So what's been going on here you ask? How am I keeping busy with myself? What the heck have I been doing? Well, here's the lowdown of my fresh start here back in Chi-town...
1) I have been training for the Chicago Marathon. And let me tell you, its not going well. This will for sure not be a goal race for me. In fact this is a race I am not even sure I will finish. And if I do, I just hope to do it without re-injuring myself. If you remember, I hurt myself pretty badly in May at the Brooklyn Half Marathon and was pretty fucking miserable the entire race and for a few weeks after. It was a partial tear of my hamstring which meant a lot of rest (which I am NOT good at) and some PT. I did about six weeks of PT and came back slowly, but it has still been bothering me on and off. I didn't actually start training for the marathon until about eight weeks later than my training should have begun. I was very careful and cautious when starting with the longer runs again and managed to re-adjust my training schedule and build up my mileage again. I successfully ran my 17 and 18 mile training runs with gas still in the tank and minimal discomfort, but re-aggravated it on my what-should-have-been-20-miler two weeks ago and had to actually call it quits at 16 miles. As soon as I felt the pain start to increase, I didn't want to push it any further and aggravate it even more on a training run. I rested it almost all week, got some acupuncture (which many of my friends swear by so I had to try it because at this point, it can't hurt) and then did a half-marathon this past weekend where my hamstring was decent, but everything else was lethargic and my head just wasn't in the game. That is so not like me at all. Usually I can use a lot of positive self-talk and get my head out of a bad race, but that didn't happen Sunday. As I crossed that finish line, the thought of doing another 13.1 seemed damn near impossible. Usually at this point in training, 13 miles is cake, but Sunday was mostly a head game, and I lost. I need to re-tune my mindset and thinking about running and stop being so scared. I feel like I'm waiting for the ball to drop again and to hear that little pop in my hammy and it's holding me back and playing mind games with me. That is no way to go into a big race, especially a marathon. So with about a week and a half until the big day, I have resolved with myself that if I am really hurting, I will walk off the course and take the DNF. It's not worth really re-injuring myself, or even worse, tearing my hamstring fully. This race will be more of a test for me mentally than others in the past and I am just going to play the whole thing by ear and hope for the best.
2) I was job hunting for a bit. When I made the decision to move here, I knew I wasn't going to be looking to teach full-time. I wanted a change of pace job-wise and ultimately get into the fitness industry. My grand plan was to work at Lululemon and teach spin classes. After a few weeks of enjoying the rest of my summer here with no job worries, I set off to apply to Lulu and send out my resumé and cover letter to some spin studios.
After three interviews at Lululemon, I got the job (!!) but won't start for another month. Although I have never worked retail before and am a little nervous I may not like it or make enough money to pay rent, I am looking forward to work for them. I love the culture of the brand and what it stands for, and am excited to be a part of it because I feel it does fit who I am. Unfortunately and embarrassingly enough though, the two spin auditions I went on didn't go well. I was rejected from both studios and I was bummed, discouraged, and frustrated. I know I don't have the ideal fitness instructor body and I won't lie and say that isn't part of the reason I feel that I didn't get these jobs. Am I too fat to lead the pack? Is this my problem? Maybe. I know I ride the bike well and know I have fantastic taste in music (like seriously, I do) and a good presence in a room; however, with the format of the auditions I feel my nerves also got the best of me and I just wasn't able to showcase my full abilities, energy, and enthusiasm. I don't know why I got up there and couldn't totally be myself. Maybe it was the fact I was riding the bike in front of an empty room with just one or two people watching me and judging. It just felt inauthentic from my end because I didn't have a full class (and yes I know not all classes I'd teach would be full, but I wouldn't feel as under the microscope). I guess I need to learn how to nail auditions like that because they are the norm, so I will keep going to classes and trying to improve and will hopefully audition again come winter with more confidence of doing it that way.
Additionally, because I wasn't so sure what jobs I would get and which ones I wouldn't, I also impulsively decided to send my resumé to two private schools in my neighborhood for subbing opportunities. Although I definitely want (read: need) a break from teaching full-time, I really don't want to completely lose touch with the education system and wanted to keep my hand it the pot so to speak. Since I have not transferred over my New York teaching license for Illinois credentials, I can not sub in the public school system so private school was the only route I could go. Plus, since I'll be subbing, there will be no lesson planning, grading, staff meetings, and all the other stuff I had gotten quite sick of and bored with. I started subbing this week and the school is phenomenal. The physical space is amazing, the other teachers were super nice, and the kids were respectful and did their work quietly. I think it will be a great fit for me while I make this adjustment.
3) I have been Tinder/Bumble dating. And guess what? Same shit, different day. Blah blah blah. When I moved here I was actually psyched to see different faces on the apps and get out there and meet new people, but it turns out, the guys in Chicago are pretty much the same as the ones in NYC when it comes to communication, common courtesy, and everything else. Because I don't really have any friends here, the only going out I've really done is through these dates. None of these dates have been too terrible and even a few were even considered to be good, but I really would like to meet some girlfriends to go out with and meet guys IRL. But until then, I'll get out there and do my thang and collect some good stories and funny screenshots, and who knows, maybe even meet someone I want to spend more time with.
4) I have been exploring different neighborhoods. With time to spare and nice weather, I have been checking out different parts of the city that I really never spent much time in. Chicago is enormous and there are tons of cute neighborhoods, each with their own identity. (I still love my hood the best because of its close proximity to the lake, all the restaurants, bars, and shopping, as well as easy access to public transportation.) I've been to a bunch of these hoods a couple of times before, but didn't really know my way around much then or where I was relative to other neighborhoods. I definitely have a better grasp on the city now and have become much more familiar with it. I've also been able to visit some of my favorite places in the city like the Museum of Science and Industry and the Lincoln Park Zoo and a few other places that I now can go to on my own via public trans. And finally, this time has also given me some opportunities to check out some restaurants in the city I've been wanting to try as well (although my list of them keeps growing). I mean, if money were no object I could wander the city and try new restaurants all day, every day. Not a bad way to kill a day.
My triumphant return to Chicago has really been great so far. Minus the part where I really don't have any friends yet (but I know once work gets going it'll happen), it's really been better than expected. There have been some bumps in the road, but I know I'll overcome them and eventually come into my own here. I was desperate for a change of pace and a fresh start and I feel like I've gotten that thus far. I've been super happy and relatively stress-free. And bonus: I love being able to see my parents whenever I want and being so close to them too. It's still very early in my journey of figuring out my life here but I am confident that I'm headed in the right direction.
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