I'm never drinking again...Psych!

I usually wake up after a night of heavy drinking dehydrated, in a panic, and race out of my bed making sure that I have my cell phone and my wallet. You know you've been there? I assume I have my keys because I am in my own apartment so I had to get in somehow. After I recover these (phew!), I realize my head is pounding, and I need to quickly get back in bed and go right back to sleep before my head explodes. Sounds awful, right? Well even though this feeling totally sucks, its usually the result of a great night. Yup, feeling like shit the next day usually means I had a pretty fucking fabulous night out. Sometimes this happens on a weekday and I have to drag my ass to work and sometimes this happens on the weekends where I can lay in bed all day long. Hangovers suck, but sometimes they are just worth it.

Those mornings where you are like "I am never drinking again" seem to happen to me quite often. With my "go hard or go home" personality, sometimes I tend to drink a bit too much. Eh, what can you do? I'm still (semi) young and fun and want to party. And sometimes, because of my habit of overindulging, things can happen.

The following things, although they usually suck, also usually indicate I had a pretty great night. I am sure I am not the only one who experiences these the morning after a booze-filled evening, so I'll just go ahead and get right to it. You all know you feel my pain, (some more often than others) with these after affects of a great night on the town...

1) Throwing Up. I have to admit I throw up more times than I don't. It's usually within an hour of getting home and falling asleep. I then usually wake up an hour later with a huge wave of nausea. When that feeling overcomes me, I have to just get all that nastiness out of the system and I go ahead and pull the trigger. It's not a good habit (some of my friends call it my alcohol bulimia), but it makes me feel better and usually decreases the next morning hangover. And if I happen to throw up without having to pull the trigger, I know I totally overdid it. I am not proud that at my age I am still drinking until I puke, but it's not on purpose. After all these years, I still can't seem to cut myself off. I am getting better though. Also, the fact that I continue to drink on an empty stomach (gotta save calories somehow) probably contributes to this as well. There leaves nothing to soak up all that booze and it just rises and rises until it must leave.  

2) Random bruises. Did I bump into things? Most likely. Did I fall? Um, perhaps. Highly unlikely nowadays, but I can't say it doesn't happen from time to time. There are too many times where I wake up in the morning with random big bruises from the previous night. WTF? This happens when I am sober too, but they are just more painful and surprising after a night of drinking. 

3) Sore quads. This usually indicateds one thing: Dance party. And I love a good dance party. Going out and letting loose on the dance floor is always a blast. Always. And I can't deny that I love the fact that all that dancing burns some of those many liquid calories I am taking in. And hey, a good dance floor make-out is The. Best.

4) Total Blackout. I am going to blame my medications on this one. Sure, sure. But what else could account for it happening so often? It totally sucks and I HATE when this happens. To not know what went on the night before or to have chunks of it missing certainly sucks. What did I say? Who did I insult? Who did I kiss? Who did I drunk text/call? (Checking your phone the next morning to survey the damage is THE WORST!!) Why do I have these bruises? How did I get home? Wait, who is this dude next to me? Seriously WTF happened last night? When people fill me in and bits and pieces come back, that's always helpful, but sometimes I legit have no clue. Not smart and not safe, but it does happen.

Yeah yeah, so I am not too proud that these things happen, but its reality. Should I eat more before I drink? Yes. Should I not drink so much? Also probably yes. Am I really going to do these things? Um, probably not. Sorry, it's just not going to happen right now. I am sure eventually I will grow up a bit more and then be a tad more responsible, but until then, I am going to do my thang a deal with the consequences for now.