Kyrptonite

"He's your kryptonite you know, right?" Yes, yes I know this already. And I hate myself for it. Why oh why does he do this to me? And does he really even know he is doing this to me? And why oh why do I let him get to me like this?

According to UrbanDictionary.com, Kryptonite can be defined as "Related to the Superman movies: Superman's weakness. The only thing that can hurt the man of steel. A man/woman that calls someone their Kryptonite means that they are their weakness. Someone or something they have to stay away from because they want it even though it's not good for them or will hurt them. Someone you want but can't have can be called your Kryptonite.
Ex)  "You like Jane?"
          "Yeah dude but I gotta stay away from her because she's got a boyfriend. She's my Kryptonite."

But this feeling is kind of normal, right? Um, kind of. Maybe. But it can be common. I know I am not the only one who has these feelings.  I mean, how long does it take until you get over someone when you really weren't even "under" them to begin with (Friends reference, btw)? But seriously, how can someone you really barely know affect you so much? This is simply infuriating to me. And it needs to stop. Now.

I see you from down the street and my knees get weak and my heart races. And yet, you prob don't even see me. And if you do, you are unaffected. You may like a fB status of mine and I get a little giddy. Why does this even happen? Ugh, I hate myself for this. Do you even know the affect you have on me? Do you even know that I have a gigantic crush on you? I really don't even think you do. In reality and when I am around you, believe it or not, I do play it cool. But inside thoughts and feelings are just whirling around.

Yes, my feelings for you come and go, but when they are there, it sucks. I don't want to like you anymore. You are bad for my psyche. Why is it the second I delete your number from my phone, you text me and start the whole bad cycle again? You my friend, are my Kryptonite. You are bad for me. You make me a little nutty. I don't like it. My friends don't like it. But for some reason, I can't get you out of my head. I try to remind myself how bad you are for me. And how bad you make me feel about myself, but for some reason, I am drawn to you. For some reason, you have me craving for more. Have me wondering "what if?" What the F is it about? Please, fill me in.

My only saving grace about this while situation is that I am super very aware of how you make me feel. I realize what you are doing to me but I just can't help it. I try to "get over" you and it works for a bit, but then you re-appear and I have to start all over in my head. I guess I'll live and learn. You though should also be very aware that you are missing out on a great girl but clearly don't know it, which is totally fine. Your loss buddy. Your loss.