Getting My Workout On

It's that time of year again when all those people make New Years resolutions to hit the gym more often. It's pretty irritating. But the good thing is it only lasts about a month and then everything gets back to normal again and myself and the other regulars get our space back.

As you know, I like to get my workout on and I frequent the gym quite often now that the weather has gotten colder. Everyone at the gym pretty much has the same goals: Get healthy, lose weight, and/or feel good. I go to achieve all of these things and just love the energy and confidence a good workout gives me. Gotta love those endorphins. Since I am a creature of habit, I often go at the same time during the week so I see most of the same faces. On the weekends, I am a little more flexible so go whenever. This is when I get to see many of the different faces that I don't come into contact with during the week. There is quite a motley crue that go to my gym because of the neighborhood it is located it, however most gyms have a lot of the same types of people. These are the different types of people I have come across at the gym over the years.

1) Anorexic Girl. (Let me preface this by saying this might be a sensitive subject, but the fact remains these girls exist.) I don't know whether to be jealous of you (is that wrong?) or to feel sorry for you. I think about 10% of me is jealous of you for actually having the self-control to not eat and/or overexercise and 90% of me just feels bad for you. I feel bad because you probably look in the mirror and don't see what I am looking at and that is just plain sad. (And if that's the case, what do I look like in your eyes?) You spend all your time probably obsessing over what you are eating or not eating, and how much time you will spend at the gym. I also do that, but not to the extent that you do. I wonder how you have the energy to workout as much at you do, let alone at all. Please get some help (if you aren't already) because it really is painful for me to watch you continue to work out.

2) Man in spandex. I am sure you might have nice shapely legs and maybe even a tight ass, but I am sorry because when you are dude in spandex, all eyes goes directly to your junk. And you are lying if you say your eyes don't jolt their first. But guess what? I don't even want to see your junk, but in those spandex, you are putting it right on display and I can't help it. Then I giggle like a little immature girl. Let me focus on my workout please.

3) Grunting Man or Woohoo Lady in Spin Class. We get it. You are really getting it in. And maybe even working extra hard. But no one is impressed. Nor do I think you are working any harder than us. I kind of find it annoying actually.

4) Singing Diva or Rapping Dude. Just like I don't want to hear your phone conversation while I work out, I don't want to hear you singing or rapping on the machine near me. Nor do I want to see you shaking your booty on the treadmill or stair stepper. I do appreciate your enthusiasm and enjoyment while you work out but its distracting.

5)Psycho on high speed/low resistance on the elliptical. Usually this is a dude. And I always chuckle when I see you take down all the resistance and increase the speed on the elliptical like its going to catch fire. The machine is squeaking and you are holding on for dear life. You actually think you are getting an extreme workout here. There is no way you will keep this pace for an entire work out, so I always wonder what kind of you are trying to achieve. To each their own with this one, but I just don't get it.

6) The woman who has an amazing body. Even if I worked out all day everyday, my body still wouldn't look like hers. Maybe she works out really hard? Maybe she eats a really healthy diet? Or maybe she just has really good genes? Regardless, I want her body and will watch her work out and admire.

7) Dude working out in Khakis or jeans. WTF, this is not workout gear. How is this not super uncomfortable? How are you not chaffing ridiculously bad? Workout clothes are made for a reason. Invest in some. 

8) In the locker room: Woman who walks around completely naked. Bravo to you for being so comfortable with yourself and your body. But not everyone else is totally cool with you blow drying your hair naked. And now we know if you wax or not and that is something only your significant other should be aware of. Put on some undies AND a bra and then we can converse and you are then free to walk around.

Every gym has their usuals and their weirdos and sometime they are one and the same. I realize I am being super judgy here, but I really don't care. I do know that I don't fall into these categories at all (although I do wish I was #6), but who knows what the others say about me. Whatever. Frankly, I don't care because I go there dressed appropriately, minding my own business ready to get my sweat on.