Monday, September 22, 2014

What is Wrong with People?!?!?!

So at the start of summer, you all know my curiosity got the best of me and I got Tinder. It was fun at first because it was new, easy, and actually quite entertaining. But then I got bored. I've actually been meaning to delete my Tinder account for a while now. I'm kind of over it. It actually lasted much longer than I thought it would which surprised me, but now, I'm just done. Blah.

In my three month Tinder tenure, I went on three Tinder dates. All three guys were totally normal, but just not for me. Nice enough guys, but no real attraction. And now that work and coaching are back in full gear and I am training for two marathons, dating is the furthest thing on my mind. I maybe log onto Tinder like once a week, if that, nowadays. And each time I do go on it, I think to myself "If this is what's out there, I give up." Ugh. I mean, seriously, what is wrong with some people?!?! I know its only Tinder, but it's demoralizing nonetheless. If this is what's out there within a five mile radius, ages 30-34 then I give up.

Last weekend I was out with my friend and we were in a bar and scrolling our Tinders out of boredom. I hadn't been on in a week so figured I'd get some decent finds. No such luck. It seems each time I go on, the guys are just weirder and weirder. Seriously, for every 50 pictures, I maybe swipe right on two. Two. (And they aren't swiping right back at me. Sigh.)

When I first got Tinder I would screenshot all the really bizarre pictures to my friends, but I never kept the photos because there were so many. I'm not talking about super ugly guys (#sorrynotsorry), guys with visible cold sores on their mouths (yes this happened), pictures of them and their kids (not for me), or them and their WIVES/Girlfriends (also not my thing), but fucking weird, awkward, how-can-you-think-this-is-possibly-acceptable pictures. I mean, who is actually swiping right on these people? Sure there is someone for everyone, but geez.

I had actually meant to write a blog post about all the fucking-loser-weirdos out there a while back, but never got to it. And of course I didn't want to look like a total shallow-bitchface, (but that ship has clearly sailed). Then last week while my friend and I were talking about all these said weirdos, she said I should just write the post because she had so much material to work with too and whipped out her phone to show me the screenshotted truth. So with that, I decided I would keep my Tinder around for the weekend so I could get some more ammo for this post and then would finally delete the app. Well, I think someone was eavesdropping on our conversation because low and behold, Thought Catolog stole our idea and wrote a post on just that! Not surprisingy enough in their post entitled "16 of the Most Cringe-Worthy Tinder Pictures of All Times," I had actually come across two of those profiles in my Tinder adventures. Of course I swiped left on both duh. Seriously, once again, what is wrong with people?

Anyway, the Thought Catalog post made me really want to write mine so I finally got at it; I just wish I had done it earlier because I had deleted so many of the screenshots. They were taking up so much room on my phone. Not even kidding. There were that many of them. So without furthur ado, here are some of my and my friend's most bizarre, cringe-worthy Tinder profiles over this past weekend. (Yes, not even all-time, but THIS weekend.) There are just so many out there, its unreal.

Okay this first one doesn't have a weird picture, but just read "About Adam." (He's looking for a fun, sexy girl to join him and his wife/gf.)  Ummmm.... Does your wife/gf even know you are doing this? Adam, this is what Craigslist is for. 
Okay, now on to the real winners here. And by winners, I mean weirdos. 






 

Last but not least because I give him mad props for this photoshopping job as it must have taken some time. But seriously, dude. 
I mean, seriously, do these people think they are funny? Are they just playing a little game? Or are they for real. Whatever it is, it's fucking bizarre. Am I superficial for thinking so? Probably. And do I care? No.

This was literally just a snapshot of what's out there. All you people in relationships, be happy that you don't have to deal with this. Be happy you aren't out in this awful dating world because this is what's out there. THIS IS IT.

And with that, adios Tinder. It's been fun. And entertaining. And slightly addictive. Yet my love life is no better than where it was when we started. So with that, you are officially deleted. Peace out homey. 

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