Waiving those Red Flags

When you start dating someone, you are happy, giddy, and excited. You finally met someone you are interested in and may want them to become your official significant other. When you guys are together the first few times, you are the best "you" you can be, all while being yourself. You assume the same about him as well. You two want to get to know each other and show each other why you are so great and should be with each other. During this initial courting/dating period though, sometimes us ladies might ignore the "red flags" that guys might be throwing. These are things you notice in other people all the time, but the blinders might come on when you actually like someone.

It's good to be open-minded when you are first dating someone because you don't want to dismiss them for one little thing. But if that one little thing that is annoying/rude/irritating keeps happening, can you ignore it? If he does a bunch of different annoying/rude/irritating things that all keep adding up, can you just forget about them because you like him so much? I don't think so.  How many red flags are too many?

While you are first trying to impress your crush, you are essentially on your best behavior. You are you, but you are your best you. For a good relationship to blossom, communication is key. If that is lacking, the relationship is bound to fail. Unfortunately, many guys either don't communicate well or think they are doing it well, but are terrible at it. Many of them don't even realize half the time, they are doing something wrong.  As someone who is a thinker and a planner, I need to know what's going on. I need an organized plan. That's me and the guy has to know that and work with that. So guys, if you are into a girl, try not to throw these red flags up. And ladies, watch out for them.

1) Not returning calls/texts in a timely manner. This is rude. It's understandable during work hours, while you are on the train, or working out, and some other occasions, but otherwise its not okay. This may make me seem a little high maintenance, but I just think its being polite. Everyone has cell phones these days and most of us keep them on our person at all times. (This red flag is not just for guys, its for anyone in general. It's called common courtesy folks. Please get some.) If you like me, you will be thinking of me and wanting to text/call me so if I reach out, please respond. And don't even get me started on the fact when someone texts you and you reply right away and then they don't write back. Like really? You just wrote me. Where did you go? I don't get it.

2) Running late (like more than 20 minutes) on more than one occasion and not letting you know they are going to be late. In an age of cell phones, this should not even be an issue. If you are running late, let the other person know. It's only the right thing to do. I am stickler for time and am rarely, if ever, late to things. And if I am, I make that call. If someone is going to wait for me, I want them to at least be aware of how long its going to be. And if you do let the person know, please be honest with how long you will be.

3) He doesn't make the plans clear and/or expects you figure it all out. It's now 6:00 and you are supposed to see this guy that night and you still haven't heard from him. Weird. Maybe we aren't hanging tonight? Maybe we already made a plan and I forgot? I like a guy to make a plan right away. Make a suggestion for drinks/dinner and set a time. Don't make the girl plan it all. You are the man. Take charge. By not doing so, you are showing the woman that you aren't a great decision maker, planner, organizer, and indecisive even. For me, these are not okay traits to have. And a day before or few hours before confirmation never hurt anyone.

4) He's constantly looking at his phone or even takes calls/makes texts during the date. So. Freaking. Obnoxious. Unless he has told you he is expecting an important call/text the phone shouldn't be out. (This obviously goes both ways.) When you are first dating, you should give each other your undivided attention. You are getting to know each other after all.

Some of these things might not bother you, but for me, they are huge red flags and if I let a guy get away with them early on it only sets a precedence that I think these habits are okay.
And they are most certainly not. I do have high expectations for someone and as I have said on numerous occasions, I am not settling for anything less than I deserve. Yes, I know that I need to know to be more open-minded and relaxed, but the above red flags just show a general sense of I-don't-give-a-shit or I-have-no-idea-of-what-are-acceptable-manners and that's just unacceptable for someone that I want to get in a relationship with.