I have made no secret in the past for my love of most reality TV. I have no shame. If it's on Bravo, VH1, or MTV, I will most likely give it a try. Whether or not I stick with a show is debatable, but I will at least give it a shot. Usually a one or two episode trial. One show that I have stuck with year after year, season after season, and location after location, is the Real Housewives of _________ on Bravo. Thanks a lot Andy Cohen. He really hit a gold mine with this series and I have seen them all. Yes, ALL. From the OG's of the OC to the one-season DC women and everything else in between. (And of course a majority of the spin-offs as well!)Bravo's Housewives franchise is far from real. These women are catty, immature, superficial, and often times delusional. Those traits I'm sure are very real, but sometimes the situations they are in are not totally authentic. And many of them want more screen time so take up their terrible traits a few notches to get more screen time. Very few of them are what I would consider "normal." But who am I to judge, right? (I mean, I do tune in week after week, don't I? So what does that make me?) Some of these women aren't even real housewives in the true definition of the word. Some aren't married and most don't actually participate in actual housewife duties. But guess what, almost all of them are laughing all the way to the bank and I am slaving away at work day after day and making peanuts.
A little while back I was texting with one of my friends about how we we wish we didn't have to work. Blah. It's draining. It's can be annoying. And we just need to win the lottery already. Or perhaps, we just need to marry rich and become a "housewife." Yes, we really talk about this stuff.
Although a majority of the "Housewives" on Bravo are untalented, mostly aggravating, and pretending to be richer than they are, many of them have all parlayed their Housewives gigs into wine labels, vodka labels, New York Times bestselling books, make-up lines, skin care lines, jewelery lines, dress lines, wig lines, sex toys, iTunes singles, handbags, toaster ovens, etc... Do I really need to keep going?
These women come on our TV screens each week, (sometimes multiple times if I am lucky), and go to charity events, dinners, shopping excursions, and even vacations together all while drinking, fighting, and generally being unlikeable. And people tune in. Week after freaking week. We talk about them to our friends like we actually know them (See above for prime example). But what if we were one of them? Would we handle it like they do? I'd like to hope not.
What would I do all day if I didn't have to work? Hmmm.... Let's see... Workout at SoulCycle, Fitting Room, or YogaWorks and then hit up Juice Generation for a post-workout juice. All while wearing my new Lululemon gear. Duh. Then I would shower and head off to either volunteer at the Crohn's and Colitis foundation a few times a week and obviously shop the other days. And perhaps I would work out again in the afternoon. And lets not forget the bi-weekly blow-out, weekly spray tan, and bi-monthly massage and pedicure to fit in there too. (I am so not kidding about any of this. If money was no object....) Finally I would head home where my chef was preparing dinner for my family and wait for the kids to get home from school and activities. Wow, I'm just exhausted explaining my no-work-because-I'm-so-wealthy day. What a life!
And next, what would I want to brand? (I would like to make my own money after all.) Workout clothes/Activewear? Headbands? Fresh-Pressed Juice? Perhaps all of the above.
So Andy Cohen, you get today's Mazel of the Day for your creation. It keeps me entertained and very thankful I am not even close to being as insane as these women are. But you also get the Jackhole of the Week for creating so many monsters and the ridiculous products that they created. Would I like to be Housewife? Maybe. But I don't foresee that ever happening. Instead I will just dream about my life as a non-working, wealthy woman, be thankful I am neither insane or delusional and
have America sit back and judge me for it.
What would I do all day if I didn't have to work? Hmmm.... Let's see... Workout at SoulCycle, Fitting Room, or YogaWorks and then hit up Juice Generation for a post-workout juice. All while wearing my new Lululemon gear. Duh. Then I would shower and head off to either volunteer at the Crohn's and Colitis foundation a few times a week and obviously shop the other days. And perhaps I would work out again in the afternoon. And lets not forget the bi-weekly blow-out, weekly spray tan, and bi-monthly massage and pedicure to fit in there too. (I am so not kidding about any of this. If money was no object....) Finally I would head home where my chef was preparing dinner for my family and wait for the kids to get home from school and activities. Wow, I'm just exhausted explaining my no-work-because-I'm-so-wealthy day. What a life!
And next, what would I want to brand? (I would like to make my own money after all.) Workout clothes/Activewear? Headbands? Fresh-Pressed Juice? Perhaps all of the above.
So Andy Cohen, you get today's Mazel of the Day for your creation. It keeps me entertained and very thankful I am not even close to being as insane as these women are. But you also get the Jackhole of the Week for creating so many monsters and the ridiculous products that they created. Would I like to be Housewife? Maybe. But I don't foresee that ever happening. Instead I will just dream about my life as a non-working, wealthy woman, be thankful I am neither insane or delusional and
have America sit back and judge me for it.
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