Monday, January 22, 2018

Can We Call it a Comeback?

Picture this: I'm in my race corral with a few minutes until it's my turn to go. I turn on my iPod shuffle and randomly, yet perfectly, Young Jeezy's "Go Getta" comes on. (I mean, could this be any more symbolic?!)  The start gun goes off and I'm about to get this thing started. I'm really about to do this. Finally. My first 13.1 in over 15 months. My first real race since the Chicago Marathon of 2016. It's on!

This was the scene Saturday as I started the F3 Lake Half Marathon after a long hiatus from racing due to injury. So how did it all happen? I know I've talked about it a bit before on, but in case you don't know, here's the short version...

About a month after the Chicago Marathon, a little pain in my lower hamstring came out of nowhere and then soon turned into persistent sharp pain that even hurt when I walked. After a couple months of hoping it would go away and taking some time off from running, I finally went to a doctor, got an MRI and X-rays and did some PT. The MRI and x-rays showed nothing and the PT wasn't working.  In fact, it seemed to put a ton of extra strain on my knee, which then started to hurt more than my hamstring. I went to see another doctor, got another MRI and still no answers except for that it's just bad tendinitis and this was why I was in so much pain. Then I took more time off and even got a cortisone shot. Finally, I got a bike and started riding that when I could and also mixed in some swimming to keep myself sane. But still no running. My leg still hurt a lot, but mentally, this injury was also slowly wearing me down.

Toward the end of the summer, my knee randomly and out of the blue started to feel a bit better and I tried running again. Very short mileage with walk breaks in between not to overdo it. I carefully increased mileage and pace and was overly cautious. Any sign of pain meant I would stop running, ice, take epsom salt baths, stretch, foam roll, and continue on the bike or in the pool. When things started to improve, I'd try to run again, gradually building mileage and pace. Throughout this whole process, I kept constantly waiting for the pain to potentially come back. But it didn't. I made sure to take extra care of myself, even more so than before, so I could keep running. I kept the mileage up, the early morning runs returned, my normal routine was finally back and my life started to feel normal again. I was running and I was so happy doing it. When things felt like they were clicking, I started getting ideas in my head of a spring marathon and some other races in between. I planned out a marathon training schedule for myself and wanted to keep to plan as if it may come to fruition come April. Even with the two and a half weeks of below zero temps here, I made my way to the treadmill and followed my plan. I was feeling like I had a purpose again. I was setting little goals along the way and conquering them. So after stalking the weather for F3 Lake Half Marathon, I finally decided it was time to test what I've built up so far. I signed up for the race and was ready to tackle this.

I picked up my race bib at Fleet Feet and it felt like old times getting those nervous and excited pre-race jitters. The weather was looking to be perfect for a winter race and the only caveat was that the race started at ten in the morning. As someone who wakes up around six every morning, that messes with my pre-race routine of using the bathroom as well as my hydration and nutrition before hand. With so much time between waking up and starting the race, I had to make sure I was doing everything I could to make sure this race would be a success. And this time around, the idea of success for this race was just finishing it. I didn't have a time goal because it has been so long since I ran that distance. I just wanted to finish in one piece without hammy or knee pain. Pretty simple.

Race morning, I took a Lyft to the start line at Soldier Field. The race coordinators rented out the United Club at Soldier Field, which was awesome because it was warm and had clean bathrooms and there were places to sit and relax beforehand. I checked my bag there, used the bathrooms, and before I knew it, it was time to head out to the corrals to wait my turn. As soon as I crossed that starting line, I teared up a bit. I was just so happy to be there and be able to do this again. Running just makes me so happy and to have had something that fulfills me so much taken away from me for so long without any real answers why, really put me in a bad place. So to be back out there, ready to challenge myself again, was truly special. It was exactly where I needed to be.

The race route went south seven miles on the lakefront path, and then came back up six. I actually had never run this route because it has zero shade, but I have biked it many, many times, so I was super familiar with it. The first few miles cruised by, but the first water stop wasn't until almost 2.5 miles in and I was definitely ready for it. Even though I was running at a decent middle-of-the-pack pace, we got lapped by the leaders around mile 4.5. I am always in awe when I see the elite runners or in this case, local-elites, cruise by. They are so talented and so fast. It's really awesome to watch. Around mile six, it hit me that I was really doing this and my body was cooperating. When we hit the turnaround at seven, I knew I'd make it across that finish line, even though my legs started to get a little fatigued. I had been prepping for this run so knew I had it in me and could push through. At about mile eight I started feeling my first gel kick in and had the wind at my back and started moving a little faster again. Around mile nine, I was feeling okay, but my legs were definitely getting tired and stiff, but luckily no real pain. I started talking to myself as I tend to do in longer races telling myself I can do this, to put mind over muscle, and reminding myself I am strong. And I believed it. It may be cheesy, but positive self-talk is so helpful in moments when I'm struggling. It pushes me. It makes me believe in myself. (If only I could use it other aspects of my life, but I digress.) Mentally, I just felt so strong this race. I never got down on myself even when my legs started feeling really heavy. I always knew I was going to conquer this and even though my legs were slowing down, my brain was making up for it in such a positive way. I have come so far in that the mental aspect of my running and it has had such such a great impact in how I handle struggle on hard runs (and other workouts).

When I had the finish line in my sight, I picked up my pace a little and had a huge smile on my face as I crossed it. I got my medal, actually didn't cry (shocking, right?) and just thanked my body for what it had just done for me. It got me across my thirty-second half marathon. A year ago on this day, I could barely finish one mile along the lake because my leg hurt so bad. Four months prior to this month,  even though I was on the up and up, I was in such a funk because I had to defer my Chicago 2017 marathon entry. But I never gave up. I believed eventually I would recover. I had no other choice to believe that. After finishing this race, I started to feel hopeful again. Even though my time wasn't anywhere near where it should be, I finished without pain and for now, I'm good with that. I feel like my comeback could actually be for real and I may be able to focus on a full marathon again without any issue. I don't want to get ahead of myself or jinx it, but I am IN this. I am committed. This is what I want to do. This is the stuff I thrive on. This is what makes me happy.

Saturday's half was a test that I feel I passed with flying colors. I was barely afterwards and I'm still riding a mini high of feeling like I'm back to old self. If things continue the way they are, I am really pumped about what lies ahead. But for now, I'll continue foam rolling, stretching, icing, and epsom salt bathing in preparation for the next couple of months. I don't know about you, but I'm excited about it!

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