Flying the Friendly Skies

I fly maybe 6-8 times a year. Usually it's to Chicago or Florida and if I am lucky, somewhere tropical in between. I am not a bad flier by any means, but its not the act of flying is something I am excited to do. There is no flight nervousness or anxiety about the actual flying; I get anxiety about the whole process of getting to the airport, getting through security, and getting to my gate on time. Once I get there, I am cool as a cucumber. I get my seat at the gate, hope I keep seeing "On Time" on the board, and then usually just hang and people watch.

Because I do travel decently enough, I have started to make some observations (shocking coming from me, right?) about my habits when traveling, as well as those around me. Some things I have noticed over the years...

Decisions, Decisions

1) I am instantly hungry the minute I get to the airport. Traveling makes me hungry and I am firm believer that calories burn a lot faster on an airplane. Amiright? Totally kidding, but don't rain on my parade. There is something about traveling that makes me ravenous. Usually I am flying no more than 3 hours but with travel to and from the airport, this can add at least another half hour each way. That's a lot of time. And I think about food. Of course I pack snacks (or even sandwich AND snacks) but airport food is sometimes a treat as well. I love browsing the trail mix, chips, and candy. Rarely do I make that purchase unless I am delayed and/or having a big craving, but I still enjoy looking (and this includes all the trashy/awesome magazines). I walk by the Au Bon Pain and the Auntie Anne's and even McDonald's with great self control. Go me!

Just wear sweats!

2) I do not get dressed up to travel. In fact, I do the opposite. I dress down. Or shall I just say I wear my basically anytime-I-am-not-at-work attire of sweats/yoga pants and a hoodie. I am all about comfort over style when it comes to flying (and basically everyday life as it stands). Elastic waists all the way! If I had it my way I would undo my bra once I am situated in my seat too but I don't want to push it. I do not understand women who go all out (heels, make-up, etc...) when they fly. It's baffling to me.


3) I get annoyed when people don't know how to fill their bins properly in the security line. It's 2012. We are over ten years after 9/11 and people still don't know what to do. Take your shoes off and take your computer out and put it in a separate bin. Get a clue. Stop holding everyone up. There are signs everywhere and people telling you what to do. How can you still screw this up? Morons. I love being behind the business fliers because they are so quick and efficient because they do this so often. 

Also on this note, I try to wear flip flops or flats to make it easier to take my shoes on and off but then I end up standing barefoot on the airport floor which skeezes me out. I never know whether to wear my gym shoes and deal with lacing and unlacing or go with some sort of slide on shoe. Decisions, decisions.

4) I think working the X-ray machine would be so cool. Once I put my stuff on the conveyor belt and move through the metal detector, I try to always get a good look on the screen of the person looking at the X-ray machine stuff. I think it would be a cool job to do that. Maybe not all day, every day, but those people get to see what's inside everyone's suitcase. Kinda neat. I am sure its gets boring doing it ALL day, but it looks like fun for a bit. I want to do it. For like a day. Or maybe just an hour or two. Regardless, I always am intrigued and wonder what they see looking through hundreds of suitcases day after day.

5) I get suuuuper irritated when I bring carry on and am forced to check my bag anyway.  When every single person has a carry-on as the case usually is, everyone puts it in the overhead compartments. And guess what? They get filled up pretty damn fast. The airlines had to know this was going to happen when they started charging people for checking luggage. As someone who used to check a bag and now makes due with carry on, I get it, but that doesn't stop me from being pissed when I am seating 4 and they make me check my carry on. This just adds unnecessary time when I land to wait for my bag when all I want to do is get where I need to go. I followed the rules and I still have to wait. Annoying.

6) I don't really sleep on the plane and am very jealous/envious of those that can. Maybe it's natural or maybe it's induced by some self medication. Some Ambien, some Xanax, and/or some alcohol. Whatever it is, I wish I could sleep on a plane. Maybe I need to invest in one of those neck pillow things as a start. Hmmm.... Or just get some meds. Either/or. Oooooh, or both.

Why yes, I'd love to share a cab back uptown when we land. 

7) I always hope for a hot, single, businessman seatmate. We will then of course talk the whole flight, hit it off (because I am so charming and hilarious!), exchange numbers, date and get married. What a great story to tell our kids. Maybe one of these days I will be able to blog about that. One can only hope!

Flying obviously isn't what it use to be ten years ago. But I prefer beefed up security and longer lines and be safer. As long as I give myself enough time to get there, it's no big deal. Also, usually when I am flying I am totally going somewhere I am looking forward to or coming back from a great visit/vacation so there isn't much to stress about. I fly back to NYC tomorrow, so there's always a little hope that number 7 can happen for me. Wish me luck! Maybe I will be blogging about that in the near future?!