Evolution of Technology

Growing up, we had pretty limited ways to communicate with the opposite sex. It was pretty much talk to them in person or call them on the phone. Lame. This is probably the reason that people of my generation seem to have slightly better interpersonal and social skills than those born ten years later.  Although we do rely heavily on technology, part of me is very glad that Facebook and text messaging didn't exist when I was in high school and college. I fear it would have gotten me in many more embarrassing situations than it already has. As an adult, I sometimes make bad decisions using my phone while drunk, so I can't imagine what kind of damage I could have done in my wilder, more immature days. 

Back in the day when I liked a guy, I would freak out about what I was going to say on the phone if I called him.  I would totally plan it out in my head on what I would say and hope there were not awkward pauses during our conversation.  Sometimes, I would actually hope his answering machine would pick up so I could leave a message and he'd have to call back and start the conversation. You see, when I was in middle school and high school, there were no cell phones (although I did have car phone in my car in high school. Yes, I was that cool. Still am. Some things don't change.)  Back then, you'd have to actually call a boy at his house. Sometimes if he didn't have his own phone line, his parents would even answer and you'd have to be super polite when asking to talk to speak to him.  In college, myself and most of my friends got our first cell phones, but if you liked someone, you still had to actually call them on the phone. Annoying. Nerve-wracking. AIM became very big so you could IM your crush if you had their screenname. And once you had that, you could also totally creep their away messages and see what they were up to until AIM came up with that feature that showed how many times people saw your away message. Buzzkill.

I know I am totally dating myself, but at the end of senior year of college, text messaging started to become all the rage. I still remember my very first text message. My phone had this weird icon and kept beeping and I had no idea what was going on. I finally read this message but had no idea what it was and how to respond. Eventually I got the hang of it and haven't looked back since. Also senior year of college, Friendster was kind of something of a social networking tool, but we weren't totally sure what exactly, but it wasn't a big of a deal at all.  Next came MySpace which was a social networking phenomena until Facebook came on the scene and changed everything. Everything.

Nowadays if you meet a guy and like him, you can first Facebook stalk him. Obvi. Usually this is pretty easy to do but can have mixed results. Is his profile is so private that you can't get any new info? (Annoying.) Or is his wall and and all his pics available to see? (This equates to him being too dumb to update his privacy setting. Ugh.) If you like what you see or can't find anything, this is usually followed up with the text. You have to be careful here because you don't want to have just a texting relationship which can build high expectations in your head and then fizzle fast.

No one picks up the phone to make an actual call these days. And usually if they do, I am impressed.  If I actually am interested in you, I will answer your call, but more often than not, I don't, because lets be honest, if I barely want to text you, what makes you think I actually want to talk to you? But I have to admit, I sometimes wish it was "normal" to just pick up the phone and talk for a while instead of texting back and forth. And this is coming from someone who doesn't even really like talking on the phone. You can accomplish so much more getting to know someone a bit in a half hour phone convo versus a two hour texting convo.  However, some people, myself included on occasion, feel that they can be more outgoing via text or even FB messaging. You can type what you want and edit it before you press send to make sure its perfect. I get it. And I do the same thing sometimes, but I really do miss an old fashioned phone call asking me out on a date. It's still okay over text, but it lacks the intimacy of a phone call.

All of these communication technology tools have been incredible and I am sure it will only continue to improve. But as it gets better, I feel that social skills, especially involving courting and dating, will continue to get worse and I am not okay with this, especially in my singledom. Things don't need to get even harder. Even though I sometimes benefit from this technology because someone that might not have picked up the phone would not have asked me out does via text, and vice-versa, but this is probably one the big reasons relationships these days aren't as strong and last as long as they should.  I am hoping that in the future, if you really like someone, its worth just picking up the phone. Believe me, I am worth it.