Why are You Single?

I recently read an article on Jezebel about a 32 year old single woman who is constantly asked why she is still single. Usually by her married friends. I obviously forwarded this email to my mother and another 30-something single girlfriend of mine. My friend, like myself and the author of this article, constantly get asked "So, why are you still single?" It's such an annoying question and one that I get asked that quite often. I guess I can take it as a compliment (can I?) that people are shocked that I, being as awesome as I know I am, still haven't snagged me a man for good. So why am I still single?

There are a number of reasons that I am single. First and foremost, I am NOT going to settle. Period. I know what I want in a man, and I am not just going to date someone, or even take the next step and marry them for the sake of pleasing everyone else. Yes, it would get a lot of friends and family members to leave me alone, but would I be happy? Probably not. But they would be. Right, mom? Finally, your friends would leave you alone about your poor lonely, single daughter out in NYC. And really, that's the only reason for me to land a man. Just to please you and your friends. 

Anyway, for reals, I believe I am single for a few reasons. They may or may not be the reason that most women my age are single, but for me, I feel these are a few of the reasons (on my end anyway) that I am 30 and still not hitched:

** I'm Picky. I know what I want, and I won't settle for less just because I am getting older. Contrary to what some people close to me (cough, cough...mother!) believe, I do actually try and give guys I wouldn't consider normally a chance, but they just don't seem to hold my attention very long.
** I still refuse to use online dating sites. Don't even bother trying to give me the spiel on them either.

** I don't actually meet that many guys that I am actually attracted to. And out of the guys that I actually do find attractive, most of them won't even take a second glance at me. That's life though. It's hard to meet single men in NYC and the ones that I do meet are either huge losers or gigantic douchebags. Why isn't there a nice, happy medium? (It also doesn't help that my friends bf's or husbands don't have anyone to set me up with which would really be my preferred method of meeting someone.)

** Did I mention I'm picky?

** I am not still totally comfortable with myself.  If I am not comfortable with my body, how can I possibly expect someone else to be? You know the old adage, "You must love yourself before you can let someone love you?" Well that definitely applies to me and it is something that does hold me back and I so wish it didn't. But in reality, this affects me everyday.

Do I want a boyfriend? Of course I do. But I want someone that excites me. Someone that I am willing to make time for.  Someone that I know is right for me. Obviously I haven't met that someone yet, and I am okay with that. I just wish those around me would also be okay with that. It's my life after all and I still have some time. I don't want to end up old and alone while all my friends are married and with kids. But I also don't want to get in a relationship just for the sake of being in one. For right now, I am 30 and single. I am okay with it, so please be too.