My first time...

You will always remember your first time. Right? Your first whatever, it doesn't matter, but there are certain firsts that always stick with you. As you are growing up, you go through so many firsts. And even at the ripe old age of 31, I am still experiencing firsts. Some firsts are so bad you never want to go through them again. And some are so great you want them to happen over and over again. But no matter how many times you experience these things, you will always remember your firsts. First date. First time getting drunk. First job. First car. First tattoo. First real break-up. First time living alone. Well, you get it...lots of firsts. Some good and some bad.

But there are clearly a number of firsts that rank higher on the list than others and have shaped me more or less for who I am. Here are some important firsts that I think left a pretty important mark on my life. 

1) First time having sex. Ha! Please. Like I'd give that up on here. This is a family blog. Sike. It's not at all, but my parents do read this blog. And remember mom and dad, I'm saving myself for marriage. Cough, cough... So nothing to tell here. Moving along...

2) First kiss. I was also kind of a late bloomer with getting my first "French kiss" but have more than made up for lost time. Haha! Oh me. It happened when I was in eighth grade when my family was on vacation in Mexico over the winter break. As per usual, my brother and I made friends with other kids on vacays with their fams. We are such social butterflies, natch. We met these brothers from Indiana that we hung with. We played basketball, beach volleyball, and participated in other beach and night time activities with them pretty much everyday. I had a pretty big crush on the brother my age and it seemed pretty mutual. On our last night there, myself and my crush-brother walked the beach hand in hand (sigh), and then he walked me to back to my room. We were both leaving the next day so wanted a proper goodbye. In front of my door, he went in for the kiss. I was surprised. Little naive me wasn't expecting it. I mean, his tongue was in my mouth!!! Omg. It wasn't great. But there it was, my first kiss. It was kind of romantic for a first kiss. After crushing on each other all week, it was a nice end to the vacation. Of course, as teenagers in the 90's, we kept in touch on AOL for a little bit when we got back home, but it ended as quickly as it began. To be honest, I couldn't even tell you his name today if I tried. But I do remember that night and that kiss. 

3) My first marathon. I have talked about this before but I don't care. My first marathon really shaped who I have become. It was the 2004 Chicago Marathon and I signed up on a whim because I was feel exceptionally fat and wanted something to motivate me and ensure me that I would have to continually work out. I signed up alone for this race and then convinced my mom to sign up for it as well. At the time of sign up, we both knew we wouldn't be able to train together because I was moving to NYC and she was in Chicago, but we knew we'd try and run the race together. It would be her first marathon as well. She had run numerous half marathons in her past, but the most I had run was a 5k. However, I knew I could do this. I was an athlete after all and when I really set my mind to something, I did it. I trained pretty much by myself all summer in NYC while she convinced a friend to run with her and trained all summer in Chicago with her buddy. I was determined, focused, and ready to do this. And being competitive ole me, I even set a goal time for myself. When marathon day came, I knew I was ready even though the most I had run in training was 20 miles. (That was the suggestion from all the pros.) My mom, her friend, and myself lined up at the starting line together, all tearing up at the national anthem, and then we were off. We ended up running maybe five minutes of the entire race together so this experience was completely my own. I beat my goal time and cried my way across that finish line. And for the next few hours. (Okay, who am I kidding, the next few days.) I had never worked that hard for something in my life and it was absolutely worth it. And I couldn't wait to do it again. The training for and the running of the marathon itself has shaped me to be the competitive and dedicated runner I have become. Since then, I have run five more marathons and am signed up for my seventh one this coming November. Who knew that me feeling super fat (for the millionth time) would actually legit make me "a runner."

4) First pet. My Reggie baby. I am not an animal person in any way, shape, or form. Besides being allergic to a lot of animals (and using that as an excuse a lot of the time to not be around them), I also find them to be kind of gross and scary. I use to have an actual fear of dogs that I have since semi-outgrown. Dogs sniff, lick, and roll around in a lot of things, and frankly, it just always seemed so unsanitary to me to have one in my home. We first got Reggie when I was a sophomore in high school and he was a present for my brother who had been hounding my parents for a dog for a long time. I was certainly very against getting a dog because I didn't want some nasty animal roaming my house. I hid in my room for the first two weeks or so that we had Reggie AND pretended to be allergic to him. After my parents made it clear Reggie was here to stay, I finally started to accept him. And finally grew to really love him. He also, strangely enough, made me more accepting of other people's dogs. I won't really pet them or let them lick me, but I am not terrified anymore of them. Having Reggie has also made me more sensitive to those with pets now that I understand how a pet truly becomes part of a family. (However, I do not allow myself to watch Marley and Me unless I am prepared to sob uncontrollably like a baby. I don't know if this would have happened pre-Reggie.)

5) First death. My Zayde's death. I remember this all too well and it still haunts me. In 7th grade, I came home from volleyball practice and my parents we waiting for me sitting in the living room. We never really go in there except when company is over. They sat me down on the living room couch and then my dad just started crying. It's the first and only time I have ever seen him cry and I will never forget it. It's making me tear up as I write this. I still can't look at pics of my Zayde without tearing up. (A little unhealthy considering this happened almost 18 years ago.) After he died, I cried for weeks. I'd burst out in the middle of class in school and have to go to the nurse to calm down and get myself together. It was very difficult for me to get over and clearly I am still not truly there. I am very fortunate that besides my Zayde, no one else close to me, besides our dog, Reggie has died.

These firsts have made me the person I am today in some sense. Hopefully one day, I will experience my first true love. My first (and ONLY) wedding, my first child, etc... All good things. And I am sure along the way many other firsts will come and go. Some leaving a bigger impact on my life than others. Good or bad, these shape us to become who we are and I am welcome to continue to experience many "firsts" in my life.