Let's Use These

I don't consider myself to have a huge vocabulary, but there are some words that I use on occasion that people just don't know. And then I am the one that feels stupid. They are not super-intellectual words, but words that just underutilized in today's society that have great meaning and often times bring humor as well. They are words that a majority of the population should know and should use more freely. I hate when I say something and no one knows what I am talking about. However, I do love teaching people new words. Makes me feel smarter. Well, not really, especially when you see the words that I am speaking of. Anyway, let me enlighten you with a few of my faves.

1) FUPA. What does this stand for you ask? Well, that would be: Fat Upper Pussy Area. However, this term can be used for both men and women. It's not gender specific. A FUPA is basically like a fat vagina. It can be hard to hide in pants as well so often times people who possess one should really avoid them (especially with a tucked in shirt) if they are not loose enough. I think that FUPA's are just a result of bad genes. Brutal. 



2) Mooseknuckle. Also known as the male camel toe.  When the male's pants seem to be hugging his ballsack area. It's not attractive. At all.
When this happens, you can basically see the outline of this man's entire junk. And no one wants to see that. Ever. Wear pants that fit gentlemen and sit appropriately. Thanks.

3) Cropdusting. To walk and and continuously fart at the same time. Farts can be loud or silent. Usually works best with silent farts though because you can get away with it more. This is a very relieving process (as long as you don't gamble and lose). You can do this walking down the street, in the mall, around your classroom, etc... Basically anywhere you need to let a few rip and really don't care who is behind you. Just hope you aren't downwind when someone does it around you. 

4) Butterface. Someone that has a great body and a ugly face. Everything is great "but her face." Similar to a "Monet" (looks good from afar but is far from good). It's really a shame when this happens. You have a smoking body and that's great, but the face is just hard to look at. What's shocking to me is that most men would rather have a butterface than a slightly chubby girl with a cute face. I just don't get it.

5) Breaking the seal. This is when you pee for the first time after drinking excessive amounts of anything. But usually alcohol. Once you break that seal, you basically are setting yourself up for peeing every 10-20 or so minutes now for the rest of the evening. When you break the seal, it feels amazing but you better know what you are in for after you do this. Just keep an eye on the bathroom line and your surroundings. Or just don't drink so much in the first place. (Easier said than done.)

Whether or not you have heard these words before, or even use them, you are now at least a little more familiar with them. Maybe even a bit enlightened even. Now go out and use them a little more often. Impress your friends. You're welcome.