As I've done the last two years that I've had this blog and celebrated a birthday, I like to look back and highlight my year. As with anyone, along with the highlights always come some lowlights and from them I can only learn and grow. As I get older, I continue to evaluate some of my mistakes and do my damnest not to repeat them. I'm not perfect, so yeah, sometimes I do make the same mistake twice. It frustrates the hell out of me, but in the end, it does make me stronger and better. So as I did last year, I am starting with the lows of the year and ending with the highs hoping to start 32 with a bang. Without furthur ado, here is how 31 went for me...
LOWS:
1) I had another UC flare. After starting Remicade and being healthy for so many months in a row, Spring rolled around and stress followed. I fully believe that this flare was stress induced and caused by me and only me. That was a huge bummer to say the least because I had been flare-free for almost 8 months. Unfortunately, I let outside factors get to me. Over the years, I have improved (mildly. baby steps.) in the area of coping with things "that are out of my control" but I still sweat the small stuff time and time again. And unfortunately, my body does not cope well with it. As I get older, I am trying not to let things get to me and stress me to the point of illness, but it's a very slow, painful process.
2) The NYC Marathon. I know this should be high as it is such a great accomplishment, but not PRing was really upsetting to me. I'm over it and all because I can't change it, but it still doesn't make me feel any better about my time. This race, although one of the most fun I have ever run, was one of my greatest disappointments of the year. Training and preparing for this race consumed me for three months of this year and I expected better results. I am too competitive for my own good (I have to work on this too!) and just hate not bettering my best each time I get out there. I know there are a lot of factors that play into a race, and I've accepted I can't go back in time and change them, but that doesn't take the sting out not doing as well as I had hoped. When you work hard for a goal and just barely miss it, there is anguish.
3) I'm still single. This isn't necessarily always a bad thing. Trust me. But I am lonely from time to time. I fear this sounds pathetic, but this blog is my sounding board, so I guess it will have to sound that way. And please don't get pathetic confused with desperate. Because desperate I am not. I came close to snagging a BF this year, but in the end it wasn't right and I had to end it. I knew what I wanted and deserved and he couldn't give it to me, and at this age, if it's not really going anywhere, its not worth the time. It's a tough realization because feelings are involved, but ultimately I was proud of myself for doing what was right for ME (even though he didn't agree) and I totally know it was the right decision. It made me super sad at the time but looking back it was 100% the right decision though. That I am sure of. I've gone out on some dates over the year, but the sparks never really fly. I will walk out of a date and be like "Sure, he's a nice guy...just not for me." Blah. And the one time they did (at least to me), the feeling wasn't reciprocated. Grrr. This hurt a lot. I try not to take it too personally, but how can I not to some degree? But you know what? On the plus side, I do feel I am growing from all these dating experiences even though they suck balls. Sure it's rather unpleasant (to say the least) to not have the feelings you have toward someone mirrored back, but you have to move on. Why would I want to be with someone that doesn't know how awesome I am? Someone who doesn't want to be with me as much as I want to be with them? Someone who doesn't realize how lucky they'd be to have me? I truly do believe this and until I meet someone that knows these things, singledom will have to do. And you know what? As whiny and demoralized as I am about this right now, I truly value my independence and freedom incredibly and am used to doing pretty much whatever I want, whenever I want, without thinking of anyone else. It's a nice thing to have, but I'm ready to let go a little and let someone in my life to share some of this with.
HIGHS:
1) I got certified as a spin instructor. Spin became a mainstay in my life this year with my growing addiction to SoulCycle. Although I had been spinning for the last three years or so, this year I started going to Soul and became kind of a spin snob because of it. It made me not enjoy or feel challenged by the free classes my gym offered, but on the flip side, it made me really love spin so much that I decided to get certified to teach classes. I wanted to share my passion with others. (And get paid for it too. Not too shabby.) Because I had zero teaching experience and already have a full time job, I couldn't apply to the big-timers like Soul and Flywheel, but was able to get a gig as a sub at a gym by my apartment. I was super nervous to teach my first class, but killed it and felt that I nailed all the subsequent classes after. Plus, I had such a blast doing it. It felt amazing. My playlists are the shit (I kid not) and I really make my class intense. And did I mention how much fun it is? So. much. fun. My goal for this year is to try to get something steadier at this gym and also send out my resume (now that I have some actual experience) to some other gyms.
2) I got a new job. After eight years at the only teaching job I knew, I left my school and took a teaching position at a new school. It was one of the best decisions I made and I am so happy at my new job. I am working a lot harder and putting in more time, but I don't even care because teaching and working is enjoyable again and my work is actually appreciated. (And my commute is shorter!) Having this fresh start in my new school has definitely made me happier overall this year.
3) I traveled Europe. OMG, did you not read all the blog posts about my trip? (Seriously, you better have read them. They were informative and hilarious!! So if you haven't, you need to take some time and do that. Seriously. (And start from the beginning.)) I mean, I wrote every single day I was there and documented so much of what I did and saw. It was only the best trip of my life. Duh. Booking this trip on such a whim and then seeing and doing as much as I did in such a short time was absolutely incredible. I loved every second of that trip and for three and a half weeks I was in pure bliss and every new experience was just so exciting to me. Eight countries later, I came back to the US wiser, more well-traveled, cultured, and happier. I can't wait to feel that again and hope I get the opportunity to travel abroad sooner than later.
So, there you have it. Thirty-one wasn't such a bad year for me. I mean, seriously, life is good. I have big plans up ahead with some new workouts that will take me out of my comfort zone, I'm signed up to run a half-marathon in DC in the spring, have an upcoming summer trip to the Pacific Northwest to plan, hopefully an entry to the 2014 Chicago marathon, and I'm assuming lots of goods stuff sprinkled in between there. Thirty-one is in the dust and we are onto the new with thirty-two!!! Here's to another happy and healthy to me.
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