I am a Cry Baby

I am a sucker for sports movies. I love them even though they make me cry pretty much every time, no matter how many times I watch the movie. Whether its a happy ending or a sad ending, I will end up in tears. (Don't even get me started about the "One Shining Moment" montage at the end of the NCAA National Championship game!) I could turn on certain sports movies with ten minutes left and just start crying over that. And I like this about myself. I don't find it embarrassing at all. It's a part of who I am. There is something about thrill of sports and the blood, sweat, and tears that go into it that gets me every time regardless if the story is fiction or not.

I am and have always been a huge sports fan. I played sports all my life and still continue to play (and dominate, obvi) in adult leagues. Sports bring people together. They build character. Instill discipline. Create camaraderie. There is so much more to athletics than winning and losing which is why they are so great. There are emotions that I have experienced on the playing field that are impossible to describe.  Ones that I will never forget and watching sports movies brings a lot of these emotions back. When I watch, I put myself in the athlete's shoes and experience what they experience because a lot of the time I know what they are feeling because I have felt it before. Below are some of the best clips from some of my favorite sports movies. I couldn't necessarily find my favorite clips from each movie, but did my best to find a scene that either gave me severe goosebumps and/or tears. Watching these clips alone made me tear up. God, I am such a loser.

1. Rebound: The Legend of Earl 'The Goat' Manigault This is my all-time favorite sports movie. It was made as an HBO special movie and I highly recommend it. Its a heart-wrenching true story and the acting is spectacular. You WILL thank me later.

2. Coach Carter The end of this movie had me sobbing. Basketball is one of my greatest loves and the ending of this movie was very similar to how my senior year of high school basketball season ended. Heartbreaking.

3. Rudy Even though I despise Notre Dame, I absolutely love this movie. It would be even better if it were about a kid from University of Illinois. No joke.

4. Friday Night Lights This is the halftime speech from the State Championship game. Seriously, how can this not make you cry?! And if it didn't, the end will break your heart (I had to include it as well.)

5. A League of Their Own As a female athlete, watching this when I was younger was so inspiring and so fun. These women really were incredible.

Honorable Mentions: Hoosiers, Warrior, Hoop Dreams, Mighty Ducks (1, 2, AND 3), Remember the Titans, Miracle, The Rookie.

Once again, finding these clips was a lot of fun. I could watch them all over and over again, but would need way more Kleenex handy. Next time I need a good cry, I might just have to go to the archives of this blog to find this entry. Hey, it beats watching Marley and Me and The Notebook (my go-to crying movies).

You aren't THAT important

I love my cell phone. It's the only phone I have (no land line for this gal) and it's like an extra appendage on my body. I feel naked without it. And I know I am not the only one that has this feeling about their phone. I am on constantly using my phone but rarely making actual phone calls on it unless it's my parents, grandparents, a doctor, or something too long or important to text. Additionally I pride myself in being an excellent multi-tasker with my phone and the people around me. I can walk and talk/text without slowing down my pace and even though it's kind of (ok,very) rude, I can talk to one friend in person and text another if need be. I understand we are all busy people with busy lives, but there are a few bad cell phone habits that absolutely drive me INSANE.

 1) Talking on your phone at the gym. When I am working out, it's my escape. A time to release the stress or extra energy I have and just listen to music and do my thang. When I go to the gym, my phone stays in my locker. And even though I work out with head phones on, there is nothing more annoying to me at the gym than seeing someone near me on the treadmill/elliptical/bike yapping away on their cell phones. They are usually talking really loud and even with my headphones on, I can usually hear them. It takes me out of focus of MY workout and I just want to push them off their machines. I visualize myself doing that and it makes me feel better for a second, but usually I just shoot them dirty looks or just move machines. Passive aggressiveness, party of one. 

2) Talking on your phone on public transportation. I am grateful that cellphones don't work on the subway unless they are obviously above ground so this usually is a non-issue on the train. But on the bus, this can sometimes be quite obnoxious. The buses can be more crowded than the train and no one wants to hear your conversation about that chick you banged last night or how your nanny can't work Tuesday so you can get a mani/pedi/massage. Boo-freaking-hoo. I don't care. Neither do the other 40 people packed on here. Wait until you get off the bus with that shit. Thanks so much!

3) Having a filled voicemail inbox. I am sorry, but no one is so important that they have that many voicemails. No one. Check them while walking down the street, while waiting for the bus, heck, even check them on the toilet. I am hoping you aren't talking while pooping (even though I do it all the time!), but that is a wonderful time to listen and delete those VM's. Ooohhh, get rid of those VM's while you BM. Hahahaha. I am just too funny. But seriously, clear that inbox. It's super aggravating and I don't want to call you again later.

Honorable mentions: People who can't multi-task while on the phone (They slow their pace while walking and texting/talking/searching the web. If you can't keep up, wait to do what you need to or pull over) and people who initiate a text, you reply with a question, and then they disappear. Weren't you the one who just texted me? It wasn't the other way around so where did you go?

If we are friends, I would hope that you do not exhibit any of these bad habits. They are annoying. In a world where cell phones have become a part of us, and something that we rely on, we must remember that they don't belong everywhere and its good to take a break once and a while.  But don't take too long of a break that your VM fills up!

Man Up Dude

So here the story goes. A girl has been texting with a guy. They go out once or twice and have a great time. She really likes him and thinks that he also really likes her. They text a bit some more and she asks if he wants to hang out again. He says yes. But then she hears NOTHING. Nada. Is this normal behavior from the guy? Unfortunately it is. And happens more often than one would think.

Why would a guy say yes to going out with this girl again if he has no intention to? If he's not interested in her why wouldn't he say he is busy with work? Or has other plans? Or, here's an idea: Just tell the girl that you aren't interested in seeing her again. She is a an adult. She can handle it. Really, she can. So dude, man up and just tell the girl you don't think you are compatible and it won't work. Trust me.

You know that book that was then made into a movie called He's Just Not That Into You? Well, that happens. A lot. Sometimes a guy just isn't into you. And sometimes (more often than not), you aren't interested in him. And you know what? That's okay. Its actually pretty common and pretty normal. You know what's not normal? A guy not being honest about it and leading a girl on because he's either too immature or too big of a pussy to tell her otherwise. If you don't want to see her again, just tell her. Or hey, even just ignore her in the first place. (Like before you agree to see her again.) She will get it. (Or she will ask you again and you will ignore her again.) But don't agree to go out again and not mean it. It's just not nice. And she is going to get the wrong idea.

As adults in the dating scene that is New York City, many people just don't have time for mind games. We are too old and too busy for that. If you like someone and want to see them again, tell them. They will most likely feel the same and be relieved you put it on the table.  If you aren't interested in them, just tell them that also. It's pretty simple.  It's actually clear as day. Honesty is always the best policy. It leaves no questions unanswered. Its leaves no "what ifs". By being honest, she knows that there aren't going to be any more dates between the two of you. And once again, its fine. Why would she want to go out with someone that isn't into her? She doesn't. So dudes, my final advice to you, if you have no intentions of seeing a girl again, just man up and be honest with her. She will appreciate it. And she will leave you be.

What's the Poop?

Poop. Crap. Doody. Shit. It's brown, it's smelly, and it's gross. But guess what?  Everyone does it. Everyone. So why are so many people so weirded out talking about poop? I for one am not. And my family most certainly is not. We grew up in a very open household where very little was off-limits for conversation. It didn't hurt that my brother and I weren't blessed with the best genes. He has Crohn's disease and I have Ulcerative Colitis. Thanks a lot mom and dad for our "shitty" genes. Ah, a pun! Hilarious. I crack myself up.

 Because of our autoimmune diseases we have become very comfortable with talking about our bowels with whoever will listen. Whether we have diarrhea, are constipated, have blood in our poop, have terrible gas, or just plain need to go, we feel the need to share with each other or those around us.  We are the probably the reason the phrase "TMI" was invented. After a great poop, I have no shame walking into a room, patting my stomach, and stating to my friends that I am now five pounds thinner.  I also have no issue voicing to those around me that I have to poop when I need to go. (I do know my audience, so I do know when and who this is appropriate around. I do have some boundaries.) I am thankful that I have friends that are okay with the poop talk and are comfortable enough to join in the convo and share along with me. I am even luckier that I have some colleagues (who also happen to be my good friends) who are just as open. We can talk about poop at meetings, at lunch, and even sometimes play "Battleshits" after school. Okay, I was kidding about the last one, but we are very open with each other. Sometimes, pooping in the bathroom stall at work is the only time of day we get to catch up and gossip.  See, pooping brings people together! 

I hope reading this didn't gross you out or make you never want to have a conversation with me again with a fear that the talk will turn to poop. I can't promise it won't. It might turn to sex, guys, food, whatever. With me, its a mixed bag, but I can guarantee it won't be boring.

That's a dealbreaker, ladies

The famous words of Liz Lemon "That's a dealbreaker, ladies" resonate in my head constantly. When I see a guy walking down the street wearing mandals, I think to myself "That's a dealbreaker, ladies." When the guy at the beach looks like he is wearing a sweater and then I realize its just his hairy back, I think to myself "That's a dealbreaker, ladies." When I am in line at the grocery store and the guy in front of me has dirty fingernails, I think to myself "That's a dealbreaker ladies." Anyways, you get it. I am constantly watching, judging, and making mental notes to myself on what traits in guys are dealbreakers, meaning that if you posess these qualities, chances are I won't talk to you, let alone date you.

Many of us single ladies have our list of dealbreakers and it may even sound like a montage from Seinfeld when you list all of them (close talker, face-painter, man hands, anti-dentite, sidler, re-gifter, etc...). However, for each of us, we have to wonder: Are our deal breakers actual DEALBREAKERS? Will they really deter you from having a relationship with someone? If you like someone enough, are you able to ignore the dealbreakers? What if it's super easy to change? Get him new sandals. Get his back waxed. Cut and clean his fingernails. Sounds easy, right?  Well, I guess its really a case-by-case basis here. You really have to sit down and make your list first in order to figure this out. So ask yourself: Do I have my own list of "Dealbreakers"? Do I have my list of "Must-haves?" Do these lists essentially mean the same thing? I guess we can only write them out and see. 

So what are your absolute dealbreakers? I will give you three of mine.  If I didn't limit it to three, this post could go on for a while...(but seriously, I am trying to be more open-minded)
1) Smoking. My future husband will not smoke. Its expensive, its disgusting, and its unhealthy. Not debateable at all.
2) Being unathletic. As someone who grew up playing sports and still does, I need someone that can play catch with me (and not throw like a girl...GROSS!), shoot hoops, hit the tennis ball, etc... and be good at it. I need some competition you know?!
3) Being unemployed. I need stability. Someone who has a steady income and can support himself (and me) financially. And needless to say, your job must be legal.

 If these are 3 of my dealbreakers, then what are my must-haves? Well obviously, you can't smoke, must be athletic, and you must be gainfully employed. Once again, if I had to list all my must-haves the list would be lengthy. So once again, I will give you my top three.
1) Fantastic sense of humor. You must be funny. And since I am hilarious you must think I am funny even if I do cross the line with content and language. You also must be able to dish it and take it.
2) Enjoy your job. Now that we know you have a job, I would assume you actually like what you do for a living. If you wake up everyday dreading to go to work, you are not going to be someone who is pleasant to be around and I won't want to be around you.
3) You want to raise our kids Jewish. This may shock some of you that know me because I am not religious, but I do want to raise my kids Jewish, reformed of course. (Mom, I know you are smiling knowing this if you didn't already know.) They will be dragged out of the bed for Sunday school and forced to go to Hebrew school just the way that I was as a kid and they will appreciate it later in life (kind of like I did). I want them to have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. It's just the way its got to be. I want them to have some kind of connection to their Jewish culture and heritage. 

Let me tell you this...As I was writing this, I legit had a harder time coming up with my must-haves than my dealbreakers. What does that say about me? Do I know more of what I don't want than what I want? That can't be good, can it? I guess the only way to know what I want is go out there and meet (and sleep with...kidding...maybe) more and more guys and hope to find the right one. As long as he doesn't own mandals.