Pathetic...Party of One

Hey you! Yeah, you over there. The one I have had a crush on for the last 7 months. Why do I still like you? For some reason, I have this crush on you that I cannot shake. You are nothing special. At all. And yet, I am strangely drawn to you. What is my problem?

You so very obviously don't like me. And I know this. You have no desire to date me. After going out a few times together, I blew it. We both know what happened and don't need to relive it. But I def blew it and you have every right to not be interested anymore. I get it.

I like you and yet you don't like me. You have even said so much to my face. (Well not exactly. You told me you didn't want to date anyone right now. But we both know by anyone, you meant me. I am not an idiot, you know.) Yep, brutal. Yet I can't help but think you are going to come around and realize how much you do, in fact, like me and want me to be your girlfriend. I mean, really? This NEVER happens and this isn't going to be the exception. Seriously, what is my problem? I know you suck. For reals. My friends tell me how much you suck. You possess so many qualities that generally turn me off someone. But I am still attracted to you. This is so NOT like me. At all. In fact, I never get hung up on guys. Usually, I have the feeling of "your loss sucker" and move on. But not with you. Which is weird too because I have never had more clear signals that someone is not interested in me and have that attract me even more. I feel like a character in a bad movie. But alas, this is my real life and I need to get over you. ASAP. Pathetic...party of one.

I think my problem is that I like you because you don't like me back. I think that's pretty much it. I like the chase. I want what I can't have. I am also very aware that the second that we'd actually start to date, I'd get annoyed and irritated with you after about two weeks, and want to end it. Yet I still like you. Why is that? What is wrong with me? I can't be the only one this happens to? Can I? Apparently I like to torture myself. I will get over you. Eventually. Maybe you should just date me one more time so we can get this whole charade over with?! Uh huh, yeah.