Put Her in the Pic?

On occasion myself or a friend will meet a cute guy that we are attracted to. We don't know much about him. Maybe a mutual friend or two, and of course his first (and hopefully last) name. And what do you think one of the first things we do is when we get back home after being a little smitten? Why duh, its look them up on Facebook of course! We want to see their picture(s) or any other info we can get. Specifically, we want to see if there is another woman in that picture (literally and figuratively). Does he have a girlfriend? We can all safely assume he isn't married if he isn't wearing a ring. One would hope so at least. And lets be serious, at my age, one of the first things I do when I meet a guy is look directly down at his left ring finger. Is there a ring? Please no, don't have a ring on. And if he does, bummer. And if not, there is always a glimmer of hope.

After a certain age, us ladies gotta know if he's available. It's hard enough as is out there being single in the city and the guessing game kinda sucks. I am not saying the minute people meet each other, they should state they have a bf or a gf. That's plain annoying and sometimes insulting. I mean, I don't need to be talking a dude, and one of the first things he says is "I have a girlfriend." I mean, whoa dude, we are just chatting. Relax. Don't flatter yourself. And let me preface this by saying, I am not one to make up a flirty vibe between myself and someone else. I feel I have a pretty good sense about that stuff and the last thing I want is to be interested in someone that clearly doesn't want me. I am not delusional. And that's not fun or good for the ego. So I am pretty confident in the way I read people. I don't want to set myself up for being disappointed. But yes, if the conversation is seemingly going somewhere beyond the usual small talk, try and casually bring her up. Give me a clue please. It's only fair. And if you don't, shame on you. But at least do me this favor: when I do go home later and look you up on Facebook, maybe you should just have a profile pic with your significant other or at least have "in a relationship" as part of their public profile. Is that too much to ask for? I am all about having a private profile to those that don't know you, but c'mon now, for those of us who like to snoop (and are good at it), give us a hint or two. Facebook is no longer just an outlet to reconnect with old friends, its used for some good old stalking. And I say that in the most benign way possible.

I do however, have mixed feelings about a person having them and their significant other in their profile picture because after all, it is YOUR profile. You don't need to put them there. You are an individual and your profile pic is yours so obvi it should be just you, but for selfish snooping reasons, put her in there too. (And please don't put a pic of you and your sister. Confusing. Even though when my friends ask if I looked you up, and I say in a sullen tone that it's you and another girl, I know they are just trying to be nice by saying "oh, maybe that's his sister." We all know that is never the case. Never.)

As a single 30 year old woman, its hard out there to meet a man. And when you finally do find someone you are attracted to, you don't want to step on another woman's toes, but you gotta play your game too. It's a hard situation to be in so its best to have as much information as possible. So gentleman, I am asking that even though when I think we click in real life and then I click your profile, the last thing that I want to see if you with your arm around another girl, but it does clarify a lot of things. So please, do me and you a favor. Let us know you are spoken for.  I won't embarrass myself by thinking you are single and potentially pursuing you and I won't have to put you in that weird position where you have to let me down gently because you have a gf. Thanks so much.