A Trifecta of Housewives

These last few weeks have been heaven for a Bravo reality TV fiend like myself. Bravo has outdone itself showing not one, not two, but THREE Real Housewives shows on in one week. New Jersey, New York, and Miami. Jackpot. It's quite the trifecta. If loving this is wrong, I don't want to be right. That's for damn sure. If only Andy Cohen could throw a sneak peak of Atlanta and Beverly Hills in there too, things really would be amazing. He really created a monster. And I say that in the most complimentary way possible.

So far all three seasons are full of the usual narcissism, drama, and wine-fueled fights that all Housewives fans have come to love. This season though, there seems to have been more of this than usual. Theresa vs. everyone on NJ, Aviva vs. Ramona and Sonja on NY, and so far Karent vs. Adriana and Alexia on Miami. Major dramz. And these are grown women. It's so bizarre to me that they actually don't mind being filmed behaving the way that they do. Clearly they are all part of the even-bad-publicity-is-good-publicity party or else they would be more mindful of how they act. Or would they?

With all that being said, I have decided that I am going to give out my Real Housewives awards. They are just random awards about observations I have made. Most of which I am sure I am not alone in making. So here it goes... My Real Housewives Awards for the trifecta of October go to...

Winner of Delusion: Teresa Giudice. (NYC) Woman, you are insane. If everyone seems to have an issue with you, guess what? You are the problem. Not them. Your delusion of grandeur and all your lies have alienated you from the group and very few people feel sorry for you. All of Theresa's behaviors are disgusting. I am repulsed watching her. Repulsed. Her immaturity and constant lying is ridiculous. She is not fooling anyone. Whether the issue is her marriage, her finances, or her friendships, I don't believe a word out of her mouth. And if she does happen to tell the truth, it is not genuine at all. I think Joe had it right Teresa, you are a "See you next Tuesday."

Winner of Entitlement: Aviva Drescher. (NYC) Miss "everyone should kiss Reid's feet for getting me here." Um...no Aviva. They can thank him once and then be done. Time to move on. You are not that important that your presence was totally necessary on vacation. Reid helped you get there and we all understand that, but that's the end of it. I actually like Aviva (and did love her white-trash insult), but sometimes she gets this holier-than-thou attitude that I do not like. We get it, you have anxiety issues and phobias, but if its that big of a deal, do what you need to do and stop bringing attention to it. 


Winner of Phoniness: Karent Sierra. (MIA) Or should I say Doctor Karent Sierra: Dentist to the stars? Well someone needs to wipe that shit eating grin off her face. Karent always seems like she is trying to impress someone with something and even the other women are starting to notice it. She seems to always have a fake smile plastered on her face and is always laughing at nothing funny inparticular. It actually makes me quite uncomfortable how uncomfortable she seems around the other women. She tries to put on this facade to fit in but most people can see right through the phoniness. Sad.

Sidenote: I also love how Marysol calls her "the carrier pigeon" because goes from person to person spreading gossip/relaying information in order to try to fit in. She is a grown women and creating drama like that is totally pathetic.

Some other awards...
Winner of Functioning Alcoholism: Ramona Singer. (NYC) I don't know how she does it, but she does. Good ole crazy-eyes can somehow manage to keep the pinot and the profession going.

Winner of looking older than you really are even though you have had so much plastic surgery to try to make yourself look younger: Lisa Hochstein. (MIA)  She is scary looking and pumped with so many fillers, I can't imagine what she will look like in five years. Or geez, even ten. Yikes.

Winner of being on the show for an entire season and still seeming normal: Carol Radziwill. (NYC) She is great. That is all.

Winner of having a great family dynamic: Tie between Kathy Wakili and her fam and Caroline Manzo and her fam. (both NJ) They have great relationships with their husbands and their kids and really seem to all enjoy being around their families.

Winner of using your "celebrity" to sell a ridiculous product: Sonya Morgan. (NYC) A toaster? Yes, a toaster. Um, okay. Because everyone wants a sexy toaster. Pathetic.

Winner of Best Accent: Adriana de Moura. (MIA) I love listening to her talk. As someone who doesn't really like accents, I think hers gives her charm.

Winner of the smallest hands: Marysol Patton. Okay this one I really have to follow up on because we all know my feeling about small hands. Have you ever noticed Marysol's hands?  She has the smallest hands ever. When she comes on the screen, they are the only thing I can focus on.  Look next time! I think they are genetic too as mama Elsa has the same miniature hands except when she is on screen I am staring too much on her face to focus on her hands.

I am sure there are many more nice and not-so-nice awards I could have handed out but will stop here. For now. With Atlanta and Beverly Hills premiering soon, I will have more characters to work with. New York and New Jersey are ending this week I think with Bravo trying to milk as many random montage episodes as possible so I will have to survive on only one Real Housewives a week. Gasp. I will survive and move on though. I shall conclude this post with the words of one of my fave New York ladies,  Heather Thompson, "Holla."