On to the Next...

This summer was a good one as I have mentioned many times before. One of the things that made it super fun was the dating I did. (Mother, don't even ask. Thanks a bunch. I don't have to tell you everything. ) Meeting different people, especially cute men, is always a good time. Amiright? I mean, who doesn't want to talk to a cute guy that is seemingly enjoying himself talking to you?

I met some of these guys through friends and the others out at bars. And sometimes a combination of both. I think my "have an open mind" mindset and my "you have nothing to lose" mentality mixed together this summer gave me a little more confidence with the opposite sex. I consider myself a pretty outgoing person but not the most self-confident all the time, especially when it comes to guys. However, I really tried to put those negative feelings to the side this summer and it rewarded me with quite a few dates. (And gave me some pretty great stories to share with my friends.) Some of these dates were with guys I could see myself actually dating (few and far between), and some were just plain old good times with no real future.

I would have to say there were quite a few first dates, not a lot of second dates, and a minuscule amount of third dates. Even though I didn't see every guy a second time, none of my dates were bad dates. And not every date I went on was one where I really even cared if the guy called again. But if they didn't ask me out again, whether I was interested in them or not, the first thing that runs through my mind is "What is wrong with me?" and "Why don't they want to see me again?" As I have said many times here before, I am a great catch and I really do believe that. But someone not wanting to be with you can bring out insecurities. But what I've learned this summer is that if I am interested in someone, and they are not interested back, I was not to going dwell on it, overthink/over analyze it, and I was going to move the fuck on.

I guess what my point is, and prob my biggest takeaway of the summer is not to perseverate over someone who is not interested. On to the next. His loss. And you know what, it really is. In the past, I would sit there and try to figure out what I may have done wrong. (Regardless if I even liked the person. Either way, I obvi want them to like me!) Did I say something offensive? Did I talk too much? Did I not talk enough? Am I too fat for him? All of these things would run through my head over and over...and over again. I would harp on the fact that something went wrong and try to pinpoint it. And I would harp on it again and again...and again. This wasn't mentally healthy for me. Sure, I should look back and learn from my mistakes, if I actually made any. But I think the biggest mistake I was making was thinking about somebody that wasn't thinking about me.  If they don't call/text, they aren't interested. Straight up. Someone who likes you will reach out. A simple "How was your day?" or "What's going on" on a consistent daily or every other day basis goes a long way in my book in the beginning. I want...wait, I need to be the one pursued and I am not going to wait around for someone who can't provide me with what I want. And I am not going to go after someone that doesn't want me going after them. I am sick of making excuses for guys on why they don't reach out and then I go ahead and reach out to them myself if I want to. But doing this every time? Not gonna happen. I am moving on now buddy. You are clearly not into me. I am learning from previous dates that didn't end the way I may have wanted. And I am maturing. Eventually this will pay off. At least I hope so. But until then, I will try to put myself out there and be me. I will try to stay positive and hope that one day, someone will appreciate everything about me and love me for me. They will reach out to me over the phone. They will make plans to see me again very soon. Until them, I will keep my options open and continue to see what's out there.