I've been lucky so far this season. With one week left of the regular season, we are 16-1. We are undefeated (13-0) in conference with three more games to go and then playoffs begin. Not all of our wins have been good. Some have been sloppy, but some have been awesome. For the most part, every game the girls step up and get to work while I remain screaming and yelling like a crazy person on the sideline. The usual. But it's all a freaking blast. I've experienced some things this season I didn't think I would have to deal with, and some other stuff that was expected, but there were definitely some challenges along the way. I do feel I handled them well, but they still wore on me. With the regular season winding down, this is what I've dealt with since October!
1) Suspending one of my best players for a week. I can't believe I had to do this but it was a no-brainer after her behavior. I wasn't going to take any misbehavior by anyone lightly, but I was so pissed at her actions, that it had to be done. So why did I do it? From the get go, this girl had been super cocky about her abilities. Her attitude was poor, work ethic not at 100%, and she continually refused to take responsibilities of her actions (like turnovers). After losing her starting spot because of this, she wasn't handling being a bench player very well. In one game before winter break when we were up by quite a lot, I went to put her in the game with a bunch of our less-skilled players. She rolled her eyes at me (even though she denies that) and I lost it. I yelled at her and told her to forget it and then had a meltdown. She started crying and yelling and then left the bench and continued this in the locker room. Our captain went after her and everyone could hear them screaming at each other and then our captain came back and the girl came back to the bench fully clothed and still crying. Hell no. That is absolutely not acceptable. When the game ended she didn't make eye contact with me and left with her parents yelling and crying. No apology for her actions. I was so upset over this. It was immature, embarrassing for me, and just not something that should ever happen. I know she's a teenage girl, but some things are not okay. Finally that evening I got an very short apology via text and told her we had to speak in person. I knew I had to suspend her for a little more than a week. I told admin what I wanted to do and they supported my decision which was a relief. When myself and my assistant coach went to have a conference with her about her suspension, which included a few practices and three games, she was not happy. She was also still not taking any responsibility for her actions which worried me. All in all, she missed numerous practices and three games. I didn't even allow her to come and watch until the day before she was set to return.
Luckily, she came around and really apologized. Since coming back to the team, she seems to have learned her lesson and has really stepped it up since being back. If this was the lesson she needed for that, I am happy that it happened and hopefully she will learn from her mistakes and not let it repeat itself. She really is someone I see being a leader on this team in the future and hopefully she can keep it together.
2) Kicking a girl off the team. One thing about being part of a team is being disciplined enough to show up for practices and games every single time. This can be hard for many of our students who don't realize what a commitment being on a team is. And then when they do come to actually give 100% effort. This happened to be the case for one girl and after penalizing her with extra suicides and even benching her in games for lateness and even failure to attend practice and not letting anyone know, she just didn't seem to get it so she had to be released. After missing yet another practice before a game and knowing she wouldn't play because of it, she just didn't show up for the game. That was it. She was officially done. I went to call home and her parents didn't even bother calling me back. Her and I never got the chance to talk about her dismissal from the team since she nor her mother returned my calls and I haven't seen her since. It's a sucky situation without much closure, but it had to be done. It wasn't fair to the other girls on the team that show up everyday.
3) Parents complaining about their child's playing time. I honestly didn't think this was something I would have to deal with, but low and behold, I did. It only happened once, but it's just so uncomfortable. A parent came up to me after the game to ask me why her daughter wasn't playing a lot. This was baffling to me because her daughter was getting plenty of playing time. She was the first girl off the bench and got solid playing time. She is kind of a moody girl and would get in funks if she was taken out which I certainly don't appreciate, so that contributed to her not getting back in games sometimes. I explained all of this to the mother who seemed to accept and understand that answer and that was that. But I don't want to have any of those conversations again. Eeeek.
4) Losing our first game. This was obviously inevitable, but it didn't make losing any easier. I fucking hate to lose. Like seriously hate it. I don't handle it well and don't think I ever will. I won't ever get used to it and I don't want to. But this loss stung a bit, because 1) it was a team we had previously beaten 2) they were missing their best player and 3) it was the championship game of our own tournament. Ouch. But ultimately, this loss was really good for us as a team. It was necessary. It is unrealistic for a team to go undefeated in the regular season and then win the championship. It just is. As much as I didn't want us to lose, I almost did because we needed a reality check. My girls were cocky going into this game undefeated and they played like absolute garbage. You can't win games missing 28 layups and 21 free throws. Yup. That really happened. After the loss, it took a lot in me not to cry, but I held it together. I think I was more mad than upset with our level of play, that I didn't feel we should have won. I may or may not have teared up a lot when telling my parents over the phone afterwards, though. I'm hoping it will be our only loss of the entire season and we have learned from it, but time will only tell.
5) Organizing and working a holiday weekend tournament. The boys basketball coach and I organized a tournament over MLK Weekend. We had 16 teams total, with 8 boys and 8 girls teams. It was a huge time commitment on a holiday weekend that is usually used to just relax. But all day, for all three days of the weekend I was working this tournament (which was held at two sites in Harlem). It was brutally exhausting, but also such a blast. I literally watched high school basketball all weekend. There were some really good games and it was great meeting and networking with other coaches and refs. Also, interesting fact: I was the only female head coach out of all the teams.
I am proud of myself for handling all of these things fairly well, if not great so far this season. Also, notice on here, that I didn't mention getting any technicals this season. I know, shocking right?!?! But no techs for this girl. I've been warned a few times, but nothing too serious. My loud, outgoing personality on the sideline has yet to get me in big trouble and I hope it doesn't. I've kept my temper on the sidelines in check for the most part which has been a surprise to me, but I guess when you are winning, it's a little easier to remain calm. (And I use the word calm very loosely.)
Although there have been many frustrations this season, there has been a lot of happiness. And a lot of fun! With our victory in the PSAL City Showcase last night, I am hoping we have solidified a number one seed in the city for the playoffs. (Yup, number one in all of NYC!) I mean, how awesome would that be?!?! I won't be satisfied with anything less than a city championship and a trip upstate to Albany to end this season. And I know the girls feel the same way. I am doing everything in my power to get us there and hope this becomes a reality for us. As we wrap up the regular season this week and head into the post-season, I can only hope that my girls continue to work hard and really start to focus more with our eye on the prize: Albany. They are such good girls and have worked their asses off this season all in prep for playoffs. And although they have whined a bit (to be expected) they have done all I have asked them to do. I am so proud of all they've accomplished so far but see continued success for us. Stay tuned.
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