1:00 he still confirmed the marathon was happening. However with mounting pressure and very mixed feelings (and LOTS of tears), mostly negative ones, around 4:30 the mayor finally announced the NYC Marathon was cancelled. I am not going to lie, I was upset. I cried hysterically. However, I still believe cancelling the marathon was in fact the right decision, albeit one that should have been made two days earlier. I was upset at Sandy. I was upset with the mayor for his poor timing. I was just upset. After working my ass off for the past 4.5 months, and days of "will it happen or won't it happen?", the marathon was cancelled. In the grand scheme of everything that had happened over the past few days, a marathon was trivial, but it still had importance to me. After being hospitalized just months ago and being the sickest I have ever been in my life, for my body (and my mind) to be able to get where it was with this marathon was important to me and I had something to prove to myself.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Muff was the "Tip" of the iceberg...Hehe
After writing the post "It's almost Muff season...Hehe" a few weeks ago, I was even more immature than usual whenever I heard the words shaft, box, nuts, balls, muffs, and wood. I would even try to incorporate them more into conversations to see how others would react. I love a good challenge. Then two weeks ago at a team meeting at work, someone was giving a science example about a beaver. I just about lost it. She said beaver, looked at me because I am the science teacher, and I tried to fight the smile, then the giggle, then the full out laughter, but I just couldn't. I had to put my head down and silently laugh to myself. Hard (Oooh, another suspicious word.) One other person locked eyes with me and laughed too and everyone else just kind of sat there. They didn't get it. Amateurs. She said beaver. Beaver. Like a vagina. Hahahahaha. I mean, c'mon folks. Hilarious stuff right there. Ummmm, okay, maybe not, but funny to me and my immature self. This of course got me thinking about other regular words that didn't occur to me the first time around that sometimes tend to make me giggle so I decided I would make yet another list of these double entendre words that crack me up time and time again.
1) Beaver. Already explained. It's not a word that comes up that often, but when it does, its pretty damn funny. It also makes me think of this scene in Naked Gun.
1) Beaver. Already explained. It's not a word that comes up that often, but when it does, its pretty damn funny. It also makes me think of this scene in Naked Gun.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
A Couple of Creeps
Unless you have lived in a bubble the last year you have probably heard about the marriage between 51-year old Doug Hutchinson and 16-year-old Courtney Stodden. Or as they like to call themselves, Dourtney. Did you just throw up in your mouth a little bit? Cause I did. Gross. If you have any kind of morals, when you saw their ages, the first thing that came to your mind was also along the lines of "Eeeew, gross." Let's be clear, that is a 35 year age gap between a husband and wife. There are so many things wrong with this. So many. I am 30-years-old and would never even date someone that old. But for someone half MY age to marry someone that age is straight up disturbing. In so many ways.
I have recently been watching Doug and Courtney on VH1's Couples Therapy and its one of those things that is so awful yet engrossing at the same time. There are other "celebs" on the show getting their therapy (and TV time, natch), but this couple ultimately steals the show. This is because a) they are trying to do so by starting shit and b) They are so ridiculous its hard not to take front and center.
Sidenote: Because Courtney is not 18 and because of CHILD labor laws in California, she can't even spend the night at the therapy house because it would be more hours filmed than allowed.
I have recently been watching Doug and Courtney on VH1's Couples Therapy and its one of those things that is so awful yet engrossing at the same time. There are other "celebs" on the show getting their therapy (and TV time, natch), but this couple ultimately steals the show. This is because a) they are trying to do so by starting shit and b) They are so ridiculous its hard not to take front and center.
Sidenote: Because Courtney is not 18 and because of CHILD labor laws in California, she can't even spend the night at the therapy house because it would be more hours filmed than allowed.
Friday, November 2, 2012
A Bitter Race
***I initially wrote this post (below) before Superstorm Sandy hit as I wanted to post it right before the marathon as a final motivator for myself. However, with all that has occurred in the past few days with the devastation of Sandy, my mindset has changed a bit about this race.
City officials had to make the very controversial choice of whether or not the marathon would go on as planned. And after much thought and consideration, they have decided it will indeed go on. What was once one of the premiere events in the city has now become quite bitter. How can I still be excited about this race? With all the destruction in to our neighbors in Staten Island, Breezy Point, Hoboken, Seaside, Long Beach, and so many other nearby areas, I was unsure whether I thought it was right or wrong for the marathon to go on as planned and I am glad it was not my decision to make. I know this was not an easy decision to make as there were a lot of pros and cons to be weighed and I can see both sides. I mean, why should the city have police and fire officials manning the race course when they could be out helping those still in so much need? Why should we be drinking all this clean water and be tracked electronically while so many are still without food, water, and power? How are people going to get into NYC with so many flights cancelled? How will people get to and from the race without public transportation still not totally up and running? But then you you see the other side as well. This event brings lots of revenue to the city in a time it so badly needs it at the moment. (And that's not counting the charities that certain runners choose to raise money and run for.) This is an event that will help bring a little cheer and healing to the city and bring us together in our time of sorrow. And of course, the smallest point to be made, this is something thousands have trained for and sacrificed the last 3-5 months for. And if the city said its a go, I am going to run. I will run with a heavy heart, but I will run. I know some people will disagree with me but it is a personal decision I have made.
Over the last two days, I have shed so many tears. Watching the news coverage over and over again is just so heart-wrenching. There is so much devastation and I sit there and cry of sadness for these people. And then I cry tears of guilt for myself. I just feel so guilty about actually kind of wanting to still run this race while so many are suffering. I mean in the grand scheme of things, who cares if I spent the last four months training? I kind of do. It's very selfish and I know this. I have been through a lot this year healthwise, and to me, this race is a testament to all I have overcome, mentally and physically, so I can't help but have it be very personal. I hate that I feel this way as it is racking me with guilt, but I can't help it.
This marathon is not going to be the same race as it was just four days ago. It can't be. With so much loss and devastation, it's impossible. I also don't think by this race going on as planned that people are trying to ignore Sandy's horrific effects, they are just trying to bring something positive to a city that desperately needs it. Things won't be back to normal for a while now in NYC but if this race is one little piece of getting the city back on its feet and feeling a sense of normalcy, then I am happy to be a part of it. Everyone keeps talking about the strength and resilience of New Yorkers and hopefully having this race go on will show through and give a little hope to those that need it the most.
City officials had to make the very controversial choice of whether or not the marathon would go on as planned. And after much thought and consideration, they have decided it will indeed go on. What was once one of the premiere events in the city has now become quite bitter. How can I still be excited about this race? With all the destruction in to our neighbors in Staten Island, Breezy Point, Hoboken, Seaside, Long Beach, and so many other nearby areas, I was unsure whether I thought it was right or wrong for the marathon to go on as planned and I am glad it was not my decision to make. I know this was not an easy decision to make as there were a lot of pros and cons to be weighed and I can see both sides. I mean, why should the city have police and fire officials manning the race course when they could be out helping those still in so much need? Why should we be drinking all this clean water and be tracked electronically while so many are still without food, water, and power? How are people going to get into NYC with so many flights cancelled? How will people get to and from the race without public transportation still not totally up and running? But then you you see the other side as well. This event brings lots of revenue to the city in a time it so badly needs it at the moment. (And that's not counting the charities that certain runners choose to raise money and run for.) This is an event that will help bring a little cheer and healing to the city and bring us together in our time of sorrow. And of course, the smallest point to be made, this is something thousands have trained for and sacrificed the last 3-5 months for. And if the city said its a go, I am going to run. I will run with a heavy heart, but I will run. I know some people will disagree with me but it is a personal decision I have made.
Over the last two days, I have shed so many tears. Watching the news coverage over and over again is just so heart-wrenching. There is so much devastation and I sit there and cry of sadness for these people. And then I cry tears of guilt for myself. I just feel so guilty about actually kind of wanting to still run this race while so many are suffering. I mean in the grand scheme of things, who cares if I spent the last four months training? I kind of do. It's very selfish and I know this. I have been through a lot this year healthwise, and to me, this race is a testament to all I have overcome, mentally and physically, so I can't help but have it be very personal. I hate that I feel this way as it is racking me with guilt, but I can't help it.
This marathon is not going to be the same race as it was just four days ago. It can't be. With so much loss and devastation, it's impossible. I also don't think by this race going on as planned that people are trying to ignore Sandy's horrific effects, they are just trying to bring something positive to a city that desperately needs it. Things won't be back to normal for a while now in NYC but if this race is one little piece of getting the city back on its feet and feeling a sense of normalcy, then I am happy to be a part of it. Everyone keeps talking about the strength and resilience of New Yorkers and hopefully having this race go on will show through and give a little hope to those that need it the most.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Our Terrifying Reality
In the wake of the Frankenstorm, with no school and unable to go outside because of all the rain and wind, what else is a girl to do but hunker down and watch TV and movies? This is something I really excel at so I can handle it. I was a little scared I would get stir crazy and lonely during this "Hurrication" and that did happen, but I tried to keep as busy as possible. During the storm, I online-shopped, Skyped with family, cleaned, had a one-woman dance party, and watched A LOT of TV. A lot.
On a very serious note, although I was happy that I didn't have to work, the last few days were stressful and scary. The stuff that was predicted about this storm was accurate and there is a lot of damage around NYC, Long Island, and NJ. Some of it straight out of Day After Tomorrow. I feel very lucky to have only suffered boredom during this horrific storm becuse so many others lost their homes and their lives. It's so unbelievably sad, that I am almost just too shocked right now to cry. Almost. You guys know me so you know I cried. Seeing the wreckage on TV for so many hours for the last few days is just devastating and heartbreaking. I have been to so many of the places hit the hardest and to see the wreckage is horrifying. No one really thought that NYC would really get hit this hard either, and once again, I just feel so lucky that because of my uptown location in the city, I remained safe.
On a very serious note, although I was happy that I didn't have to work, the last few days were stressful and scary. The stuff that was predicted about this storm was accurate and there is a lot of damage around NYC, Long Island, and NJ. Some of it straight out of Day After Tomorrow. I feel very lucky to have only suffered boredom during this horrific storm becuse so many others lost their homes and their lives. It's so unbelievably sad, that I am almost just too shocked right now to cry. Almost. You guys know me so you know I cried. Seeing the wreckage on TV for so many hours for the last few days is just devastating and heartbreaking. I have been to so many of the places hit the hardest and to see the wreckage is horrifying. No one really thought that NYC would really get hit this hard either, and once again, I just feel so lucky that because of my uptown location in the city, I remained safe.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
I am a Halloweenie
There are non Halloween movies that I have seen that still haunt me like Arachnophobia and Jaws so I try to avoid any type of movie that will instill fear or paranoia in me. Jaws is literally one of the reasons I will not go above my knees in the ocean. And against better judgement I once even watched Open Water. Bad idea. Nightmares. But anyway, you get the idea, I am a gigantic wuss when it comes to scary movies. So when Halloween rolls around, I tend to steer toward wholesome, family Halloween oriented flicks, most of which are happen to be shown on ABC Family on the days and weeks leading up to Halloween. (Yes, I am 30-years-old and do love this channel. So what?) So when Halloween time is upon us I make sure and watch each one of these at least one time. But usually I end up watching a few of them over and over again.
Monday, October 29, 2012
A Trifecta of Housewives
These last few weeks have been heaven for a Bravo reality TV fiend like
myself. Bravo has outdone itself showing not one, not two, but THREE Real Housewives shows on in one week. New Jersey, New York, and Miami. Jackpot. It's quite the trifecta. If loving this is wrong, I don't want to be right. That's for damn sure. If only Andy Cohen could throw a sneak peak of Atlanta and Beverly Hills in there too, things really would be amazing. He really created a monster. And I say that in the most complimentary way possible.
So far all three seasons are full of the usual narcissism, drama, and wine-fueled fights that all Housewives fans have come to love. This season though, there seems to have been more of this than usual. Theresa vs. everyone on NJ, Aviva vs. Ramona and Sonja on NY, and so far Karent vs. Adriana and Alexia on Miami. Major dramz. And these are grown women. It's so bizarre to me that they actually don't mind being filmed behaving the way that they do. Clearly they are all part of the even-bad-publicity-is-good-publicity party or else they would be more mindful of how they act. Or would they?
So far all three seasons are full of the usual narcissism, drama, and wine-fueled fights that all Housewives fans have come to love. This season though, there seems to have been more of this than usual. Theresa vs. everyone on NJ, Aviva vs. Ramona and Sonja on NY, and so far Karent vs. Adriana and Alexia on Miami. Major dramz. And these are grown women. It's so bizarre to me that they actually don't mind being filmed behaving the way that they do. Clearly they are all part of the even-bad-publicity-is-good-publicity party or else they would be more mindful of how they act. Or would they?
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Here we go again
With the impending Frankenstorm approaching NYC, everyone seems to be in a panic. You'd think with Hurricane Irene hitting just last year people would at least be a little bit calmer. Not the case. Lines at the grocery stores are super long and shelves are kind of picked over already. However, with meteorologists are predicting this storm to be pretty bad because of it being a combination of three storms. We have Hurricane Sandy meeting up with a Nor'Easter meeting up with another front. Essentially its the perfect storm. A weatherman's wet dream if you will.
Sidenote: It seems that these strong storms are becoming more and more frequent. Not just on the East Coast, but all over the world. Anyone that thinks Global Warming is a falsity needs to reconsider this or have their head examined. And if you don't believe me, go see An Inconvenient Truth.
Sidenote: It seems that these strong storms are becoming more and more frequent. Not just on the East Coast, but all over the world. Anyone that thinks Global Warming is a falsity needs to reconsider this or have their head examined. And if you don't believe me, go see An Inconvenient Truth.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Think Pink!
October is breast cancer awareness month. There is pink everywhere. Please tell me you have noticed this. This is the month where many people really show their support for breast cancer research by buying products and wearing products that help make others aware of breast cancer prevention. There are breast cancer walks and runs to raise money and awareness and it really is a fantastic thing. Breast cancer is a disease that almost everyone knows someone affected by, if not directly affected themselves. I myself know many people who have fought and won their battle with breast cancer (Go Grandma!!) as well as those that have lost their lives because of this disease.
Last weekend while running in Central Park, there wasn't one, but there were two Breast Cancer walks going on. The Avon 2-day walk was finishing up their 40 mile walk and the Making Strides 10K walk followed up after them. During my run, I passed hundreds of walkers, almost all of them donning pink. It was so inspiring. I think I got teary-eyed like 20 times. No joke. What gets me every time is the women wearing the "Survivor" T-shirts. They are amazing. They fought and beat this terrible disease and are out there walking with pride to bring awareness to others.
Last weekend while running in Central Park, there wasn't one, but there were two Breast Cancer walks going on. The Avon 2-day walk was finishing up their 40 mile walk and the Making Strides 10K walk followed up after them. During my run, I passed hundreds of walkers, almost all of them donning pink. It was so inspiring. I think I got teary-eyed like 20 times. No joke. What gets me every time is the women wearing the "Survivor" T-shirts. They are amazing. They fought and beat this terrible disease and are out there walking with pride to bring awareness to others.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
TLC continues to make me think
TLC has done it again to me! It has created a TV show that has generated a fascination and caused me to have so many questions. Although TLC has recently been criticized for their programming choices (Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo and Breaking Amish), I must say that I have enjoyed them and actually learned many new things.
This post is a little past due because the TV show that I am going to discuss, Abby and Brittany, ended its first season a few weeks ago. I am unsure if a second season was picked up but it was recently brought up on another show I watch so it brought it to the forefront of my mind again. Last Monday on CBS's Two Broke Girls, the two main characters, Max and Caroline, were lying in bed together (as good friends do,) looking at a computer and Max joked "Seriously, I don't know how Abby and Brittany do it, because I'm uncomfortable with you even sitting this close to me." I laughed out loud. This is actually rare for me when watching TV. Then I thought, geez, there are probably so many people out there that didn't even get this joke because they don't watch all the garbage on TV that I do. They didn't watch TLC's Abby And Brittany about conjoined twins. See... all the hours of my TV viewing is paying off. I got a joke a lot of people probably didn't get on show a lot of people don't even watch. Pat on the back to me.
This post is a little past due because the TV show that I am going to discuss, Abby and Brittany, ended its first season a few weeks ago. I am unsure if a second season was picked up but it was recently brought up on another show I watch so it brought it to the forefront of my mind again. Last Monday on CBS's Two Broke Girls, the two main characters, Max and Caroline, were lying in bed together (as good friends do,) looking at a computer and Max joked "Seriously, I don't know how Abby and Brittany do it, because I'm uncomfortable with you even sitting this close to me." I laughed out loud. This is actually rare for me when watching TV. Then I thought, geez, there are probably so many people out there that didn't even get this joke because they don't watch all the garbage on TV that I do. They didn't watch TLC's Abby And Brittany about conjoined twins. See... all the hours of my TV viewing is paying off. I got a joke a lot of people probably didn't get on show a lot of people don't even watch. Pat on the back to me.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Gotta get my head back in the game
Over the summer a friend and I
purchased a Living Social deal for speed dating. We figured it was us
being open minded and trying something new and different. Best case
scenario: I would meet my future husband. (Or maybe just someone
cool/cute to date for a while.) Worst Case scenario: I would get a good
story out of it for this blog. Basically I felt it was ultimately a win-win sitch. However, although I have seemed to have gotten a blog post of it, this is not the direction I wanted this post to go in but I will get to that in a second.
My friend and I were both really busy over summer and then once school started and marathon training was in full swing, we had even less time to use our voucher. With only two weeks left until its expiration date, I decided to use my voucher and go speed dating. Alone. And sober. (I am not drinking this month because it is so close to the marathon and I don't want any alcohol in my system.) I was trying to go in as positive and open minded as possible but my head just wasn't in it so it wasn't a good time. Besides the fact that I was exhausted, felt gross (fat and zitty), and was by myself, this speed dating event was not as I expected it to be. I walked into the bar it was at and it was a small sports bar with regular patrons in the bar. There was no back room where this was going to go on. It was all going to happen out in the open. Okay, this was sure to make me feel more like a pathetic loser than I already was feeling. Now random strangers can watch me do this awkward speed dating "dance." This bothered me and then I was bothered that I even cared what others thought. Things were not going well in my head.
My friend and I were both really busy over summer and then once school started and marathon training was in full swing, we had even less time to use our voucher. With only two weeks left until its expiration date, I decided to use my voucher and go speed dating. Alone. And sober. (I am not drinking this month because it is so close to the marathon and I don't want any alcohol in my system.) I was trying to go in as positive and open minded as possible but my head just wasn't in it so it wasn't a good time. Besides the fact that I was exhausted, felt gross (fat and zitty), and was by myself, this speed dating event was not as I expected it to be. I walked into the bar it was at and it was a small sports bar with regular patrons in the bar. There was no back room where this was going to go on. It was all going to happen out in the open. Okay, this was sure to make me feel more like a pathetic loser than I already was feeling. Now random strangers can watch me do this awkward speed dating "dance." This bothered me and then I was bothered that I even cared what others thought. Things were not going well in my head.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Respect the Runner
Runners come in all shapes and sizes. |
It's no secret that this year has been a brutal one for me health-wise. I had a broken foot and four Ulcerative Colitis flare-ups, including one hospitalization. Because of my health, running to took a back seat. I just didn't have the energy. And when I finally started to feel better, I had very little motivation and desire to work out and run. This past June, I ran my first road race. It was a 5-mile race in Central Park and I had barely run in over two months so this was probably a stupid idea anyway. Who runs a 5-mile race and doing zero physical activity and being really sick? Um, well, I do. I did. And it was a HUGE mistake. I ran the race. And then went home and cried. My time was awful. It was so freaking slow. And I was upset. My health was improving but my morale was down. My friends tried to console me saying that I should be happy I finished the 5-mile race after being inactive and sick for so long. They were proud of me. I tried to see it that way, but just couldn't. I understand for those that don't run that far of a distance, this can be a great achievement, but I was just not a happy camper. I wish I could have been because they were right. But I just kept thinking "after not running for so long, would I ever get back in it?" Would I have the heart and the right head on my shoulders to keep at it after this demoralizing race? Well, I think we all know the answer is yes now. To think that in a little less than a month I will be running 26.2 miles is really exciting for me and I am grateful that my body has held up thus far. It has certainly come a long way since that 5-mile debacle in June.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Respect the Distance
Since my life as of late has consisted of running, work, running, eating, running, and sleeping lately, I figured that this post would be about...you guessed it...running. With about a month to go until the NYC Marathon, my life is consumed with training for this marathon. I had said I wasn't going to officially say I was running this 26.2 mile journey until I completed my first 20 mile training run. Well, this past Sunday, I did just that. It was such a relief to check that off my list. After crying on and off for the past week full of anxiety and stress over this run, I was happy to have completed it. And it even went pretty well. It gave me the motivation I needed to finish off these next four weeks. I have one more 20-miler to go and then I can taper down my mileage. November 4 can't come soon enough and as stressed and crazed about this marathon, I am ready for it to be over.
Since most of my friends run, they know challenging it can be. Whether its for weight loss, to stay in shape, or just for fun (who really does that anyway?), we share this hobby in common. Whether they are fast or slow or run high or low mileages, most of them know that running long distances like a marathon is no easy feat. We respect the distance. Most people with any common sense do. However, there happen to be some people that seem so completely clueless about long distance runs and the time and effort that go into training for and running them. These people are just straight up ignorant. And sometimes borderline insulting because of their ignorance. This past weekend after my long run I ran into one of these very people.
Since most of my friends run, they know challenging it can be. Whether its for weight loss, to stay in shape, or just for fun (who really does that anyway?), we share this hobby in common. Whether they are fast or slow or run high or low mileages, most of them know that running long distances like a marathon is no easy feat. We respect the distance. Most people with any common sense do. However, there happen to be some people that seem so completely clueless about long distance runs and the time and effort that go into training for and running them. These people are just straight up ignorant. And sometimes borderline insulting because of their ignorance. This past weekend after my long run I ran into one of these very people.
Monday, October 1, 2012
It's almost muff season...Hehe
Mixed Nuts. Hehehe |
There are certain regular words that whenever I hear them, I can't help but turn into a ten-year-old boy. A grin will comes across my face and I try to contain my giggle. (The fact that I work with teenagers all day makes me more aware of this too since I cannot laugh in front of them with these words so I hold it all in.) These are words that have more than one meaning, and the second meaning is usually completely inappropriate. And since my mind is in the gutter most of the time, I almost always think of that second definition. I can't help it. And its even more funny if I am with good company with an equally great sense of humor and we just repeat it and all get a good laugh.
Friday, September 14, 2012
A Solo journey of 26.2
I am very use to doing things alone. Shopping alone. Going to movies alone. Running alone. No biggie, right? But training for and running a marathon is something I have never really done alone before. And it's kind of something I don't want to do on my own. As someone who usually prefers doing stuff solo, this is not a journey I want to go on completely by myself.
I have run five marathons before and always had someone by my side in almost all aspects of the experience. I had training partners, someone to go to the expo with me, someone to at least start the race with, and always my mom when I was done. (If it was a Chicago Marathon, I even had my dad there too when I was done.)
I have run five marathons before and always had someone by my side in almost all aspects of the experience. I had training partners, someone to go to the expo with me, someone to at least start the race with, and always my mom when I was done. (If it was a Chicago Marathon, I even had my dad there too when I was done.)
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
So many questions...
This summer I borrowed my friend's season one and season two of HBO's Big Love. It's about a polygamous family in suburban Utah. Watching this fueled my existing fascination with polygamists, but mostly with the Latter Day Saints (LDS) fundamentalist communities. The show focuses briefly on this side of the LDS, and the compounds that many of the LDS fundamentalists reside in, but its not its main focus. I learned mostly about this lifestyle/religion about two years ago when I read Escape by Carolyn Jessop. It is a memoir about her leaving her LDS fundamentalist cult, er, I mean community. (It's truly fascinating, so read it if you get a chance.)
Also, just Sunday night, TLC aired a new show called Breaking Amish. This new series is about Amish people that leave their communities and move to New York. When I first heard about this show about two months ago I was psyched. Such an interesting premise for a reality show. (However, I did wonder how these people found out about the show. They clearly didn't watch it on TV. Did TLC come to the communities to "recruit" people? I want to know!) There is something soooo fascinating to me about the lives of the Amish and LDS fundamentalists. So fascinating. I don't know what it is exactly that intrigues me so much, but I just can't get enough of it. I drink up all that information and love learning about it.
Also, just Sunday night, TLC aired a new show called Breaking Amish. This new series is about Amish people that leave their communities and move to New York. When I first heard about this show about two months ago I was psyched. Such an interesting premise for a reality show. (However, I did wonder how these people found out about the show. They clearly didn't watch it on TV. Did TLC come to the communities to "recruit" people? I want to know!) There is something soooo fascinating to me about the lives of the Amish and LDS fundamentalists. So fascinating. I don't know what it is exactly that intrigues me so much, but I just can't get enough of it. I drink up all that information and love learning about it.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Wise Words of Mama June
I was skeptical at first at what TLC was doing giving 7 year-old Alana Thompson, Honey Boo Boo herself, and her family their own reality show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. But damn, did they have the right idea and I am hooked. I seriously look forward to this show every week. This family is television gold and Mama June has become the break-out star.
Mama June is only 32 years old. That's only two years older than me, but man is that woman wise beyond her years. With four kids, from four baby daddies, she may not be the typical mother in the sense of the word, but she seems to have great relationships with her daughters and there is love there, even if it might not in the most traditional sense.
It's amazing to me that even though everyone on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is speaking English, there are captions on everything they say. However, sometimes even with the captions, it can be hard to understand what they are saying. It's like they almost have their own language. And you know what, I kind of love it. I want to start incorporating some of this family's common vocab into my every day conversations. Some of the favorites that I have heard this season thus far are...
Vagiggle jaggle. All the fat that jiggles on a person. One of my favorite of Mama June's terms. According to Mama, "I hope I don't see a bunch of wedgies at the waterpark. Vagiggle jaggles gonna be hanging out, though." Clearly, she was including herself in that statement. The woman is self-aware at least.
Mama June is only 32 years old. That's only two years older than me, but man is that woman wise beyond her years. With four kids, from four baby daddies, she may not be the typical mother in the sense of the word, but she seems to have great relationships with her daughters and there is love there, even if it might not in the most traditional sense.
It's amazing to me that even though everyone on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is speaking English, there are captions on everything they say. However, sometimes even with the captions, it can be hard to understand what they are saying. It's like they almost have their own language. And you know what, I kind of love it. I want to start incorporating some of this family's common vocab into my every day conversations. Some of the favorites that I have heard this season thus far are...
Vagiggle jaggle. All the fat that jiggles on a person. One of my favorite of Mama June's terms. According to Mama, "I hope I don't see a bunch of wedgies at the waterpark. Vagiggle jaggles gonna be hanging out, though." Clearly, she was including herself in that statement. The woman is self-aware at least.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
On to the Next...
This summer was a good one as I have mentioned many times before. One of the things that made it super fun was
the dating I did. (Mother, don't even ask. Thanks a bunch. I don't have to tell you everything. ) Meeting different people, especially cute men, is always a good time. Amiright? I mean, who doesn't want to talk to a cute guy that is seemingly enjoying himself talking to you?
I met some of these guys through friends and the others out at bars. And sometimes a combination of both. I think my "have an open mind" mindset and my "you have nothing to lose" mentality mixed together this summer gave me a little more confidence with the opposite sex. I consider myself a pretty outgoing person but not the most self-confident all the time, especially when it comes to guys. However, I really tried to put those negative feelings to the side this summer and it rewarded me with quite a few dates. (And gave me some pretty great stories to share with my friends.) Some of these dates were with guys I could see myself actually dating (few and far between), and some were just plain old good times with no real future.
I met some of these guys through friends and the others out at bars. And sometimes a combination of both. I think my "have an open mind" mindset and my "you have nothing to lose" mentality mixed together this summer gave me a little more confidence with the opposite sex. I consider myself a pretty outgoing person but not the most self-confident all the time, especially when it comes to guys. However, I really tried to put those negative feelings to the side this summer and it rewarded me with quite a few dates. (And gave me some pretty great stories to share with my friends.) Some of these dates were with guys I could see myself actually dating (few and far between), and some were just plain old good times with no real future.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Back to school. Oh, back to school.
It's almost that time of year again. The time of year that parents rejoice and kids and teachers must face the reality that their summer is over and its back to the daily grind. That's right folks, the school is about to begin again. UGH! I am about to enter my eighth year teaching, and although I get annoyed and tired from time to time, I actually do really enjoy my job. Not only do I actually like what I do, but it can be different each and every day which is always interesting.
As much as I don't want summer to end, I know that the show must go on and work must begin. It's not all so bad after all. I mean, mama's gotta pay the bills somehow, you know? But in all seriousness there are some definite pros about going back to work. And of course with the pros, there come the cons as well. So here we go, the good and the bad about going back to work...
As much as I don't want summer to end, I know that the show must go on and work must begin. It's not all so bad after all. I mean, mama's gotta pay the bills somehow, you know? But in all seriousness there are some definite pros about going back to work. And of course with the pros, there come the cons as well. So here we go, the good and the bad about going back to work...
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Adios to the OG's of Teen Mom
Tuesday night marked the series finale of the original Teen Mom. Yes, yes, I still watch Teen Mom on MTV. (Okay, okay, and Teen Mom 2). So what? It's awesome. It sounds cliché but I have enjoyed watching these girls and their babies grow up right before us since they were on 16 and Pregnant. Farrah, Macy, Catelynn, and Amber have all had their ups and downs and the MTV cameras were there to catch most of them. And if the MTV cameras weren't there, usually the paparazzi cameras were and they were documented in the tabloids. Farrah with her new boobs, Macy and her on and off relationship with Kyle, Catelynn and Tyler's future wedding plans, and all of Amber's legal woes. (I'd say poor Amber, but I don't feel bad for her at all.)
Since these girls are pretty mainstream lately, most people have at least a little idea of who they are. They are on the cover of tabloids and probably will continue to be for a little while longer. It's amazing to me that four girls, who made irresponsible decisions as teens have become "famous" because of this. But I guess that's the monster that is reality TV in this century. At least their children are set-up with college funds from the money they make from the show. With all that being said, here are my thoughts on the four "OG's" of the Teen Mom empire.
Since these girls are pretty mainstream lately, most people have at least a little idea of who they are. They are on the cover of tabloids and probably will continue to be for a little while longer. It's amazing to me that four girls, who made irresponsible decisions as teens have become "famous" because of this. But I guess that's the monster that is reality TV in this century. At least their children are set-up with college funds from the money they make from the show. With all that being said, here are my thoughts on the four "OG's" of the Teen Mom empire.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Happy Anniversary to Me!
Thank you. Thank you. You are all too kind. |
Since I have done this for a year and I love making lists, I thought I'd make a list of my top five posts of the year. These five posts are ones that meant the most to me, ones that I took the most pride in, or ones that I thought were pretty fantastic. (And let me tell you, it was hard to pick just five!) They also may mark something important that happened or affected me greatly. Obviously there are just so many great posts written since I have begun this journey, but If I had to pick my five faves, these would def be it. Go back and read them. You are sure to enjoy them a second time around.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Sizzlin' Summer TV
Summer TV programming is always fun. Your regular shows are on hiatus for the season and out filming for the new upcoming season which can sometimes be a bummer. However, there are a lot of re-runs on that can help you catch up on series you may have missed and want to give a try. Or watch shows you loved over again. I myself have now watched and the entire series of Laguna Beach on MTV retro mornings twice. Yes, twice. Don't judge. It's been awesome. And Style Network has just started airing Gossip Girl from the beginning on Wednesdays nights which I will obviously be watching. It's fun to watch those shows you haven't seen in ages begin all over again.
On top of my usual Teen Mom, Real Housewives of New York AND New Jersey, Real World and Bachelor Pad, (and let's be serious, sooo much more) there are some new summer shows that I have been tuned into on a weekly basis. They have kept my attention. None are serious dramas, but hey, its summer. Most are pretty thoughtless, and some might even call one or two of them "trashy," but I am an equal opportunist when it comes to my television viewing. I will give most shows a one or two episode trial before I drop them. Fortunately, the shows below made the cut for the summer. And hey, I wouldn't mind so much if they stuck around for a while longer.
On top of my usual Teen Mom, Real Housewives of New York AND New Jersey, Real World and Bachelor Pad, (and let's be serious, sooo much more) there are some new summer shows that I have been tuned into on a weekly basis. They have kept my attention. None are serious dramas, but hey, its summer. Most are pretty thoughtless, and some might even call one or two of them "trashy," but I am an equal opportunist when it comes to my television viewing. I will give most shows a one or two episode trial before I drop them. Fortunately, the shows below made the cut for the summer. And hey, I wouldn't mind so much if they stuck around for a while longer.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
"Feeding" into the cycle
It's not a secret I am always trying to lose weight. Or at least not gain anymore. Ever. It seems that the watching of my waistline never stops. This has been an ongoing issue since high school and I don't think its a fight I am going to win. Even though I am not at a weight that I am happy with, I do however, consider myself to be very knowledgeable in the area of dieting, nutrition, and fitness because it has been such a big part of my life. It's always on my mind. It seems that 90% of my life is worrying about my workouts and my food. It's awfully tiring.
The diet industry continues to make millions and millions of dollars every year and its because of women like me. And even though I know this, I feed into to fad diets. And fad diets really are just that: diets. They are not lifestyle changes. People will go on these diets, lose weight, and then once they stop, they gain it right back. When they do this, they either go back to the original diet or they try a new one. I know this from experience. A lot of experience. It's not something that I am proud of, but it is the truth. I wish I was someone that ate to live, but as it happens to be, I am someone that lives to eat. I love to eat. There I said it. Eating is fun. It can be sociable. And it's oftentimes delicious. Food can make me feel better and put a smile on my face. I am not ashamed to say so. However, sometimes its the over consumption of said food that then makes me feel even worse. It's a bad cycle to fall into.
The diet industry continues to make millions and millions of dollars every year and its because of women like me. And even though I know this, I feed into to fad diets. And fad diets really are just that: diets. They are not lifestyle changes. People will go on these diets, lose weight, and then once they stop, they gain it right back. When they do this, they either go back to the original diet or they try a new one. I know this from experience. A lot of experience. It's not something that I am proud of, but it is the truth. I wish I was someone that ate to live, but as it happens to be, I am someone that lives to eat. I love to eat. There I said it. Eating is fun. It can be sociable. And it's oftentimes delicious. Food can make me feel better and put a smile on my face. I am not ashamed to say so. However, sometimes its the over consumption of said food that then makes me feel even worse. It's a bad cycle to fall into.
Monday, August 20, 2012
My terrible, horrible, no good, very bad WEEK
I've had a pretty awesome summer this far. I have been healthy (Ulcerative Colitis is finally under control) and I have been having so much fun. Trying new things. Partying. Meeting lots of new people (hello gentlemen). Getting my tan on. However, last week was just awful. With a capital "A." I was Alexander, and it was my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad WEEK. After everything was going so well for so long, it was about time for that other shoe to drop, and I guess better now then two weeks from now when work starts up again. Blaaaah. My luck has already begun to change a bit this weekend and things are definitely start looking up. It has to. It needs to.
I hate to think that I was so lucky to have things work in my favor for so long that something bad was bound to happen. That's no way to think through life, but that's how my brain works. I can only hope that because all these bad things happened within a one-week span, that will be the worst of it and things will continue to turn around for the better. So what happened in the last week that really dampened my spirits. (As I wrote this Friday night, things had not yet started to turn around. However, after I had originally written it, things began to get better as evidenced by my updates.) Well, here it goes...
I hate to think that I was so lucky to have things work in my favor for so long that something bad was bound to happen. That's no way to think through life, but that's how my brain works. I can only hope that because all these bad things happened within a one-week span, that will be the worst of it and things will continue to turn around for the better. So what happened in the last week that really dampened my spirits. (As I wrote this Friday night, things had not yet started to turn around. However, after I had originally written it, things began to get better as evidenced by my updates.) Well, here it goes...
Friday, August 17, 2012
What's In MY BAG?
Last week I wrote an blog post similar to an article that is published in US Weekly every week. This week I
decide to be a biter and follow their cue again, but this time
with their "What's in MY BAG?" article. This article asks a celebrity (in this case me, again) what is in their everyday purse. I'm sure its not what's in there every single day, but in general, what do they have in their bag on a normal basis?
I have many purses and rotate them pretty often. But there are quite a few things I transfer each time or have in each bag. But my main bag, my black tote is my everyday bag. So, what's in MY Marc Jacobs tote? So glad you asked.
Never leave home without them. I always, always, always have Chapstick and my iPhone with me. The thought of not having my Chapstick medicated (light blue tube) just makes my lips dry. I am most def addicted to it. And my other semi-addiction is my phone, obvs. This is a big fat duh. I feel naked without it. I need to know numbers and dates. And have music if I am walking around or taking along train ride. Plus I have games too and a camera if I see something or someone I must take a pic of.
I have many purses and rotate them pretty often. But there are quite a few things I transfer each time or have in each bag. But my main bag, my black tote is my everyday bag. So, what's in MY Marc Jacobs tote? So glad you asked.
Never leave home without them. I always, always, always have Chapstick and my iPhone with me. The thought of not having my Chapstick medicated (light blue tube) just makes my lips dry. I am most def addicted to it. And my other semi-addiction is my phone, obvs. This is a big fat duh. I feel naked without it. I need to know numbers and dates. And have music if I am walking around or taking along train ride. Plus I have games too and a camera if I see something or someone I must take a pic of.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Yoga...its more than just the pants!
There were many reasons that I didn't do yoga before. I thought it would be too slow. Too boring. Not good enough of a workout. Too expensive. So many excuses. But this summer I vowed to give it a go because I thought I owed it to myself and my friends and family that really thought it would be beneficial to me. Now that I have been doing yoga for a month now, there are quite a few things I appreciate it about it now.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Waiving those Red Flags
When you start dating someone, you are happy, giddy, and excited. You finally met someone you are interested in and may want them to become your official significant other. When you guys are together the first few times, you are the best "you" you can be, all while being yourself. You assume the same about him as well. You two want to get to know each other and show each other why you are so great and should be with each other. During this initial courting/dating period though, sometimes us ladies might ignore the "red flags" that guys might be throwing. These are things you notice in other people all the time, but the blinders might come on when you actually like someone.
It's good to be open-minded when you are first dating someone because you don't want to dismiss them for one little thing. But if that one little thing that is annoying/rude/irritating keeps happening, can you ignore it? If he does a bunch of different annoying/rude/irritating things that all keep adding up, can you just forget about them because you like him so much? I don't think so. How many red flags are too many?
It's good to be open-minded when you are first dating someone because you don't want to dismiss them for one little thing. But if that one little thing that is annoying/rude/irritating keeps happening, can you ignore it? If he does a bunch of different annoying/rude/irritating things that all keep adding up, can you just forget about them because you like him so much? I don't think so. How many red flags are too many?
Friday, August 10, 2012
Songs of MY Summer
With about three weeks left of my summer, I am trying to take in as much as I can. So far this summer I have been going out a lot and running a lot. This means I have been hearing a lot of music. And when I hear good music, my head starts boppin', my shoulders start shruggin', and my booty starts shakin'. Sometimes I just can't fight it.
Most of the songs I have been listening too aren't exactly new, but more-so new to me. And so I have been listening to many of the same songs over and over again. It's a little bit of a problem, but I'll survive. (I need to make up for lost time after all.) All the songs pretty much are of different genres so the list below might look a little strange if it was a playlist. But you know what, its my playlist and I can play whatever I please! The one thing that all these songs do have in common is that they are ridiculously catchy and awesome. Does a song really need anything more than that? I think not. So with all that being said, here are MY top 5 songs of the summer of 2012. Rock on.
1. Danza Kuduro- Don Omar Ft. Lucenzo. This is a song I have heard a few times before, usually from my students. I always liked it but didn't think anything of it because it was in Spanish and I couldn't really sing along. However, the beat is so awesome I finally asked them the name of the song and artist so I could download it and dance to it in the comfort of my own home. I don't know how people can stand still hearing this beat.
Most of the songs I have been listening too aren't exactly new, but more-so new to me. And so I have been listening to many of the same songs over and over again. It's a little bit of a problem, but I'll survive. (I need to make up for lost time after all.) All the songs pretty much are of different genres so the list below might look a little strange if it was a playlist. But you know what, its my playlist and I can play whatever I please! The one thing that all these songs do have in common is that they are ridiculously catchy and awesome. Does a song really need anything more than that? I think not. So with all that being said, here are MY top 5 songs of the summer of 2012. Rock on.
1. Danza Kuduro- Don Omar Ft. Lucenzo. This is a song I have heard a few times before, usually from my students. I always liked it but didn't think anything of it because it was in Spanish and I couldn't really sing along. However, the beat is so awesome I finally asked them the name of the song and artist so I could download it and dance to it in the comfort of my own home. I don't know how people can stand still hearing this beat.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Olympic Fever
Myself, like many others the last week or so has been swept up in Olympic fever. I am embarrassed to say how much Olympics I have been watching. But I love it. I am in awe of so many of the Olympians. The time, the effort, the sacrifice they have given to compete in these games is just incredible. And many of them have such inspirational stories, some of them even overcoming adversity as well. And I'm sure we all know that when I see a personal profile or montage on NBC about their inspirational story, I cry like a baby. Typical.
And lets also not forget about all the eye candy at the games as well. Hello Ryan Lochte, Jeff Adrian, the many Men's water polo teams, The US basketball team (obvi!), Matt Anderson (US Men's volleyball) and the list certainly goes on. And on. (Seriously, click those links!!) (And while you're at it, this one too because it will give you a chuckle.)
And lets also not forget about all the eye candy at the games as well. Hello Ryan Lochte, Jeff Adrian, the many Men's water polo teams, The US basketball team (obvi!), Matt Anderson (US Men's volleyball) and the list certainly goes on. And on. (Seriously, click those links!!) (And while you're at it, this one too because it will give you a chuckle.)
Monday, August 6, 2012
25 Things You Don't Know About Me
Every Thursday I run to the mailbox to get my US Weekly. It's one of the best $52 I spend all year. It's a good magazine for someone like me that has ADD. The articles are pretty short and not too wordy (I am looking at you People!) so I can cruise through it without much thought and learn a ton. Usually by the time I get the magazine I know about 70% of what's in it (from the news and other blogs I read), but I still love reading it and catching up on all the new celeb gossip. I sometimes even get good book recommendations in there. Who would have thought?
Anyway, each week US has a featured "column" with a celebrity called "25 Things You Don't Know About Me" and the celeb goes ahead and lists 25 random fact about themselves. I always, always think to myself as I am reading this "What if US called me and asked me to do this? What would I write down?" Well, why should I wait for US when I have this great avenue to make this exact list? (And we all know how much I love lists!) The stuff I put on this list, some of you who know me well might already know, but others might learn something new about me.
Anyway, each week US has a featured "column" with a celebrity called "25 Things You Don't Know About Me" and the celeb goes ahead and lists 25 random fact about themselves. I always, always think to myself as I am reading this "What if US called me and asked me to do this? What would I write down?" Well, why should I wait for US when I have this great avenue to make this exact list? (And we all know how much I love lists!) The stuff I put on this list, some of you who know me well might already know, but others might learn something new about me.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Screw the Rules
One of the many shows that I watch is Bravo's Miss Advised. If you haven't seen or heard of this show, its about three women, who are "dating experts" yet are all single. They all give advice to other women all over the country from their respective roles (author, matchmaker, sex expert), yet don't seem to follow their own advice when it comes to guys and dating. So that's the role I am going to play today. I am the single 30-year-old woman giving dating advice. You know, because I am such a pro at landing a man. Work with me here.
Even though its 2012, there still seems to be these "rules" out there that both guys and girls think exist and have to be followed to gain a significant other. Well, guess what? They don't. If you like someone, freaking call them. If you have sex with someone on the first date, you are not a whore or a slut. Do what feels right. I mean, really, if you know who you are and what you want, then do what you need to do. Screw the rules.
Even though its 2012, there still seems to be these "rules" out there that both guys and girls think exist and have to be followed to gain a significant other. Well, guess what? They don't. If you like someone, freaking call them. If you have sex with someone on the first date, you are not a whore or a slut. Do what feels right. I mean, really, if you know who you are and what you want, then do what you need to do. Screw the rules.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
The Summer of George
"I proclaim this...the Summer of George!" One of the most well-known Seinfeld moments in the show's run. And this summer is not the first time I have used this mantra for myself, and I am sure it won't be the last. But this summer I am taking it up a notch. I not only have the whole summer off to do whatever I want, I have decided that I want to use this time to try new things and explore more options for myself. I want to rise to a higher level. This my friends, is going to be awesome. Obvi.
1) Yoga. I have been told by numerous people to try yoga. It would be good for both my mind and body. I have always been told that I need to mellow out and yoga would help me do that. I have been told it might help with my stomach/UC issues as well. I also know that doing yoga would increase my flexibility and strength which I would def love, especially with my running. However, my major problem is that I am a little ADD. This was always my fear with yoga. I was afraid I would be so bored because of the slow pace of class. I mean, I am used to hard core spin or kickboxing classes, not mellow yoga. But you know what, I decided I wanted to incorporate it into my weekly routine and go at least once a week. So far, I have been good and stuck with it. And surprisingly enough, I have felt it in my body. I sweat like I am spinning and my muscles definitely were feeling it the next day. It's been an awesome challenge. But I must admit, that it has not been mellowing for me.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Running Plusses
Now that I am into the start of week four of my marathon training, I am
rediscovering some things I had forgotten about this whole consistent
running thing. I am going to focus on all the good things that come of all of this
because I am trying to be really positive about this whole training
experience this time around since as previously mentioned,
my motivation is lacking. Since I haven't really had a routine that
included long runs in a long time (minus one week in May when I was
finally feeling great), its actually feeling pretty decent to get back into it. Yes, its cutting into my social life a bit, but I need to work out anyway, so having the training is a good excuse for now.
Since I have been back in action, there are a few things I have recently re-discovered during training that I realized I really do enjoy and missed in my life in a bit.
1) Wearing new running shoes. I make no secret of my love for gym shoes. I love them. I have more pairs than I'd like to admit. And while I don't workout in most of them (they are more for everyday wear), its the running shoes I get the greatest pleasure out of putting on for the first time. Those first few steps you take in them are like walking on air. And the first run in them is usually pretty awesome. It's like you have new legs. New running shoes are so cushy and comfortable and you wish they could stay that way for every mile you run. Unfortch that is not the case and they will eventually wear down, but then you get to put on that new pair of shoes again and voila, you get that feeling again!
Since I have been back in action, there are a few things I have recently re-discovered during training that I realized I really do enjoy and missed in my life in a bit.
1) Wearing new running shoes. I make no secret of my love for gym shoes. I love them. I have more pairs than I'd like to admit. And while I don't workout in most of them (they are more for everyday wear), its the running shoes I get the greatest pleasure out of putting on for the first time. Those first few steps you take in them are like walking on air. And the first run in them is usually pretty awesome. It's like you have new legs. New running shoes are so cushy and comfortable and you wish they could stay that way for every mile you run. Unfortch that is not the case and they will eventually wear down, but then you get to put on that new pair of shoes again and voila, you get that feeling again!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
My Fave Inventions
So let's talk about those things in our lives that have improved our lives tenfold. Those things that now that we have them, wonder what the heck we did before they existed. Sure, we coped because we didn't realize that something out there was so great. And now that they are in our lives, we are definitely living life much, much better. Most of those things might be completely useless to someone else, but to you, they made such a positive difference. These are "inventions" that have entered my life in the past ten years or so that I now can't imagine not having. Some of these are obviously more important than others to me but nonetheless, they have improved my quality of life so, so much. So for me, five things that have entered my life now that I simply can't imagine not having are...
1) DVR. Need I say more? I cannot live without my DVR. I mean, I rarely watch any TV live anymore. Even if I have nothing to do during showtime, I will purposely do something for the first 10 minutes of a half hour show or twenty minutes of an hour show, so I can then watch it in full with zero commercials. I have it down to a science. I also now watch much more TV than I should because of this. It makes it so easy. I honestly don't know how I lived so long taping things on VHS tapes with everything I watched back then too. Although I love my DVR and its the best $10 I spend every month, I do wish I had one where I could DVR more than two things AND watch something else though. A girl can dream, can't she?
1) DVR. Need I say more? I cannot live without my DVR. I mean, I rarely watch any TV live anymore. Even if I have nothing to do during showtime, I will purposely do something for the first 10 minutes of a half hour show or twenty minutes of an hour show, so I can then watch it in full with zero commercials. I have it down to a science. I also now watch much more TV than I should because of this. It makes it so easy. I honestly don't know how I lived so long taping things on VHS tapes with everything I watched back then too. Although I love my DVR and its the best $10 I spend every month, I do wish I had one where I could DVR more than two things AND watch something else though. A girl can dream, can't she?
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Having my health back!
Cheers to solid poop and no cramping! Wooooot! |
One of my main goals for the summer was to get healthy and have a "normal" summer without having to go somewhere and immediately wonder where the bathroom is and do I have enough wipes with me. TMI much?! But seriously, this has been a legitimate concern of mine for almost the entire last year minus a few weeks here and there.
I know I only have Ulcerative Colitis and not some life threatening awful, terrible disease in my case at the moment, but I do know that I will not take feeling healthy again for granted. This past year of waking up every single morning wondering how I will feel, and if my health will get in the way of my daily activities is hopefully something of the past. It's not fun to worry about this. And the worrying also can contribute to the stomach issues as well. Its a bad cycle to fall into and its one that I think (and hope) I am out of.
Friday, July 20, 2012
The Virgins are back!
Okay, so TLC's Virgin Diaries is back! Are you as excited as I am? The last time it was on, I was horrified and entertained all at the same time. And I kind of felt dirty afterwards. And then, as quick as it arrived, it was gone. TLC only aired one-episode even though it received a lot of press about that one episode (including a hilarious blog post by moi); mainly because of "The Kiss." Ugh. Ick. Hopefully though, this time around it's not a one-time deal. Such a tease TLC. Don't play me like that this time.
This week's episode features three virgins, one guy and two girls. The girls, 29 and 32 years old, were both cute and pretty normal seeming. One was saving herself for marriage (understandable) and the other was just looking for the right guy to do it with for her first time (she succeeded). There wasn't much to say about the girls because they did seem pretty normal and just happened to be virgins at an older age which isn't a huge deal, but the guy, on the other hand, was odd to say the least.
Skippy, the 33-years-old male Mormon who still lives in his parent's basement was our weirdo this episode. Virgin or no virgin, this guy was bizarre. There are two things that Skippy wants us to know off the bat about himself: 1) He collects T-shirts with his name and 2) He collects his own belly button lint. In a jar. Did you just throw up in your mouth for a second reading that? Because when I watched it, I definitely did. GROSS!! (This isn't even a joke. I couldn't make that up if I tried.)
This week's episode features three virgins, one guy and two girls. The girls, 29 and 32 years old, were both cute and pretty normal seeming. One was saving herself for marriage (understandable) and the other was just looking for the right guy to do it with for her first time (she succeeded). There wasn't much to say about the girls because they did seem pretty normal and just happened to be virgins at an older age which isn't a huge deal, but the guy, on the other hand, was odd to say the least.
So this is Skippy... |
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
How Rude!
I recently read an article online about how forgetting someone's name can be "sublty disrespectful, and by subtly, we mean with a blatant disregard for giving a shit about other people’s feelings." This pretty much sums up the situation. And as someone who has been on both ends of this situation and some others, its pretty annoying. Whether or not the person is doing it intentionally or unintentionally, it can be super insulting. In the words of Stephanie Tanner "How rude!" But seriously, there are some things that people can do that perhaps have no intention of being rude, but really end up being so. Below are a few of these things...
1) "What's your name again?" The classic mentioned above and in the article I mentioned. This is something I rarely will ask someone even though I forget their name. I have too much pride to ask them again if I have already asked once. It shows them I totally didn't listen and/or care the first time they told me. When I first meet someone at a party or a bar and assume I will never speak to or see them again, I really make little effort to remember their name. Bad habit, I know. And the fact that I am usually heavily drinking compounds this problem. However, as the night progresses and we do begin to chat, I will feel embarrassed I don't remember their name so will have a friend find out or introduce themselves so I don't look like the asshole. It's even worse if you are speaking to this person and they are like "hey, do you even remember my name?" and you have no idea. Um yes, this has happened to me. And then I will take a guess or two and maybe be lucky, but usually come off looking like a dick.
1) "What's your name again?" The classic mentioned above and in the article I mentioned. This is something I rarely will ask someone even though I forget their name. I have too much pride to ask them again if I have already asked once. It shows them I totally didn't listen and/or care the first time they told me. When I first meet someone at a party or a bar and assume I will never speak to or see them again, I really make little effort to remember their name. Bad habit, I know. And the fact that I am usually heavily drinking compounds this problem. However, as the night progresses and we do begin to chat, I will feel embarrassed I don't remember their name so will have a friend find out or introduce themselves so I don't look like the asshole. It's even worse if you are speaking to this person and they are like "hey, do you even remember my name?" and you have no idea. Um yes, this has happened to me. And then I will take a guess or two and maybe be lucky, but usually come off looking like a dick.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Kyrptonite
"He's your kryptonite you know, right?" Yes, yes I know this already. And I hate myself for it. Why oh why does he do this to me? And does he really even know he is doing this to me? And why oh why do I let him get to me like this?
According to UrbanDictionary.com, Kryptonite can be defined as "Related to the Superman movies: Superman's weakness. The only thing that can hurt the man of steel. A man/woman that calls someone their Kryptonite means that they are their weakness. Someone or something they have to stay away from because they want it even though it's not good for them or will hurt them. Someone you want but can't have can be called your Kryptonite.
Ex) "You like Jane?"
"Yeah dude but I gotta stay away from her because she's got a boyfriend. She's my Kryptonite."
According to UrbanDictionary.com, Kryptonite can be defined as "Related to the Superman movies: Superman's weakness. The only thing that can hurt the man of steel. A man/woman that calls someone their Kryptonite means that they are their weakness. Someone or something they have to stay away from because they want it even though it's not good for them or will hurt them. Someone you want but can't have can be called your Kryptonite.
Ex) "You like Jane?"
"Yeah dude but I gotta stay away from her because she's got a boyfriend. She's my Kryptonite."
Friday, July 13, 2012
Half a Year Wiser?
Omigod you guys, yesterday was my 30-and-a-half birthday so thanks for all the well-wishes! Kidding. No one even acknowledged it. Sad face. But seriously, I can't believe that I have been thirty for six months now. I still cringe when I tell people how old I am. That is, if I actually tell them my real age. I usually like to joke around/lie and say that I am 26 when people ask me. NBD, right? I mean, I still don't feel like I am 30. I just re-read my "Dirty Thirty" birthday blog that I wrote six months ago and it was cool to see where my head was at then. One huge plus of writing this blog is going back to the archives and read stuff I wrote months ago and see what and how I was feeling. And you know what, I am still feeling some of that stuff that I was on my birthday. I for sure don't feel like I am old and thirty. (And I don't think I look like it either!!)
I also went back and re-read a post I wrote in October about my fear of turning 30 and all the things that still would or would not be acceptable when I actually turned the ripe old age of 30. I just looked it over again and kind of laughed to myself because not much has changed. And I don't care. There isn't a certain way a 30-year-old should act and I am going to do me. And yesterday I did just that. And that means, lots of tears.
Memories... |
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Mind over Matter
Last Monday was my first official day of marathon training. Dun, dun, dun. Blah. Eighteen weeks (well 17 now) until the ING New York City Marathon. Eighteen weeks until 26.2 miles. I don't know why I sign up for this stuff (yes I do, I really do love it), but I continue to do so. I should be excited, right?
The past few times I have signed up for a marathon, I was nothing short of psyched and motivated. This time around, I have a very "meh" feeling. I was originally registered for last year's marathon and a series of events (the continual extreme heat, a bad UC flare, and a broken foot) led to me deferring my entry. Yes, I did lose my $180 registration fee to save my spot in order to pay $220 for this year's (highway robbery!) but I assumed I'd be excited to start this adventure again. Who was I freaking kidding?
The past few times I have signed up for a marathon, I was nothing short of psyched and motivated. This time around, I have a very "meh" feeling. I was originally registered for last year's marathon and a series of events (the continual extreme heat, a bad UC flare, and a broken foot) led to me deferring my entry. Yes, I did lose my $180 registration fee to save my spot in order to pay $220 for this year's (highway robbery!) but I assumed I'd be excited to start this adventure again. Who was I freaking kidding?
Monday, July 9, 2012
Girls...Just like us
The show Girls on HBO came out this year to much fanfare and criticism. It was being talked about everywhere on the web and on TV. And even though I am pretty on par with my pop culture and TV watching, I can't afford premium cable so I don't get HBO. Therefore I didn't get a chance to watch the show when it first aired. Since I am currently in Chicago at my parent's house on summer vacay, I not only have all the time in world to do whatever I want, but they also have pretty much every channel available on their TV and On Demand. Pretty awesome. I decided that one of my many goals while at home was to watch the entire 10 episode first season of Girls and see what everyone has been talking about. Pretty lofty goal, I know. Be jealous.
As a young woman in New York, I assumed I'd easily relate to this show. And of course, I immediately did. The four girls in the show, Hannah, Marni, Shoshanna, and Jessa are certainly not the new Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda of HBO, but they certainly are relateable to young women like myself.
As a young woman in New York, I assumed I'd easily relate to this show. And of course, I immediately did. The four girls in the show, Hannah, Marni, Shoshanna, and Jessa are certainly not the new Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda of HBO, but they certainly are relateable to young women like myself.