Something I am actually shy about

I will burp in front of pretty much anyone. Anytime. Anywhere.  Same goes with talking about poop. But there is one thing that I do find to be pretty personal and I really have to know you and trust you to do in front of you. And that my friend, is farting. Believe it or not,  I will not just fart in front of anyone. In fact, I can probably count on less than two hands the people I will actually fart in front of. Obviously this number does not count all the lucky folks that are behind me when I crop-dust down the street. Booyah.

I don't know what it is about farting that makes me so shy about it. With my openness with so many other subjects, this is usually shocking to people close to me. But they do probably appreciate that I don't fart in front of them. And for those I do fart in front of, I will go above and beyond the act of a simple fart. I will announce my fart. I will fart on you. And I will dutch oven you. Then I will laugh and laugh about it. After all, farting is funny. In fact, its pretty hilarious. (Some of the funniest movie scenes are fart/poop scenes (Harold and Kumar, Dumb and Dumber, even the pink-eye scene in Knocked Up)). So once I get started farting in front of you and break that barrier, look out.

So who do you fart in front of? Family? Friends? Boyfriend? Husband? If you are one of those people (and by people, I mean ignorant men) that think "Eeew, girls don't fart" (or poop), you are going to have a very rude awakening when you get married unless your wife is as weird about it as you are. Then by all means, you are probably perfect for each other and the most boring, stick-up-your-ass couple out there. Farting is natural. It's also totally normal. And everybody does it. Everybody. I just read a fantastic blog article about farting that had me laughing out loud. Especially the second paragraph. It was so spot on. Farting is funny. Period. So let's just be more open about it, myself included.

I can only hope when I do meet the man of my dreams, he will obviously be very impressed with my phenomenal burping skills, but more importantly, when I do decide to fart in front of him, he will love me just the same no matter how loud or how smelly. Because lets be honest, if you have to hold in all that gas for the rest of your life, its going to stink.