I've been training through the summer heat and humidity.
I've run through DC, Spain, Portugal, Prague, Chicago, Boston, and of course through NYC.
I've been eating lots of carbs (and everything else within a one millimeter vicinity).
I've been hydrating and sleeping excessively.
I've been wearing compression socks for countless hours.
I've been listening to some of the same songs over and over again.
I've drunk a ton of chocolate milk and watermelon juice and Nuun.
I've been worrying.
I've been crying.
I've been training for a marathon.
Training for a marathon clearly takes a lot of out of a person. It takes it's toll on me physically and mentally and yet I continue to actually find happiness in this. It may not be constant happiness, but it's there. Usually at some point on a run, no matter how long or how awful, I usually crack at least one smile.
This will be my 4th Chicago and 10th overall marathon. I sign up for them knowing what I'm getting myself into and actually do it pretty casually. Like sure, I'll give up four months of my life again and become a crazy, emotional, rigid, psycho. NBD.
Today, one of my friends posted the Chicago Marathon race highlight video from last year on Facebook and tagged me in it. As I watched the video, tears began streaming down my face. Then there was a moment of full blown crying. It was at that point, I realized what a big fucking deal running a marathon is. I take that for granted constantly and sell myself short in that regard and that's not cool. I'm all "yeah, I'm running the marathon again" like some people would say about a 5k. But you know what? This isn't just another race. This is a marathon. And 26.2 miles is a big fucking deal no matter what way you slice it. It's not easy. No matter how many times I do it, it is not an easy task. From the four months of training to the actual race itself, it is hard. It takes dedication. It takes sacrifice. It takes belief. It takes determination. It takes strength. And so much more. So yeah, I'll say it again, it's a big fucking deal.
Even though the last couple of weeks have been a big struggle for me because of exhaustion, soreness, and even lots of pain, I have tried my best to keep up with my training. I've gotten in my long runs and tried to cross train when I knew running wasn't just going to happen. As I stated in my last post, I know this is most likely not going to be a PR race for me, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to go out and give it my all. Chicago is my hometown race the place and where my first marathon was ran. That's sentimental to me. It also happens to be a city I absolutely love.
So today, I write because I actually feel gratitude for myself. I'm proud to say that I am a marathon runner. I am constantly shocked at what my body can do for me. I may hate what it looks like and cry about that all the damn time, but it is strong. I can only hope it will cooperate for me next Sunday. From the expo to the starting line to crossing the finish line, I promise myself to take in this whole marathon experience and really appreciate myself for what I'm about to do.
In ten days, I am about to run a marathon and I have earned the right to be proud of myself up until this point no matter what happens that day. The hay is in the barn so to speak and what will be, will be. But just because we can, keep those fingers crossed that this race goes off without a hitch and I cross that finish line with a smile on my face and with tears of joy running down my face. Because lets face it, we know there will be tears, (lots of them), so let them be happy tears!
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