Screw the Rules

One of the many shows that I watch is Bravo's Miss Advised. If you haven't seen or heard of this show, its about three women, who are "dating experts" yet are all single. They all give advice to other women all over the country from their respective roles (author, matchmaker, sex expert), yet don't seem to follow their own advice when it comes to guys and dating. So that's the role I am going to play today. I am the single 30-year-old woman giving dating advice. You know, because I am such a pro at landing a man. Work with me here.

Even though its 2012, there still seems to be these "rules" out there that both guys and girls think exist and have to be followed to gain a significant other. Well, guess what? They don't. If you like someone, freaking call them. If you have sex with someone on the first date, you are not a whore or a slut. Do what feels right. I mean, really, if you know who you are and what you want, then do what you need to do. Screw the rules.

The four rules below are what I feel are the four most common dating rules out there. I also believe they are complete bullshit. Once again, I am clearly no dating expert nor claim to really know much. I can just tell you what I have experienced myself (and what I have heard from friends). I do know that I am not into following any rules or playing any games. I march to my own drummer. And I do know I am not going to settle for anything less than amazing. I am at the point in my life where I am going to take each guy for who he is and each date one by one. Every situation does not call for the same reactions/behaviors. So let's look at these supposed dating rules and tear them down one by one. Shall we?

Stupid dating Rule #1: Don't ask for his number/ask him out. This is a new era ladies. If you meet a guy and hit it off, ask for his digits. He will be impressed by your chutzpah. It's not too forward or aggressive. It's assertive and you are showing interest. It takes some of the pressure off him. Additionally, if you have his digits and he is dragging his feet in the mud, you can ask him out. Ask him for drinks. It's not a big deal at all. If he's not interested, he should say so. And if he is, he will accept the invite.

Stupid dating Rule #2: The 3-day rule. People really still believe in this. Pathetic. Guys, if you like a girl, call or text her the next day. Heck, you can even do it the same night as the date. Tell her you had fun. Ask her if she got home safely. (Ladies, feel free thank him again and tell him you had a good time.) It's not desperate. Once again, it shows you are interested. We like that. We want to be reassured. If you don't want to do this, fine. But if you do want to see each other again, reach out the next day. Ask how the work day went. Find something flirty to say related to your convo from the previous night. Do not wait three days. Lame.

Stupid dating Rule #3: The 3-date rule. Okay, many girls do follow this rule if they really like a guy. I mean guys, why buy the milk if you can get the cow for free, right? Ugh, might not be the case. If three dates is not enough, then by all means, wait five. Or eight. Do what feels right. If you are really feeling it night one, then go for it. If he doesn't call you again, then he's an asshole and whatever. His loss. If he does call you again for a real date after you nailed him the first night, he probably still really likes you. If he calls you late night to "chill" after that, he probably just wants you as booty call, not a girlfriend. If you want to make sure he really is interested and in it to win it, then go ahead and make him wait until you feel it might become serious. It's all up to you. Girls, we def have control on this front.

Stupid dating Rule #4: Don't accept a last minute invitation for a date. If you are texting or talking and he asks what you to grab drinks/dinner that night and you are free and want to see him, then do it. It won't make you look like you have no life. It shows you can be spontaneous and casual. If you want to go, then go. If you feel the need to make him wait, he may just ask someone else to hang that night.

There is one rule that I know may sound old school but I do firmly still think should exist. I DO think that a guy should pay for the first date. Minimally. I kind of think he should pay for the first three. Then you can start splitting it or taking turns. Also no cell-phones at the table. That is R-U-D-E on both ends people. Don't do it.

Some of you might read my thoughts on this and think "No wonder this chick is still single" while others might be all "You go girl. Right on." Whatever it may be, these rules may get some women somewhere and other women nowhere. We are all different and so are the guys we are dating. Do your thing ladies and if he likes you enough, he will show it. There are so many dating rules out there that are crap. Screw 'em. Make your own!